video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]

God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.

[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]

Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!

[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]

I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.

[ And then, with a small bow - ]

Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

Comments

[cykedelic]

When my client is innocent, I'm willing to pull out all the stops! But, you are anything but innocent.

[ Well then. ]

[vorrutyer]

And what am I guilty of, esteemed mademoiselle?

[cykedelic]

We already covered this... [ She just sounds exasperated now. ] Lying.

[vorrutyer]

And whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty? You yourself admitted you can't prove me guilty of lying, correct? But you still assume me to be guilty...

[cykedelic]

It's not like I'm taking you to court over this. [ Just this face tbh. ] Besides, if you were really innocent, you'd cooperate! That's usually how it goes.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, I don't believe that for a second. People have a multitude of reasons to lie.

[cykedelic]

[ Her lips twitch at that. ]

They might do, but my coworkers and I have safeguards against that. We can usually tell when someone is lying.

[ Phoenix, especially, has that 100% covered. Apollo's own trick is pretty on target as well. Athena's only fooled by Professionals - people who lie so expertedly it's a rarity. ]

[vorrutyer]

Yes, yes, your little...gidget, was it?

[cykedelic]

It helps me, sure. But it isn't only that. [ She lifts her hand to play with her earring. ] I can hear a person's emotions after all. Someone who lies is usually worried about being caught out and that ends up projected into their voice.

[vorrutyer]

I see. So tell me, dear mademoiselle, do I sound worried to you?

[ He does not. ]

[cykedelic]

No. But if a person knows how to control their emotions well, they can hide it. [ She isn't above admitting that now. ] It's more common among people whose emotions don't spike all that much and keep fairly level all the time.

[vorrutyer]

Ah, but that doesn't describe me at all. I'm a tempestuous, hot-blooded nobleman. We're always angry.

[cykedelic]

Hmm, that's funny... because you don't sound angry at all.

[ Which is a little more unsettling than she's letting on as well, but it's something to make a mental note of. He's the one who declared it after all, he brought that inconsistency on himself. ]

[vorrutyer]

Ah. Let me try again, then. I'm a sensitive, sad-eyed poet, so I'm always on the verge of tears.

[cykedelic]

[ Her eyes narrow at him. ]

You don't sound sad either.

[vorrutyer]

Then I'm a musician constantly brimming over with joy.

[cykedelic]

You do realise the more you try and tell me what I should be hearing, the more suspicious you sound?

[ aka, nope, not that either you punk. ]

[vorrutyer]

The more suspicious I sound? What do you suspect me of, mademoiselle?

[cykedelic]

[ Just... drops her head onto the table with a groan. ]

Lying. Stop making me go in circles!

[vorrutyer]

All right, and let me ask you this: why do you care, dear Athena?

[cykedelic]

You're the one asking me to prove something that isn't a possibility when the person in question keeps lying.

[ She slams her hand on the table in front of herself. ]

Don't make it sound like I'm not good at my job when you're being infuriating.

[vorrutyer]

Ah, but isn't this just good practice? For when you're dealing with infuriating witnesses? Really, I'm doing you a favor here.

[cykedelic]

The difference is that this isn't a courtroom... I'm more than willing to give you a smack right now.

[ ah. ]

[vorrutyer]

[ He winks at her. ]

You'll have to find me first.

[cykedelic]

You better not try and run.

[ Though to be honest, by the time she does find him she'll probably have ran off her frustration as well... Dummy.

Her screen goes off, and that marks the start of her leaving her house to try and see if she can find him based on what was in the background of the picture: a piano. ]