Text -|- un: nunya

[assholic]

Looking for work.

Previous Experience: phone operator, temporary office assistant, fast food worker, college bartender, sandwich board holder, private investigator, professional asshole.

Skills: owns own camera, capable of tolerating other assholes, not too up my own ass to do dirty work.

Special Skills: Specifics given upon request if I damn well feel like it.

Contact with offers. Anything related to strip clubs will result in learning how quickly I can track you down and hurt you with my special skills.

Comments

[assholic]

[That got a short, bitter laugh she bit off.]

I'm not involved in anything that requires 'steps', buddy.

[Said the alcoholic.]

[bentbloodline]

Duly noted. Since you mentioned having bartender experience, there are a number of bars in Wyver. The clientele seems a bit...lively, but if you have special skills that are good for hurting people who get out of hand, you might find some work there.

[assholic]

[He was sort of speaking her language, but college-Jessica and bitter, salty 34 year old Jessica were two different creatures. She'd been able to flirt, be funny and sarcastic, serve drinks and only throw a few in the faces of people who stepped over the line. Now? She'd probably drink half the stock, if not more, and tell people to get their own damn drinks. Don't tempt her to get black-listed from all the bars, Tarrlok.]

As part of the clientele, I don't think that'd be a good idea, but maybe I could look into bouncer work.

[bentbloodline]

Ah, you don't want to mix business and pleasure. Fair enough.

[He's not going to push too much. Right now, he's just offering suggestions.]

There are a few legal fighting rings in Wyver, with Falmi's Ring being the oldest and best known. Perhaps that might be more to your liking.

[assholic]

I've seen some of them. Went in a couple last week. Let's just say for my roommate's peace of mind, I shouldn't do that anymore.

Well... not every day. Does make some good money, though. And they do like to judge a book by its cover.

[bentbloodline]

Ah, I see. Best to stick to bouncer work if you're going to work at a bar or any other establishment, then.

[He'd suggest being a bouncer at a strip club if only because she could go backstage and keep any particularly determined creeps away from the dancers, but he'll leave the 'other establishments' open-ended.]

Oh? Are you on the smaller side then, miss?

[assholic]

[She wouldn't be against it. And anyone deciding that she'd be better taking her clothes off than keeping an eye on the girls that did, well, maybe it'd be her pleasure making them eat their suggestions. And their teeth.

The question had her smirking, one she hid behind her beer because yes, she was having this conversation in a pub as she waited to go home for dinner.]

Some might try to say that. I think the glare makes me look bigger.

[bentbloodline]

You might as well use it to your advantage, then. Perhaps buy yourself a somewhat dainty outfit to wear into the ring just to capitalize on people's preconceptions.

[He's kind of amused, if only because he knows better than to judge someone based on appearances. There were plenty of people who would never believe that a politician like him who preferred to dress formally would be a capable combatant and counter-terrorism leader.]

[assholic]

Ugh. You sound like someone I know. No outfits. Dainty gets ripped in ways that I don't want to risk in a ring with some testosterone overloaded roid-junkie. Some of them like getting in the ring with a woman a little too much already. I enjoy making them regret it.

[bentbloodline]

I hope I'll have the chance to watch one of your matches one day. Especially if you're up against someone underestimating you. I imagine you could make it quite an educational fight for your opponent. Provided he was conscious by the end of it.

[assholic]

They generally aren't.

[More smug smiles. But it wasn't like she hadn't had her ass handed to her a couple times either. She still had the sore ribs to prove it. Now, all she needed was for someone to actually teach her how to fight and not just... Jessica-smash, and maybe she'd be a force to be reckoned with.]

I'll put you on my ping list next time I feel like working off some steam.

[bentbloodline]

I'll look forward to it, miss. Perhaps I can convince some people to bet against you and make us both a little extra money.

[assholic]

Jones. Jessica Jones. I'm not much of a 'miss'. But I like your thinking. I don't mind using someone's preconceived notions against themselves.

[bentbloodline]

Noted, Jessica. I'm Tarrlok. Using people's preconceived notions against them is a useful strategy. And an educational one, for those clever enough to learn from their mistakes.

[assholic]

You're assuming someone idiotic enough to make an assumption like that is capable of learning.

[bentbloodline]

My mistake. I suppose I'm just optimistic like that.

[assholic]

Optimism will always screw you in the end. I'm a realist.

[bentbloodline]

Ah, but will it be courteous enough to buy me dinner first?

[assholic]

Of course not. It's optimistic you'll find something somewhere else.

[bentbloodline]

Oh, optimism. Breaking my poor, fragile heart.

[He may not be nearly as prone to swearing as Jessica, but sarcasm? He's fluent in that.]

[assholic]

[It's a dialect that's familiar across universes, and she almost feels happy to hear someone else using it so fluently.]

Hey, realism will at least get you what you can pay for with what's in your pockets.

[bentbloodline]

Very true. Personally, I've been sticking to odd jobs in both communities. I want to research the laws of each land before deciding for sure where I want to settle.

[He's also not much more inclined to blindly trust than Jessica is, even if he's much more diplomatic and subtle about that distrust.]

[assholic]

I'm not looking to make a career or anything yet. I'm still waiting to find out this is a fucked up coma dream. But until then, I might as well find something that'll keep me in booze and regret.

[bentbloodline]

And hopefully provide you some food and shelter once you've taken care of the important things.

[assholic]

That seems to have provided itself. See? Go realism.