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January 2019

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idealog - Log 002 | Butt why? | audio un: NINES
tummyflowers - 001: that time richard made a post on that network thing (video)
vorrutyer - video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw
xxxxx - text | un: rjlupin
hannya - audio | un: mad-dog

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idealog

[ He's done his reading. He's lurked around the Red Light district for answers. 9S has seen a lot recently, but he still doesn't know. It's an itch in his mind waiting for a good scratch, but observation and research hasn't quite done the trick. He's got the basics down, he thinks, but it still seems a little too personal to test the waters himself. Being physical with someone like that? He may as well give a stranger his personal decryption codes. He's made friends here and most people aren't so bad, but the vulnerability still bothers him.

9S is more than a little exasperated with wondering. The world, especially a new one like this, is full of so much else yet there's so much focus on that one activity. ]

Why are humans so obsessed with sex? Aren't there more interesting things to do?

[ Phrasing it like that might ease the "why are you so weird?" "i'm an android" part of a conversation, he thinks, but 9S realizes it's strange enough that people will be confused regardless. This was a terrible idea. Where's the delete function on this thing, anyway?

Sigh.]

At least it's not war, I guess.

[ Always a positive. ]

tummyflowers

[On the feed appears a man! No, not a man, a king. And his username is real_life_actual_king, since that's kind of important. Although often an informal unit, Richard is decked out in the standard issue armor and helmet of the Royal Guard. It's polished to perfection. He clears his throat.]

Hello all, it's me. I'm Kind Richard with the disclaimer that the name is intentionally ironic. I've just returned from the beach, which was just fantastic. I had a great time, all around. Never did get to see that fighting pit I kept hearing about, but a really good time altogether. And how about that train, am I right? Talk about posh.

Anyway, I wanted to give people a bit of a heads up. I'm with the Royal Guard and by now, kind of a venerated veteran of sorts, I wanted to let people know that we are still recruiting. Mind you, I'm not doing the recruiting! This is more of an information awareness announcement, since you'll have to speak directly to the Commander. A tad inefficient on her part, I'll grant you, but delegation is not her strongest suit. But you tell them that your old pal Rick sent you and you'll be well on your way to making this city a better, safer place to live. Also, you'll get paid for it, so that's a nice little bonus as well. Once you're in, you can have a talk with me. I run the armory, so I'll get you hooked up with the same kind of trendy fashion you see on display right now.

Now, unrelated to this whole business of being a guard, I wanted to open the floor to people who may have had experiences like I have had. If you've recently loss your kingdom and seat of power and been reduced to living the life of a meaningless and inconsequential peasant, then you're talking to someone who's been there. It's not easy, believe me. I've gone through a number of musical numbers just trying to cope with it. But if you need someone to talk to, then I'm there for you. You don't have to suffer alone anymore.

I think that's about it. Now, how the hell do I stop this from recording? Is this it?

Ah, good. That was easier than I thought. I think I did pretty well with the whole psycho-therapeutic mentoring thing there at the end, eh Tad Cooper? Really inspired some hope in those poor hopeless sods. Hm? The light's still on? Oh hell.

Maybe if I just... and then... okay, I'll just-!

[And like that, the message ends. Finally.]

vorrutyer

[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]

God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.

[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]

Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!

[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]

I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.

[ And then, with a small bow - ]

Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

xxxxx

A few of us have been talking and we're already tired of being broke, so we're wondering what everyone hopes to do here job-wise, what you did before, and how you go about explaining it to the locals if they want to know about your previous floor-sweeping or shelf-stocking experience before allowing you to sweep any floors or stock any shelves. Especially if your job back home was a little more complicated than that.

And have any of them asked any of you for references? Do they actually check them?

Does anybody have any experience with making up false references wholecloth? Can we begin acting as one another’s references?--which is a terribly trust based suggestion, we realise, and so the following question,

Should we design a character test for the sake of honest false reference corroboration? (‘We’ is the general ‘we’ not the ‘we’ asking these questions.) Is there anyone here who is not a reliable hard worker that the rest of us should be sure not to refer for anything?

Before anyone feels the need to point out that unreliable lazy workers will lie: yes, thank you, please see similar discussions following the questions about murder.

[ For the record, this is the product of a phone and its tiny keyboard being passed around among several different curious people. Remus just drew the short straw, because there is no justice in any world, and has to post it. Also, threadjacking super encouraged if you feel the urge. ]

hannya

[After taking two weeks to familiarize himself with the city, Majima doesn't feel all that much less out of his depth than he did when he got there. He's memorized some of the streets and alleys, learned some local lingo, and most importantly, started to scout out some of the clubs in the entertainment district. If he doesn't get a job to occupy himself soon, he's going to go nuts.

He's got some ideas of where to look, but some of the clubs seem a bit more... permissive than he's used to. Majima doesn't quite get the network stuff yet, but it seems like a good place to poll for info.]

So has anyone out there found some decent places to go drinkin' yet? 'Cause if they need bouncers, seems like a good enough way to pay rent eventually.

[His ambitions are slightly higher than that, but always a good way to get a foot in the door if you know how to kick people out of it.]

And I wouldn't mind knowin' what's the closest thing this planet's got to whiskey, either.

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Entries tagged with wynonna earp: wynonna earp

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Log 002 | Butt why? | audio un: NINES

001: that time richard made a post on that network thing (video)

video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

text | un: rjlupin

audio | un: mad-dog