Text -|- un: nunya

[assholic]

Looking for work.

Previous Experience: phone operator, temporary office assistant, fast food worker, college bartender, sandwich board holder, private investigator, professional asshole.

Skills: owns own camera, capable of tolerating other assholes, not too up my own ass to do dirty work.

Special Skills: Specifics given upon request if I damn well feel like it.

Contact with offers. Anything related to strip clubs will result in learning how quickly I can track you down and hurt you with my special skills.

Comments

[shashka]

A tiny Dictator? Sounds like you're not so far off from 1984 yourself. Does he make people call them "Big Brother"?

Was it the Soviet Union causing "problems" for the Americans? Raegan always liked calling us an "evil empire".

[ he knows it goes back to "Russia" at some point, just not when. might as well learn more about global affairs. ]

[assholic]

Soviet Union's dead, buddy. It's just Russia now. But the dictator's from North Korea and he's a tiny little prick who likes to test missiles and trade insults with Trump. Russia just supposedly put Trump in the Oval Office. Both losses.

[shashka]

Figured it wouldn't last much longer, what with the disaster Afghanistan's been so far. Though I'm surprised North Korea could do much damage without any aid coming from us. But I can't say I'd be surprised if Russia was involved. We always did like meddling, but then again, so did the US.

[ he says like he isn't a Russian who is constantly meddling in all sorts of global affairs. ]

And Trump? The only "Trump" I've heard of is some so-called real estate mogul. American capitalism at its "finest".

[assholic]

Let's just say the world went to shit. Yes, that Trump. A self professed pussy grabber who makes everything with the aforementioned body part cringe just by being in his vicinity. That's the current President. The world is a joke.

[shashka]

"Was" a joke. It's all gone now,
remember.

[ of course, that does beg a few questions. did they succeed in taking down Cipher. was something bigger still manipulating things behind the scenes?

he knows if he were still alive then, he'd be well over seventy. but then again, he'd never been one for retirement. ]

Oh, don't feel too bad. It's just a continuation of fine American tradition. From an actor to a sleazy real estate agent. The anti-American propaganda practically writes itself.

[ to say nothing of the Soviets and their own problems. ]

[assholic]

True. I guess Trump being toast is the bonus of the world being destroyed. Small miracles.

[shashka]

Well, he might be up there in stasis.

[assholic]

I will find you and hurt you if you keep being a dick.

[shashka]

My apologies. But, I am a Russian, after all. Misery is practically wired into all of us from birth.

[assholic]

And I'm an American. Punching people is genetic.

[shashka]

Fair enough.

[assholic]

You been up top lately?

[shashka]

You mean to the Station?

Whenever I have the time, I guess.

[ that's a lie. he's up there nearly every day. ]

[assholic]

Anything out of the ordinary going on? In a mind control kind of way?

[shashka]

Not that I know of.

But then again, someone might be controlling me and telling me to say that.

[ never let it be said that he wasn't a real ass deep down. ]

[assholic]

Everyone makes a joke until it's not funny anymore.

[shashka]

Isn't that the point of jokes? If misery is inevitable, why not try and enjoy life while you can?

[assholic]

I'm not too big on enjoying life.

[shashka]

That so?

[assholic]

I prefer realism. Realism doesn't have room for just randomly enjoying 'life'.

[shashka]

Depends on how you look at things. Life is miserable, for the most part, but it's the little things that you can find some happiness in.

[ such as taking revenge on your enemies. you know, that sort of thing. ]

[assholic]

I aim for not feeling utterly miserable. Alcohol's a good numbing agent. That way, I'm not disappointed.

[shashka]

Sounds like you might've been a Russian in a past life.

[assholic]

Nope. Just a New Yorker.