hjack69: (let's go predator on dis bitch)
god-king of shitposting ([personal profile] hjack69) wrote in [community profile] elnysa2017-12-05 09:05 pm

text; un: hjack420blayz

WANTED:
One ( 1 ) to five ( 5 ) hired professionals willing to traverse the wilds of Olympia to gather samples of native flora and fauna. Ideal candidates will have trained in one or more fields of combat; specifics cannot be given due to the unknown and highly unpredictable nature of the Olympia wilderness.

I will be personally leading a highly-trained team of my own to ensure your safety.
PAYMENT
Any one ( 1 ) of the following:

- An amount of currency to be agreed upon before departure.
- A cut of any profits made from the samples.
- A favor from our incredibly talented, remarkably intelligent, and unbelievably good-looking engineer.
- My personal gratitude. (The most valuable option tbh.)


Contact if interested.
Handsome Jack and associates are not responsible for any gutting, burning, maiming, stabbing, devouring, electrocuting, exploding, flaying, defenestrating, or any and all loss of life or limb associated with temporary employees i.e. 'mercenaries'. Temporary employees are not entitled to healthcare options or insurance. Temporary employees and their families are not entitled to any form of compensation in the event of death or maiming i.e. "life insurance". In the event of a mutiny or other attempt to subvert the chain of command, or any attempt to rob, kill, or otherwise harm the team, Handsome Jack and associates reserve the right to execute the offending parties in an only moderately excruciating manner.
punshots: (✘ cooltone.)

text / un: chocobro

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
does anyone actually read the fine print

[ ...He didn't. ]
punshots: (✘ palette.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
thats what i always say!
if it was important itd be like
big bold letters all up in your face

anyway i like money!
not so sure on joining up yet tho
whos this engineer you mentioned anyway
punshots: (✘ grit.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
you had me a guns
robots pretty sweet too tho dude
riddle me this my friend
could you build a gun that shoots guns
and then those guns also shoot more tinier guns
punshots: (✘ displacement.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
damn
that sounds pretty badass tbh
i mean not as cool as some of my guns back home but
eh im gonna have to think about it
punshots: (✘ rise.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-08 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
you got it dude
if you dont fill up with volunteers in the meantime anyway!!!
r3f4c70r3d: (07)

text: UN: ANONYMOUS PRIVACY LEVEL: EXTREMELY

[personal profile] r3f4c70r3d 2017-12-07 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
This venture is not worth the silver it might net you. Trust me.

[ Damage control time. If she's lucky she can convince everyone showing interest in Jack's call to arms to turn away and never ever look back. But friends come first. ]
punshots: (✘ warmtone.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 06:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ Okay, this is...unexpected. ]

what
whys that?
this guy even has fine print
thats pretty legit
r3f4c70r3d: (pic#11535149)

[personal profile] r3f4c70r3d 2017-12-07 06:25 am (UTC)(link)
Fine print that only applies if you make it out of this alive and 'this guy' will be making serious attempts to prevent that.
punshots: (✘ focal.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 06:32 am (UTC)(link)
wait what???
you think hes gonna try and kill us?
r3f4c70r3d: (pic#11539029)

[personal profile] r3f4c70r3d 2017-12-07 06:34 am (UTC)(link)
I know he will. Do not let on that I am telling you this information, but please decline the job offer.
punshots: (✘ x pro ii.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 06:55 am (UTC)(link)
yeah you got it anon
your secret is safe with me
you telling other people this too?
r3f4c70r3d: (pic#11734713)

[personal profile] r3f4c70r3d 2017-12-07 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
You are the first, but I'm glad I was able to convince you. It gives me some hope for the others.
punshots: (✘ gradient.)

[personal profile] punshots 2017-12-07 07:09 am (UTC)(link)
hey yeah i mean
i can pick up a few silver anywhere but you only get one life right?
better to play it safe anyway
thanks for the helping hand :)