video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]

God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.

[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]

Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!

[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]

I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.

[ And then, with a small bow - ]

Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Which answer would give you more pleasure?

[motivation]

[ the first. ]

The truth.

[vorrutyer]

Really. I didn't know you were that sort of person - getting pleasure just from being told something true. Should I write you another limerick? Give you a real thrill?

[ Then - ]

A Vor does not grow up without learning at least the basics of combat.

[motivation]

That's promising.

[ he mentions the vor a lot. enough to make a girl curious.

dutch isn't that kind of person, not really. but there are discrepancies between what she says and what she means often enough. most of them are deliberate and not because she's fooling herself about who or what she is. ]

[vorrutyer]

So is that an invitation?

[motivation]

To let me punch you anyway? Hells yes.

[vorrutyer]

Well - then, against my better judgment...Where shall we meet?

[motivation]

There's a dojo in the city. I'll meet you there.

[vorrutyer]

I'll look forward to it.

[ And he shows up - dressed a little inappropriately, in shirtsleeves and trousers, but that's simply how By dresses, it seems. He has an ironic little smile, and bows to her with elaborate courtesy, saying - ]

Esteemed madam.

[motivation]

[ dutch, meanwhile, is wearing only a sports bra and tights. she's been working the punching bag hanging from the ceiling for a while now, but when byerly shows up and bows, she stops. ]

Aren't we past the formal shit by now?

[vorrutyer]

[ With a wry shrug - ]

Can a fish ever be past water?

[motivation]

[ will there ever come a time when dutch doesn't roll her eyes at him? probably not. ]

I think they call that evolution.

[ look, she's not a scientist, shut up. ]

[vorrutyer]

Something I haven't the skills for, alas. Does the formality offend you?

[motivation]

Offend? No.

[ dutch nods to the middle of the mats, inviting him to step up, circling him when he does. her lips quirk up. ] Annoy? You bet.

[vorrutyer]

[ And By kicks off his shoes, and arches his back to stretch a moment, then steps onto the mat. He doesn't brace himself, or get into a stance: he merely stands, muscles relaxed and loose, his only sign of readiness the way his eyes track her. ]

Really? Everyone I've met has always been ever so charmed by me and my ways of doing things. I'm agreeable, you see. Everyone says so.

[motivation]

[ if he's not going to make the first move, dutch will: a simple punch thrown his way, pulled enough that it's just about testing his reflexes for now. ]

Well, if everyone says so — [ she drawls, clearly not impressed. ]

[vorrutyer]

[ A quick step to the side means that the punch misses him by a rather wide berth. His reflexes are fast. Yet he doesn't retaliate beyond that. His fighting style, just like his speaking style, involves baiting people into making mistakes - and so he keeps waiting for her to make a stronger move. ]

We should put some stakes on this. If I can pin you, what'll you give me?

[motivation]

[ interesting, that. the next attack is a kick aimed at his mid-rift. ]

Depends. Got anything in mind?

[vorrutyer]

[ And another step to the side. This time, his hand lashes out to slap at her leg - not hard, not painful, just testing to see if he can throw her off-balance. ]

I want a secret.

[motivation]

[ physically, dutch isn't easy to throw off her game. emotions are another thing and none of her secrets are the good or happy kind. still, khlyen trained her better than to let emotions affect her stance, her fighting. ]

And if I pin you?

[vorrutyer]

Depends on what you want.

[ He starts moving himself, now, shifting around her, waiting and watching for any mistake - and not just any physical mistake. The people he fights, he often does depend upon emotions and reactions to sway them. A barbed word is nearly as good as a hard blow for turning the tide of battle. ]

A glass of whiskey?

[motivation]

After I got us the bottle the first time? No deal.

[ he'll have to try harder than that, at least. ]

[vorrutyer]

Then a full bottle.

[ He moves in closer - testing to see whether she'll back away warily or come to meet him. ]

[motivation]

Throw in a couple orgasms.

[ she's pretty sure she could get either of those or both from him without pinning him, but hells. if it'll get him to fight her, that's revealing a secret of his own, too, isn't it? ]

[vorrutyer]

You never have to bargain for those, esteemed madam. Giving them to you gives me satisfaction.