Entry tags:
- ace attorney: athena cykes,
- eureka seven: anemone,
- harry potter: remus lupin,
- harry potter: sirius black,
- homestuck: jade harley,
- homestuck: rose lalonde,
- inception: ariadne,
- killjoys: dutch,
- merlin: merlin,
- narnia: edmund pevensie,
- star wars: rey,
- the vorkosigan saga: byerly vorrutyer,
- wynonna earp: wynonna earp
video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw
[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]
God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.
[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]
Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!
[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]
I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.
[ And then, with a small bow - ]
Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.
God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.
[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]
Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!
[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]
I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.
[ And then, with a small bow - ]
Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

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[She says it slyly.]
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[ He turns to face the camera more fully, lowering himself into a bow that has a larger sincerity to mockery ratio than most of his bows. ]
What sort of adventure?
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audio | un: priorly
Whose customs could run to a crime.
But it's quite safe, he said,
To play bed, wed and behead,
If you duck at just the right time.
I didn't know you played. [Piano, not this party game.]
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Well, you know my dear Prior,
I'd deny it, but I'd be a liar.
-- Et cetera, et cetera. Are you referring to the game, or to the piano?
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[Just an idle comment, really.]
And I think I might remember how to play whist, if I thought about it. My father used to play. But if you're still bored once you sober up, you might accompany me to the Palace.
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Oh? Were you invited to the palace, Madam Lutece? How remarkable.
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un: nash, video.
What could I tell you about my life that would inspire poetry? At least I've got a good name for rhyming.
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[ Also, he thought you were a woman?? Well-played. ]
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video; un: labyrinths
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video | un: colt.saa
[ said with the slightest air of levity. ]
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[ He executes a perfect bow to Ocelot. ]
At your humble service. Are you impressed?
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text | un: tentacleTherapist
some fanciful tidbit to spark your rhymes?
This tale, though, might entangle you in string,
the yarn I'd spin if I wanted to try.
I could tell stories of a reckless girl,
of dark magics, of unbeatable foes.
I could tell you epics of dying worlds,
of seers and knights and bloodfester throes.
My tale may be too long, perhaps too tall,
too thick a book for the strongest of shelves.
Still, it doesn't matter, for after all:
I'm something of a skilled wordsmith myself.
And while some might appreciate this game,
in truth, I find a limerick's rather lame.
[ rose could you maybe be a little less extra??? ]
video, because.
Tentacles? Disgusting.
text probably forever i am so sorry
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video (un: courtroom revolutionnaire)
[ Look, it's his own fault for having brought it up before - it only makes sense to laugh about it in public now. ]
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No. They take money. And I'm pretty much out of that.
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[ ah, well. ]
All right, I'll play. [ and like he doesn't already know things about her: ] I'm Dutch, I like guns and drinks and kicking arse.
Now write me something pretty.
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Who had the most magical touch.
At her merest mention,
Men stood to attention,
But was she merciful? No. Not so much.
[ He grins at her and sweeps her a bow. ]
Esteemed Dutch. I fear it ended up a little romantic - should I write one more in tribute to your ferocity?
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video / un: merlin
[Just wondering, with the kind of amused curiosity specially reserved for the very drunk.]
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[ He takes a sip. ]
Are you a boring sod?
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voice;
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video, un: gardenGnostic
A... limerick is a rap?
[ Just to be clear??? He likes to rap, right ]
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Well, perhaps, perhaps not. What do you mean by rap, dear girl?
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video; un: s/s mischief
Snazzy.
[ is he using that descriptor 10000% on purpose? yes, yes he is. ]
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Classy. Fitting to play in high society. You couldn't say "fuck" to a Vor maiden; she'd blush.
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video | un: edmund
Proles. [ Snorts. ] Casual affronts seem to be the way to men's hearts, these days.
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text; un: theEND
[...]
also what's a limerick
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video | un: null
Superb choice for an origin story, if I do say so myself!
Next time I'm kidnapped by extraterrestrials I'll have to remember that one.
[ He's no historian, but whenever have you heard of an aristocrat actually dedicating himself to the service of anyone lower than himself? After all - the heads of rulers are bowed for no one.
Which coincidentally tends to be why they get cut off. ]
Or maybe something that doesn't sound as heinously full of hot air.
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Are you always so suspicious of others' words, dear fellow?
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video | un: falcon
There's plenty to do if you simply inquire. Then again, you don't particularly seem as though you're someone who's ever seen an honest day's hard work.
[ not with those proles and parties comments slipped in - and a self-proclaimed 'emperor' might not find it pleasant without any subordinates to lord over here, she surmises. ]
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Well. Define "hard work." And also "honest."
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audio | rjlupin
I lived in Limerick for a few months. [ And as a faintly disappointed aside: ] No one spoke in rhyme.
—and my name is Remus Lupin, [ to get back on the subject of getting his limerick thank you, ] and I'm a prole of no account but decent education.
video because.
What, is Limerick a place?
[ How fascinating. Byerly looks quite pleased a moment to have learned this. ]
Well. Lupin's not so much good for rhyming, unless we're going to go very juvenile, which I prefer not to do, as I am an adult and a very classy one at that. So, let us ponder Remus. Where were you educated, Monsieur Lupin?
video because manners.
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video | un: eggsy
Nice playin', By. [ an amused smile. ] Am I too late for the party?
[ given the amount of liquor gone and poetry (?) spouted already. ]
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[ He shakes the bottle to show there's still brandy left in it. ]
But you heard the rules. Give a little bit about yourself before you can get a limerick.
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audio | un: wynonna
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[ Byerly, without missing a beat, sighs a little wistfully. ]
My holdings are modest indeed. But we barrel-makers are a proud people, and no doubt.
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