video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly Vorrutyer is sitting in front of a piano, fingers on the keys. Byerly Vorrutyer is also, apparently, drunk. There's a bottle of brandy in front of him balanced beside the music rack that's two-thirds drained, and there's a tiny sway in his posture, and he looks sloppy - suit coat opened, shirt-collar loosened. When he speaks, his voice slurs. But as he talks, he plays Chopin beautifully, expressively. He only misses the very occasional note. ]

God help me, but this place is dull. And I know from dull. I spent an entire season - an entire season! - on the Vorinnis estate on the South Continent. If Lady Vorinnis hadn't been there to distract me with all her deliciousness, I'd have actually, literally, died of boredom. I nearly set fire to the whole taiga. Roasted all the little birdies and rabbits and peasants. Pheasants. Peasants. Whichever.

[ He sighs mournfully, casting a sorrowful glance at the camera. ]

Say, fellows, how does a man have fun around here? It's clear no one knows how to play whist, so that's out, and dueling for laughs seems tacky. I've already watched a few of you brutes bash one another's faces in, which had its charms and no doubt, but the time for that is over. I can't play bed, wed, behead with you, because you're all proles of no account and no education who wouldn't know the high-society names I mention to you. Oh!

[ He sits up a bit, stopping his playing mid-note, right before the end of the first section of the piece. What a musical anticlimax. ]

I've got one. I'll write limericks about you. Tell me a bit about yourself, and I'll write limericks. Go on, do. They'll be funny, I promise - this is one of my favorite games. Absolutely kills at parties.

[ And then, with a small bow - ]

Byerly Vorrutyer, Emperor of Barrayar, at your lyrical service.

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Well, with me on your arm, you'd most likely have some success catching her Imperial Attention. I understand she likes pretty things.

[originallutece]

So long as you don't mind being used for nothing more than your face, Vorrutyer.

[And really: she has no high hopes for getting into the palace, but she'd quite like to observe just how desperate others are to do so, and perhaps discover what it is that drives them so. Oh, power, presumably, but . . . well, she'll see. They'll see.]

In the meantime: I don't suppose you take requests for that piano?

[vorrutyer]

[ He gives a short laugh, and starts tapping out a jaunty rag. As he does: ]

Why, that'll depend upon whether or not I know what you're requesting. Let's give it a try.

[originallutece]

[Oh, she smiles at that, surprised and pleased. It's not a smile that lasts, but it's there.]

Is asking for Schubert too obscure?

[vorrutyer]

Ah, you place a challenge before a poor drunk fool.

[ And yet: he stretches his hands, takes a breath to brace himself, and starts playing. Not as practiced as the Chopin, and he leaves off about halfway through, confessing: ]

The rest of it escapes me.

[ But it wasn't bad at all. ]

[originallutece]

What you did remember was lovely.

[And a little difficult to listen to, because of course she'd asked for it for a reason and now her heart aches all the more, but . . . lovely, nonetheless.]

Thank you.

[And then, on the heels of that:]

I suppose all those childhood lessons do pay off on occasion, hm?

[vorrutyer]

Well, they would if I hadn't drunk myself into at least partial amnesia.

[ He shrugs easily. Then: ]

Do you play, then?

[originallutece]

Yes. Not often, but enough. I suppose I ought to try tracking down a piano of my own, but I might well borrow yours and save myself the trouble.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, this one isn't mine. I broke into someone's house.

[originallutece]

Are you quite serious!

[vorrutyer]

[ He holds up his hand and tilts it from side to side in a maybe-yes-maybe-no gesture. ]

I'm about half serious.

[originallutece]

Where are you?

[vorrutyer]

[ With a laugh - ]

What, madam, does a bit of lawless recklessness horrify you?

[originallutece]

Horrify? No. But if you end up arrested not a few weeks after you arrive, I'll be quite annoyed.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, I never stay in holding too long.

[originallutece]

And why is that?

[vorrutyer]

Impressive family name.

[ Then, with a wry little click of his tongue - ]

Oh, humm, or maybe that won't work here...

[originallutece]

No, I should imagine not. Any other tricks up your sleeve?

[vorrutyer]

Wit and charm?

[originallutece]

Mm, try again.

[vorrutyer]

A pretty face?

[originallutece]

How often do you imagine the guards have heard that one?

[vorrutyer]

How often do you think they've seen a face this pretty?

[originallutece]

Pretty isn't the word I'd use to describe it, Vorrutyer.

[And then, because she realizes what an opening that is.]

Pretty or not, don't rely on it. And you still haven't answered my questions.