Text -|- un: nunya

[assholic]

Looking for work.

Previous Experience: phone operator, temporary office assistant, fast food worker, college bartender, sandwich board holder, private investigator, professional asshole.

Skills: owns own camera, capable of tolerating other assholes, not too up my own ass to do dirty work.

Special Skills: Specifics given upon request if I damn well feel like it.

Contact with offers. Anything related to strip clubs will result in learning how quickly I can track you down and hurt you with my special skills.

Comments

[assholic]

[That sounded somewhat up her alley. She tracked people. She got information. This might be something she was capable of.]

To who?

[godwins]

People who don't deserve to be in danger.

I can take care of myself, if you were wondering.

[ Although that might not be the right thing to say here, since the person he is talking about is his Other Self. ]

[assholic]

Right. Well, you wanna tell me over this, or would you prefer to meet in person?

[godwins]

It'll be easier to explain in person.
Besides, I hate this telegram typing.

One other thing, though. This other person has powers. You should know that, going in.

[assholic]

Who doesn't? You wanna do this now? I'm at a pub.

[godwins]

[ Lots of people, Jessica, okay?! ]

Sure. I got time, and I could use the drink.

[assholic]

[That is just a flat out lie, Bucky. Gosh.]

I'll be here for a bit.

[She sent the name of the pub, then ordered herself another beer. Only thing left to do now was wait.]

action!

[godwins]

[ And true to his word, Bucky shows up, looking like he's too young to be there. They don't card on El Nysa, though, so it doesn't matter that he didn't stick around on Earth long enough to see 21.

He orders a beer before he searches the place for Jessica. He has no idea what she looks like— or that she's even a she, but refugees are usually easy enough to pick out a from a crowd. ]

[assholic]

[Even she was figuring that one out, and it was the searching gaze that didn't seem to land on anyone that gave him away. She lifted her hand from where she'd settled in at a far booth, waving him over.]

[godwins]

[ Well, it was a good thing he wasn't trying to be undercover. He follows the lead, and sits down at the booth across from Jessica, putting his own drink down first and then sitting directly behind it.

What would Bogey say? Something about a nice girl like you in a place like this, probably. He doesn't say that. ]

I'm Flash Gordon.

[ That is his username on the network. ]

[assholic]

[That got him a flat look, and she leaned back in the booth and folded her arms over her chest.]

Right. The real one or the porn parody one? Because both are bullshit, but I'd like to know what flavor of bullshit I should expect.

[godwins]

It's a joke. [ He didn't know there was a porn parody, but he's picturing something like a Tijuana bible now, thanks. ]

From the Alex Raymond strip. The one in the papers?

[assholic]

... Nope. You lost me. But, let's pretend this part of the conversation never happened and you fill me in on what the deal is and what you expect me to do.

I'm Jessica Jones, by the way.

[godwins]

Alright. My name is James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky to my friends, and to everyone else.

[ He hesitates, a moment, but takes a sip of his drink to cover it up. ]

The person I'm lookin' into— is also James Buchanan Barnes.

[assholic]

Well, that's a little bit too much of a coincidence for me to brush off. Not to mention, I've already met the other Bucky. So what is it, you guys related? Bucky Jr.?

[godwins]

I am James Barnes Jr., but not because of him.

[ A bit of a glare. His father isn't a sore subject, exactly, but it isn't what he wants to talk about right now. ]

The other guy. What was he like?

[assholic]

This like some kind of weird reality version pulling a John Smith?

[Because how many James 'Bucky' Buchanan Barnes could there be? Honestly, Bucky. Gosh.]

Can't really say too much. We rode in a boat over. He was mostly quiet. Gave directions. Killed a sea snake with me. Points to him for not throwing me overboard to it.

[godwins]

[ He blinks. ]

Well, I can't see how that would've helped with the snake.

[ You don't look heavy enough to weigh a thing like that down, Jessica. ]

Nah, we're related, but not like that.

[ Maybe it isn't obvious. It was obvious to some people. He moved his hand round his face, as if that might make the whole thing fit sense. ]

[assholic]

[She frowned, a memory starting to drift back up into her thoughts.]

Wait a minute. Bucky. Bucky Barnes? Isn't that the bff of Captain Star Spangled Booty Shorts? I remember seeing something about him on the news. That's why he looked so goddamn familiar.

[godwins]

[ Is this the face of someone who knows what bff means? Even the words he does understand in that sentence he has a bit of a time putting together. ]

Do you mean Captain America? You've heard of him?

[assholic]

Of course I do. Him and the little boy band broke New York.

[godwins]

You mean, Namor and the Torch? 'Cause they feel pretty bad about that. Alright, only the Torch does, but Namor's at least gotten better at picking his targets. And you can't get too cross with someone who ain't all there, if you know what I mean.

[assholic]

Who? No. The flag waver, big green, thunder pants, and the iron asshole.

[godwins]

[ Okay, none of those names make sense, except for the last one. ]

Iron Cross?

[ Iron Cross is a Nazi. ]

Steve would never work with anyone like that.

[assholic]

You are so on the wrong page, buddy. Iron Man. Tony Stark. Billionaire playboy with a drinking problem.

[Said the super powered drunk girl.]