001: that time richard made a post on that network thing (video)

[tummyflowers]

[On the feed appears a man! No, not a man, a king. And his username is real_life_actual_king, since that's kind of important. Although often an informal unit, Richard is decked out in the standard issue armor and helmet of the Royal Guard. It's polished to perfection. He clears his throat.]

Hello all, it's me. I'm Kind Richard with the disclaimer that the name is intentionally ironic. I've just returned from the beach, which was just fantastic. I had a great time, all around. Never did get to see that fighting pit I kept hearing about, but a really good time altogether. And how about that train, am I right? Talk about posh.

Anyway, I wanted to give people a bit of a heads up. I'm with the Royal Guard and by now, kind of a venerated veteran of sorts, I wanted to let people know that we are still recruiting. Mind you, I'm not doing the recruiting! This is more of an information awareness announcement, since you'll have to speak directly to the Commander. A tad inefficient on her part, I'll grant you, but delegation is not her strongest suit. But you tell them that your old pal Rick sent you and you'll be well on your way to making this city a better, safer place to live. Also, you'll get paid for it, so that's a nice little bonus as well. Once you're in, you can have a talk with me. I run the armory, so I'll get you hooked up with the same kind of trendy fashion you see on display right now.

Now, unrelated to this whole business of being a guard, I wanted to open the floor to people who may have had experiences like I have had. If you've recently loss your kingdom and seat of power and been reduced to living the life of a meaningless and inconsequential peasant, then you're talking to someone who's been there. It's not easy, believe me. I've gone through a number of musical numbers just trying to cope with it. But if you need someone to talk to, then I'm there for you. You don't have to suffer alone anymore.

I think that's about it. Now, how the hell do I stop this from recording? Is this it?

Ah, good. That was easier than I thought. I think I did pretty well with the whole psycho-therapeutic mentoring thing there at the end, eh Tad Cooper? Really inspired some hope in those poor hopeless sods. Hm? The light's still on? Oh hell.

Maybe if I just... and then... okay, I'll just-!

[And like that, the message ends. Finally.]

Comments

video; un: capn.sparrow

[drinkupmehearties]

[ Living the life of a meaningless and inconsequential peasant, omg Richard you can't just say something like that.

Also, 'musical numbers'? Jack isn't entirely convinced this guy isn't some play-actor or minstrel of some sort because of that. ] Blimey, can't even imagine the suffering you've had to endure with havin' to properly feed and clothe yourself, mate.

[ Kings have servants to do things like that, right? ]

[tummyflowers]

Right? And yet, I endured all of it! And while I didn't come out better on the other side, I did land on my feet. It's very inspiring, I feel.

[And he wants to share it! Too bad everyone wants to criticize him for the one time he actually did somewhat okay at a thing.]

[drinkupmehearties]

That you did.

[ Props, tbh. He'd expect a king to sit around like a useless lump and endlessly grouse about the situation. Instead, this guy has apparently taken some initiative. Jack can respect that. ]

I was a king of sorts, once. Ruler of the whole Isla de Pelegostos. [ Well. Chief, actually. An involuntary chief. But that's just splitting hairs. ] It's tragic, losing all that admiration and respect.

[tummyflowers]

Oh my God, it really is. You just get so used to being constantly adored. Not only is the sudden absence of it jarring, but it's really upsetting when you find out that all of it was just faked.

[Realizing he was never liked or even loved? That was far worse than the actual loss of power. And he will openly tell you about it because there is no filter.]

[drinkupmehearties]

[ Are you him?? The Pelegostos just wanted to eat him. That's not real love and adoration. That's just being hungry. ]

That's cruel of 'em. Must've been scoundrels, all of them. [ Clearly!

He lifts a finger. ] Though, all said -- perhaps it's to do with how you'd treated them? Being that the 'kind' moniker is ironic, like you've said. I've found most people don't have much respect for nasty or malicious rulers.

[tummyflowers]

Okay, Okay. I'll admit that I wasn't perhaps the nicest of rulers. I may have been a bit of a tyrant. But they were like that when I was a kid, too! And I was really nice as a child!

[It's just... a lifetime of being a king and then some kind of made him blind to things like consequences.]

[drinkupmehearties]

[ Even as a kid? Well, that's just mean. ]

Could be they just didn't like royalty, eh?

[tummyflowers]

No, that can't be right. People love royalty. No one would even have kings if they weren't so damned fond of them.

[drinkupmehearties]

Most don't have a choice in the matter, mate.

Take me, for instance. I'm utterly indifferent and-or otherwise squarely apathetic to the whole royalty business. Hell, don't even know the man's name. [ He does, it's George. ] And yet, I've a king. Had one since I was born. The same one, even, for most me life.

[tummyflowers]

Well... I'm sure as long as you're paying your taxes, all of that won't bother him that much.

[Richard would be horrified if he found out his people were like that. Or well, would have been if they hadn't gone entirely above and beyond all that and turned his kingdom into a democracy.]

[drinkupmehearties]

[ A democracy? My goodness, that is really going too far. ]

'Course I do. [ Yep. He's totally an honorable, law-abiding, tax-paying citizen. Not a lowlife thief at all. Who even said that. ] Point is, even being the upstanding, tax-paying gentleman that I am, that don't mean I'm fond of the man. Just cause a man's got royal blood in his veins doesn't mean that the admiration and respect is a given. It's got to be earned.

[tummyflowers]

Wow that is so... utterly backwards. It's the people that have to earn a king's love and support. I mean, that's royalty 101. If there was a handbook, that's what would be written on the back. And then there would be a really charming painting of me on the reverse side.

[drinkupmehearties]

[ There's a subtle shift in his expression, stifled amusement. Really. ]

You sure about that, mate? [ Is this how all kings think?? ]

No no, actually, hold up, I think I've heard it's the other way around [ his finger twirls to demonstrate ] -- kings've got to earn the people's admiration. Think I read that in a book once, penned by the illustrious King Alexander the Grand. Or Great. [ He swishes a hand. ] One of the two.

And with a name like that, you've got to trust what he says.

[tummyflowers]

Well he can't be that great or grand if you can't even remember his title, now can he?

[So there. How's that for logic.]