video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]

God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.

[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]

Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!

[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]

I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.

[ And then, with a small bow - ]

Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Is that the typical cause of sexlessness?

[priorly]

For some people, apparently. On a personal basis, thankfully not.

[vorrutyer]

Still, you do enjoy giving advice, don't you?

[priorly]

Was any of that advice? What did I tell you to do, exactly?

[vorrutyer]

Am I wrong, then? Do you dislike giving advice?

[priorly]

[Besides the point. There's a beckoning motion to the camera, fingers curled inward.]

You're going somewhere with this. Come on, get to it.

[vorrutyer]

I'm not! I'm just chatting. Trying to find out more about my friend. I don't always have an ulterior motive.

[priorly]

[Hm.]

Living in a glass house myself, I do try not to tell others how to hammer in nails. I was sharing, as people sometimes do in the process of getting to know one another. And I've no interest in playing agony aunt, but if something seems reasonable like - maybe you should learn to throw a punch, I might suggest it.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, so that seems reasonable, now? I'm glad to hear it.

[priorly]

Well you have a way of making things sound crazier and crazier until the original suggestion's the most normal thing in the world.