video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]

God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.

[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]

Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!

[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]

I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.

[ And then, with a small bow - ]

Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

Comments

[originallutece]

[Oh, she smiles at that, surprised and pleased. It's not a smile that lasts, but it's there.]

Is asking for Schubert too obscure?

[vorrutyer]

Ah, you place a challenge before a poor drunk fool.

[ And yet: he stretches his hands, takes a breath to brace himself, and starts playing. Not as practiced as the Chopin, and he leaves off about halfway through, confessing: ]

The rest of it escapes me.

[ But it wasn't bad at all. ]

[originallutece]

What you did remember was lovely.

[And a little difficult to listen to, because of course she'd asked for it for a reason and now her heart aches all the more, but . . . lovely, nonetheless.]

Thank you.

[And then, on the heels of that:]

I suppose all those childhood lessons do pay off on occasion, hm?

[vorrutyer]

Well, they would if I hadn't drunk myself into at least partial amnesia.

[ He shrugs easily. Then: ]

Do you play, then?

[originallutece]

Yes. Not often, but enough. I suppose I ought to try tracking down a piano of my own, but I might well borrow yours and save myself the trouble.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, this one isn't mine. I broke into someone's house.

[originallutece]

Are you quite serious!

[vorrutyer]

[ He holds up his hand and tilts it from side to side in a maybe-yes-maybe-no gesture. ]

I'm about half serious.

[originallutece]

Where are you?

[vorrutyer]

[ With a laugh - ]

What, madam, does a bit of lawless recklessness horrify you?

[originallutece]

Horrify? No. But if you end up arrested not a few weeks after you arrive, I'll be quite annoyed.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, I never stay in holding too long.

[originallutece]

And why is that?

[vorrutyer]

Impressive family name.

[ Then, with a wry little click of his tongue - ]

Oh, humm, or maybe that won't work here...

[originallutece]

No, I should imagine not. Any other tricks up your sleeve?

[vorrutyer]

Wit and charm?

[originallutece]

Mm, try again.

[vorrutyer]

A pretty face?

[originallutece]

How often do you imagine the guards have heard that one?

[vorrutyer]

How often do you think they've seen a face this pretty?

[originallutece]

Pretty isn't the word I'd use to describe it, Vorrutyer.

[And then, because she realizes what an opening that is.]

Pretty or not, don't rely on it. And you still haven't answered my questions.