Text -|- un: nunya

[assholic]

Looking for work.

Previous Experience: phone operator, temporary office assistant, fast food worker, college bartender, sandwich board holder, private investigator, professional asshole.

Skills: owns own camera, capable of tolerating other assholes, not too up my own ass to do dirty work.

Special Skills: Specifics given upon request if I damn well feel like it.

Contact with offers. Anything related to strip clubs will result in learning how quickly I can track you down and hurt you with my special skills.

Comments

[learned_to_die]

I FEAR I MAY REGRET ASKING THIS, BUT WHAT IS THIS 'DADSLOCK' YOU'VE TAKEN TO CALLING ME?

AND AYE, I'LL DO MY BEST. FOR YOUR SAKE, MY SAKE, AND THAT OF MY CHILDREN. I DOUBT ANY OF US WOULD APPRECIATE ME FALLING TO PIECES.

Would you like to tag into my open log and have them meet up in Olympia?

[assholic]

The capslock. YOU WRITING IN ALL CAPS. It's a very 'dad' move. Dadslock.

SORRY FOR MASSIVE DELAY. yes this works!

[learned_to_die]

ARE FATHERS NORMALLY AGGRESSIVE? I'VE BEEN TOLD BY A FEW THAT THIS COMES ACROSS AS HOSTILE.

No worries =) Just let me know if you'd like to start in there or if I should =)

[assholic]

For people used to texting or 'ye olde conversing' like this, typing in capslock is the equivalent of screaming. We use it for showing we're angry or excited about something. So you come off as either really mad or really exuberant. Or as a dad. Because dads don't always have a handle on newfangled tech.

you could, since i'm moving at a glacial pace as it is!

[learned_to_die]

THAT IS ACCURATE, IS IT NOT? I AM A FATHER, MANY TIMES OVER.

https://nysalogs.dreamwidth.org/84101.html?thread=22254469#cmt22254469 (at your leisure)

[assholic]

Are you bragging? So much a dad? That's kind of cute.

[learned_to_die]

NOT BRAGGING; MOSTLY STATING FACT. I HAVE SIX CHILDREN.

[assholic]

You might want to look into stopping with the whole building your own baseball team.

[learned_to_die]

WHAT IS A BASEBALL TEAM?

[assholic]

Yeah, that's going to require a face to face, Neddy.

[learned_to_die]

IS IT SOMETHING NEGATIVE?

[assholic]

No. It's a game. But it needs explaining.

[learned_to_die]

A GAME. CALLED BASEBALL? THE BALL ASPECT IS EASY ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT, BUT A BASE?

[assholic]

Apparently we were really creative when coming up with our favorite pastimes. Baseball. Basketball. Football. Woo.

Bases are little pads placed around a field and there's batters and a ball and runners. Four bases. First. Second. Third. And home, which is where you start.

[learned_to_die]

AND THIS IS A GAME PEOPLE ENJOY? IS IT A SPECTATOR SPORT LIKE A JOUSTING TOURNEY?

[assholic]

Very much so. Thousands of people go to a game. And yes. Like jousting. With less death and swords and horses.

[learned_to_die]

I WAS NEVER PARTICULARLY FOND OF TOURNEYS, TO BE QUITE HONEST. IT SEEMED LIKE POINTLESS VIOLENCE THAT ACHIEVED NO GOAL BUT INJURY AND DEATH.

THIS BASEBALL YOU SPEAK OF SOUNDS MORE PROMISING, ESPECIALLY IF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ATTEND A MATCH AT A TIME.

[assholic]

Baseball's one of the lesser aggressive ones. Football's the real draw for spectators, and it's a bit more of a contact sport. Guess that bloodthirsty part of us is still there.

[learned_to_die]

PERHAPS I WILL SEE IF I CAN VIEW A VARIETY OF YOUR DIFFERENT SPORTING EVENTS.

[assholic]

If we get back up to the big space ball in the sky, I'll show you a few on the vid system.

[learned_to_die]

I WOULD APPRECIATE THAT, THANK YOU.

[assholic]

I have a feeling you'd like it. Betting on you being a basketball man.

[learned_to_die]

WHY IS THAT?

[assholic]

Less violent. More compact area of play so you can see better. Though, you might like soccer.

[learned_to_die]

I WILL GIVE ALL OF THEM A FAIR CHANCE.