TEXT; UN: J.SHEPPARD

[impavid]

Alright, new pop quiz. When you think of home, what do you think of?

[ Open question, which he's not going to expand on unless prompted -- though really he's curious about something specific. Do people consider Olympia or Wyver their home now? Maybe the Natha station? Or do they think of home worlds they've been told no longer exist? ]

Comments

[impavid]

[ What?! He's pretty sure he answered more than one question -- and then, didn't Ianto change the topic? Wasn't he the one who asked what this was about? ]

Of course I listened to what you said! I didn't ask lots of questions because you've told me about it before, and I didn't want to make you drag it all out in public! Your Nan lived in the Beacons, you visited her every weekend, you went camping and she camped with you. You looked forward to it all week and she was the best thing about it. She died when you were 14. There, happy? I'm not desensitised to it, what the hell Ianto?

[torchwoodteaboy]

[Ianto recognizes that he isn't being fair. He had told John that story before after all, and John had listened then. It's not as though he really has any proof John hadn't listened now either. Maybe he'd just deflected. Is he not allowed to be upset about that either?

He keeps himself focused elsewhere. Eyes down on the ground, to the puppy who has no idea what they are talking about or why anything should be the matter. Their puppy. This isn't the end all, be all. He's just upset.

He takes a deep breath to steady himself. This isn't about lashing out. This is about talking things through.]

Look, I just. You point out all the time how you're not good at this but you know. I'm the one that seems to keep making the most mistakes.

[impavid]

[ John is still simmering, still a little tense, but he's trying not to be angry.

Ianto is upset, he's upset because John upset him, Ianto is allowed to be upset.

Desensitised, though. ]

Well everyone makes mistakes, Ianto. Nobody's perfect. I'm making plenty of mistakes, if I wasn't making any you wouldn't be upset. Right?

[torchwoodteaboy]

[Ianto can tell that John is upset now too and maybe a little part of him is pleased that he’d managed to land the dig. The rest of him is just tired. He doesn’t really want to fight with John. The other man has a funny way of making him feel like he's being hysterical, even if he has a perfectly good reason to feel the way he does.

Ianto crosses his arms across his chest, maintaining a healthy distance from the other man. The last thing he needs right now is to add insult to injury by touching him, accidentally or otherwise.]

But I'm the one who goes too far. That's what it always comes down to.

[impavid]

[ ???

John can't help the frustration that begins to leak into his tone now, because he still doesn't really understand what's going on. ]

When did I say that? When is always? Ianto, I'm not trying to push you away. I'm trying to understand where I'm going wrong.

[torchwoodteaboy]

[When is always? Come on John. Ianto flicks a glance back up at him at that one, raising an eyebrow in turn. Really?]

You don't have to say it, it's true every time. I push you. You don't want talk about it in public where people can hear. You don't want to talk about it where people can read. You don't want to talk about it at all. I'm invading your thoughts. Invading your emotions. Asking too much. Saying too much.

[He adjusts his arms as they're crossed about his chest.] You just. You could have told me to stop, John. You could have told me we'd talk later. You could have told me why. But you shut it down, and you let me get angry at you, and you told me it was my choice to have commented in the first place. My choice of topic, my choice to speak up. My fault we're arguing again. All because I just --

[He shakes his head, cutting himself off as he turns away again. No, it's stupid. It makes him feel stupid to say it now.]

[impavid]

[ What?! ]

No. Now you're putting words in my mouth. Don't do that. I did not say this entire thing was your fault, and I didn't I say I don't want to talk at all. I haven't said any of those things.

[ He reaches down to pick up the puppy again, hoisting her into his arms, and lofts an eyebrow. ]

I get it, I handled this situation wrong, and I'm sorry. I should have told you I didn't want to discuss it in public or something. If you want to talk about this later, let me know.

[ But John has had enough of this for now. It isn't going anywhere and he doesn't want to just keep arguing in circles, so he carefully untangles the puppy and turns to leave. ]

[torchwoodteaboy]

((continued here))