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Entry tags:
- ace attorney: phoenix wright,
- angels in america: prior,
- blood+: saya otonashi,
- covert affairs: annie walker,
- kingdom hearts: roxas,
- outlander: claire fraser,
- penumbra podcast: juno steel,
- riverdale: cheryl blossom,
- saiyuki: genjo sanzo,
- star trek: kathryn janeway,
- stargate: john sheppard,
- teahouse: linneus,
- the 100: clarke griffin,
- torchwood: ianto jones,
- ygo: yusei fudo
TEXT; UN: J.SHEPPARD
Alright, new pop quiz. When you think of home, what do you think of?
[ Open question, which he's not going to expand on unless prompted -- though really he's curious about something specific. Do people consider Olympia or Wyver their home now? Maybe the Natha station? Or do they think of home worlds they've been told no longer exist? ]
[ Open question, which he's not going to expand on unless prompted -- though really he's curious about something specific. Do people consider Olympia or Wyver their home now? Maybe the Natha station? Or do they think of home worlds they've been told no longer exist? ]
no subject
I had just told you that I haven't felt as though I've had anywhere to call a home since I was fourteen. And yes -- that was my choice whether to do so or not. But all I wanted to know was why you were asking. You didn't have to --
[He takes in a deep breath, letting it out again, hunching himself further into his coat as he does.]
Clearly my answer didn't matter anyway, I should have known to stay out of it in the first.
no subject
Okay, maybe he'd missed a cue that this was an important emotional conversation and been insensitive. That's fine, but -- ]
Of course it matters! What's that supposed to mean? Look, you're obviously right that I'm thinking about the fact that we're looking for a place to move to. I just didn't want to have a big discussion about it via texting in public -- since clearly everyone is reading everything anyway.
[ Which you've proven, knowing about his ice cream discussion. John sighs in frustration, adjusts the puppy wiggling in his arms then gives up and sets her down. She immediately begins circling around their feet, sniffing. ]
It's not like I'm great at talking about this stuff to begin with.
no subject
Ianto slows to a halt. The puppy isn’t that good on a leash yet, and he’d really only been looking to get them away from the front of the cafe anyway, which he’d done. He’s set an alarm on his mobile for the end of his break which is just as well, he’s pretty certain he’s going to be distracted.
He studies the other man’s face for a moment before he answers and if that makes him a psychotherapist then so be it.]
So then tell me that in the moment. Tell me to wait until I get home to talk, or that you’ll visit me on break, like this. But you didn’t even acknowledge what I was saying, John. Like. That one question and that was it, none of it mattered. [He glances away.] Like you’ve become so desensitized to me sharing any details of my life you can just tune them out. “This is Ianto talking, you can pretty much assume it’s going to be depressing and leave it at that.” You hadn’t even listened to what I’d said.
no subject
Of course I listened to what you said! I didn't ask lots of questions because you've told me about it before, and I didn't want to make you drag it all out in public! Your Nan lived in the Beacons, you visited her every weekend, you went camping and she camped with you. You looked forward to it all week and she was the best thing about it. She died when you were 14. There, happy? I'm not desensitised to it, what the hell Ianto?
no subject
He keeps himself focused elsewhere. Eyes down on the ground, to the puppy who has no idea what they are talking about or why anything should be the matter. Their puppy. This isn't the end all, be all. He's just upset.
He takes a deep breath to steady himself. This isn't about lashing out. This is about talking things through.]
Look, I just. You point out all the time how you're not good at this but you know. I'm the one that seems to keep making the most mistakes.
no subject
Ianto is upset, he's upset because John upset him, Ianto is allowed to be upset.
Desensitised, though. ]
Well everyone makes mistakes, Ianto. Nobody's perfect. I'm making plenty of mistakes, if I wasn't making any you wouldn't be upset. Right?
no subject
Ianto crosses his arms across his chest, maintaining a healthy distance from the other man. The last thing he needs right now is to add insult to injury by touching him, accidentally or otherwise.]
But I'm the one who goes too far. That's what it always comes down to.
no subject
John can't help the frustration that begins to leak into his tone now, because he still doesn't really understand what's going on. ]
When did I say that? When is always? Ianto, I'm not trying to push you away. I'm trying to understand where I'm going wrong.
no subject
You don't have to say it, it's true every time. I push you. You don't want talk about it in public where people can hear. You don't want to talk about it where people can read. You don't want to talk about it at all. I'm invading your thoughts. Invading your emotions. Asking too much. Saying too much.
[He adjusts his arms as they're crossed about his chest.] You just. You could have told me to stop, John. You could have told me we'd talk later. You could have told me why. But you shut it down, and you let me get angry at you, and you told me it was my choice to have commented in the first place. My choice of topic, my choice to speak up. My fault we're arguing again. All because I just --
[He shakes his head, cutting himself off as he turns away again. No, it's stupid. It makes him feel stupid to say it now.]
no subject
No. Now you're putting words in my mouth. Don't do that. I did not say this entire thing was your fault, and I didn't I say I don't want to talk at all. I haven't said any of those things.
[ He reaches down to pick up the puppy again, hoisting her into his arms, and lofts an eyebrow. ]
I get it, I handled this situation wrong, and I'm sorry. I should have told you I didn't want to discuss it in public or something. If you want to talk about this later, let me know.
[ But John has had enough of this for now. It isn't going anywhere and he doesn't want to just keep arguing in circles, so he carefully untangles the puppy and turns to leave. ]
no subject