elnysa | 001: that time richard made a post on that network thing (video)

[On the feed appears a man! No, not a man, a king. And his username is real_life_actual_king, since that's kind of important. Although often an informal unit, Richard is decked out in the standard issue armor and helmet of the Royal Guard. It's polished to perfection. He clears his throat.]

Hello all, it's me. I'm Kind Richard with the disclaimer that the name is intentionally ironic. I've just returned from the beach, which was just fantastic. I had a great time, all around. Never did get to see that fighting pit I kept hearing about, but a really good time altogether. And how about that train, am I right? Talk about posh.

Anyway, I wanted to give people a bit of a heads up. I'm with the Royal Guard and by now, kind of a venerated veteran of sorts, I wanted to let people know that we are still recruiting. Mind you, I'm not doing the recruiting! This is more of an information awareness announcement, since you'll have to speak directly to the Commander. A tad inefficient on her part, I'll grant you, but delegation is not her strongest suit. But you tell them that your old pal Rick sent you and you'll be well on your way to making this city a better, safer place to live. Also, you'll get paid for it, so that's a nice little bonus as well. Once you're in, you can have a talk with me. I run the armory, so I'll get you hooked up with the same kind of trendy fashion you see on display right now.

Now, unrelated to this whole business of being a guard, I wanted to open the floor to people who may have had experiences like I have had. If you've recently loss your kingdom and seat of power and been reduced to living the life of a meaningless and inconsequential peasant, then you're talking to someone who's been there. It's not easy, believe me. I've gone through a number of musical numbers just trying to cope with it. But if you need someone to talk to, then I'm there for you. You don't have to suffer alone anymore.

I think that's about it. Now, how the hell do I stop this from recording? Is this it?

Ah, good. That was easier than I thought. I think I did pretty well with the whole psycho-therapeutic mentoring thing there at the end, eh Tad Cooper? Really inspired some hope in those poor hopeless sods. Hm? The light's still on? Oh hell.

Maybe if I just... and then... okay, I'll just-!

[And like that, the message ends. Finally.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

We were meant for much more than what we are here. People aren't meant to go from silk to what I can only presume is some sort of poly-blend. [ it. is. tragedy. ]

You know, I thought the same way, too. I was really down about losing Valencia to my ex-wife, so it really hit me hard when I got home to my own kingdom only to find out that they'd set up a republic in its place. But I stole some horses from them, set fire to their rec center, and decided that I needed to stop focusing on my kingdoms and focus on me. It was really liberating and gave me a whole new perspective on things. I'm going to go out and do big things and it won't be because I inherited a metal hat from some some other person who wore a metal hat all his life.

[Yeah... maybe he learned something. Maybe, just maybe, he's going to have HIS moment in the sun.]

[ who among us hasn't set a building on fire to soothe the rage within? everyone acts like Cheryl burning down Thornhill was soooooo unnecessary. It's nice to feel validated by someone else who has equal dramatic flair. ]

Focus on me. I like that. [ she says as if she hasn't spent the majority of her life focused on herself. ] Was it hard? Choosing to focus on you over everyone and everything else that demanded your attention?

Well, you know, it was made by a little easier by the fact everyone and everything that demanded my attention was ripped away from me and I was left with nothing but the bitter reality of loneliness and crippling depression. So... yeah, it was a pretty easy switch. I decided to join my new best friend in his quest to save his one true love, picked up a cool dragon along the way, and may have hit it off with childhood friend who may or may not be really into me.

[So... yeah, it kind of worked for him? A little? He's a better person, at least. He hasn't oppressed anyone in nearly a year!]

Oh, is that all? [ you're not really selling it, Richard. she's going for LESS bitter loneliness, not more! ]

I guess I'll have to find some away to occupy myself here. I'll probably pass on the dragon.

Probably for the best. Very high maintenance. But ah, have you found any work around here?

[She's maybe not guard material... but neither is he. So who knows?]

[ about that. ] I'm still waiting for the right opportunity. My skills are exceptional and I can't waste talent like mine on just any job.

[ besides, Peter is paying rent so what's there to stress about? ]

I'm sorry, do you mean to tell me you've been here this entire time and haven't been working?

[ she smiles wide. ] Not entirely - I did donate and help draw blood.

But other than that...

Wow, that's so... incredible. If I could have managed that, I would so be taking it easy right now. How did you pull that off? [Wait, did the blood really pay THAT much? Because he totally copped out on that...]

[ it is incredible, isn't it? she didn't even have to bully Peter! he just did it! she is smug. so very smug. ]

He saved my life and then I guess he wanted to keep making sure I'm okay. [ and she had told Peter that they were officially friends and she was in debt to him, so it's not like he had a choice to get rid of her. ]

Wow, that is so noble of him. [When Spider-Man saved Richard's life, he just kind of hung around awkwardly in his weird pajamas.] So you totally D-in-D'd him, eh? A classic, but obviously effective.

It is noble of him. He's very brave. A total geek, but brave. [ her brow furrows in confusion as she tries to figure out D-in-D. is it sexual? is it... ? ]

Damsel in Distress? Actually - yes.

See, that's really hard to pull off for me. At best, I'm a decent plucky sidekick. Definitely not damsel material, though.

[So... he has to work. Which is pretty unfortunate, though he obviously is taking pride in it. He wouldn't have gone on that whole spiel if he wasn't getting some sense of worth from it.]

I'm truly lucky, I know. But you never know what kind of luck might come your way. And the Royal Guard? That's very brave. Perhaps you'll sweep a damsel off her feet. [ see, Cheryl can be positive. ]

Maybe... [Warily. His success rate with women has been... not good.] I'm not entirely sure I can afford one.

[Not if she's like Cheryl, anyway!]

Perhaps she'll owe you a debt. If you save her life, that is.

[ yes, Cheryls are kind of expensive but they do make good company as long as they are not berating you for some reason. ]

Well, if we're being entirely honest, I've got a girl of my own. She's just ah, on ice. And we sort of left off in an awkward place, so...

[She's probably the only woman who will ever want to be with Richard. So going off to rescue damsels probably isn't the best thing for him right now.]

The course of true love never did run smooth. Maybe this is your second chance. [ or third or forth, whatever. ]

Is this 'geek' your true love? [Since she seems to be pretty on top of this true love business.]

What?? No! [ at least she doesn't think so. ] We're just friends. He's just Peter.

Wait? Does he know that?

[Because speaking as someone who came from a completely loveless marriage where his wife only married him for power, he'd hate to think Cheryl was doing that to someone else!]

Yeah. I'm not even sure he likes girls.[ at first she thought Peter was awkward around her because she's pretty, but then she realized he's awkward because he's awkward. ]

Ohhh, I understand. The gentleman sort, hm? [He taps his nose knowingly.] Well, that makes it all the nobler of him, eh?

001: that time richard made a post on that network thing (video)

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