One ( 1 ) to five ( 5 ) hired professionals willing to traverse the wilds of Olympia to gather samples of native flora and fauna. Ideal candidates will have trained in one or more fields of combat; specifics cannot be given due to the unknown and highly unpredictable nature of the Olympia wilderness.
I will be personally leading a highly-trained team of my own to ensure your safety.
PAYMENT
Any one ( 1 ) of the following:
- An amount of currency to be agreed upon before departure. - A cut of any profits made from the samples. - A favor from our incredibly talented, remarkably intelligent, and unbelievably good-looking engineer. - My personal gratitude. (The most valuable option tbh.)
Contact if interested.
Handsome Jack and associates are not responsible for any gutting, burning, maiming, stabbing, devouring, electrocuting, exploding, flaying, defenestrating, or any and all loss of life or limb associated with temporary employees i.e. 'mercenaries'. Temporary employees are not entitled to healthcare options or insurance. Temporary employees and their families are not entitled to any form of compensation in the event of death or maiming i.e. "life insurance". In the event of a mutiny or other attempt to subvert the chain of command, or any attempt to rob, kill, or otherwise harm the team, Handsome Jack and associates reserve the right to execute the offending parties in an only moderately excruciating manner.
Well, I can't go into exact details, but I'm actually using the samples (heretofor referred to as "materials") in the development of useful products for commercial sale.
[ It's supposed to be confusing as fuck, so Lancer's probably in the same boat as everyone else. ]
It's kind of like - do they have soap where you're from?
It's like I'm going to use this stuff to make soap. Only it's not soap.
If that whole last part was supposed to mean anything, you lost me.
The first part sounds straightforward to me. Why can't you do it yourself if you've got your own team? Sounds like you're overcomplicating things. Not that I ain't still in if you've got a spot for me.
My team isn't suited for combat or collection duties. They're mostly here to make sure I stay alive, and I'm generous enough to loan them out to anybody who comes with.
Don't worry about me. You can keep them. And I'll stick with the half first, half when the job's done...the other options sound like a pain. Money's easy to understand.
[He's pretty far outside of town right now, but he's good at covering ground fast. It still takes him almost the entire two hours to make it there, and he probably wouldn't have if he'd been human. When he swings the door open at last, he definitely looks like a guy who just spent a couple of hours traveling through the woods. There are probably a couple of stray sticks and leaves in his hair and boots. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Speaking of which, he just bellows out:]
Anyone seen a Handsome—
[—and then at that moment, realizes that the guy from that photo earlier is sitting right there. Nice. He cuts off with a wave of his hand.]
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Yeah, check it.
[ Insert a picture of Jack outside a brothel, making this face next to some CHOICE BOOTIES. Because he's classy like that. ]
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I assumed she'd be a woman! Not that it makes much difference. I don't have any use for an engineer anyway.
[He was just curious about any lovely engineers he might happen to get to know during this venture.]
Currency's fine. And I'm not gonna need any of that stuff in the disclaimer anyway, so don't worry. Anything mauls me, that's on me.
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[ sorry Rosalind but is it even untrue. ]
Annnnnd great! I pay half upfront, half after the job's done, or a portion of total proceeds divided between all contributing parties.
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[Wrapping his head around finances is not his strong point. He rereads the whole last part of that text a few times.]
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[ It's supposed to be confusing as fuck, so Lancer's probably in the same boat as everyone else. ]
It's kind of like - do they have soap where you're from?
It's like I'm going to use this stuff to make soap. Only it's not soap.
[ ??? ]
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The first part sounds straightforward to me. Why can't you do it yourself if you've got your own team? Sounds like you're overcomplicating things. Not that I ain't still in if you've got a spot for me.
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[ Insert name of a relatively well-known Wyver bar! ]
Swing by later today and you can pick up your first payment. I'll be here another couple of hours.
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[He's pretty far outside of town right now, but he's good at covering ground fast. It still takes him almost the entire two hours to make it there, and he probably wouldn't have if he'd been human. When he swings the door open at last, he definitely looks like a guy who just spent a couple of hours traveling through the woods. There are probably a couple of stray sticks and leaves in his hair and boots. You gotta do what you gotta do.
Speaking of which, he just bellows out:]
Anyone seen a Handsome—
[—and then at that moment, realizes that the guy from that photo earlier is sitting right there. Nice. He cuts off with a wave of his hand.]
Found him! Thanks.