THE NETWORK

[The poster on the network today is listed as anonymous -- but for anyone who has met him in person, they'll be sure to recognize his voice. He's not making an attempt at keeping a secret so much as making sure his name only goes out to those he wants it to. He's going by more than one these days, after all.]

[If someone listens carefully, they'll hear the sound of fire crackling in the background. Is he sitting by a campfire? Strange, it seems a little early in the day for that.]

I do hope everyone is having a lovely morning! Or at the very least, I hope you're all fairing better than I am at the moment. You see, I'm having something of a demon problem, and was wondering if anyone might be able to assist me in taking care of it! Naturally, I wouldn't be asking for anyone to help me for free.

[Something shatters in the background, and there's a good minute or two of silence. When he returns, his voice is as calm and unflappable as before... but it's probably good no one can see the face he's making.]

I'm currently in need of a large amount of holy water, but I'm afraid I'm rather incapable of producing it myself. I already know the proper rituals of course, but typically only someone of a certain caliber of purity or faith is capable of imbuing the water with the right properties. [And, ya know, not being a demon helps.] If there are any holy men, priests, priestesses, monks... ah, or even someone of particularly devout faith of any sort who would be willing to assist me, I'd be more than happy to return the favor in whatever way you see fit! ☆

That is, assuming the end result is successful. I'm afraid I don't have the resources to reward you on effort alone! Ah, and of course: serious inquires only, please.