video; un: ironborn

[reek]

I’ll not congratulate anyone for the beginnings of this cure.

[ Oh, look, it's that guy who pisses everyone off. The corner of his mouth quirks into a cruel smirk, but his teeth are clenched too tightly and his eyes burn too fiercely for any proper smile. It’s a struggle for him to remain as guarded as he would prefer, and there are cracks in his armor: he’s clearly angry and upset. ]

My sister was among the ill. Was. I have been informed that she has since returned to the pods—still uncured.

[ He tries to keep his tone even and cold, void of emotion, but his voice breaks ever so slightly. He and Asha weren’t close, not like he’s known siblings should be, but it’s a deep cut to be abandoned again, and it hurts to know that one of the few people he felt he could trust in this place is gone. Clearing his throat, he continues.]

Which leads me to the question at hand. What reason do I, or the worried, or any of the ailing, have to trust the maesters here? Healers--whatever name you may know them by. Months, this has gone on, to the point where someone is gone and remains unhealed.

[ He knows better than to critique those who have done nothing but help, but his anger is directionless otherwise, so he chuckles cruelly, and that cheshire smirk widens. ]

They’ve been all but useless.

Comments

[nineteenfortyfive]

You're such a child. I hope your sister would be ashamed, you throwing another one of your little fits instead of doing anything of worth.

[Theon, a brat? Who would have thought.]

[reek]

You might have asked her yourself, if she hadn't left.

[ Asha could have told you for days what a brat her baby brother is. ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

But she did. And now it's just you, isn't it? You, the Starks--whoever else will tolerate your shitty attitude.

[Poor them.]

[reek]

Is that meant to wound me?

[ It kind of does. ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

[Maybe. She might feel bad in an hour or two when she's done being pissed off, realizing he's a young man that's likely frightened and feeling alone, but that's not now.]

I'm sure it won't. Nothing can dampen that fire of yours.

[reek]

[ That conversation with "Willem" might say otherwise. He isn't quite so argumentative there, which may be perceived as a bit strange.

Or maybe he's just losing steam by this point. You never know with Theon. He's an odd one. ]

Lucky for you.

[nineteenfortyfive]

[Talking to Willem helped Claire, in a way. He was rather level-headed about all this Theon bullshit even if it is infuriating.]

Lucky for me.

Be better than this, Theon.

[reek]

[ Theon has an odd relationship with "Willem of the Riverlands". He's one of the few people who knows who the man actually is, what he's actually capable of, has seen it firsthand, and has been victim to it. But Theon is easy to manipulate, particularly as paranoid as he's been for the last few months, and for as much as he hates him, he's been led to believe that Ramsay is the only person not lying to him.

Really, he's been quite blunt about everything. It's almost refreshing. ]

I'm not better than this.

[nineteenfortyfive]

[Not with that attitude.]

You had to have known you wouldn't get any other sort of response but this. You're an arse, but I don't think you're stupid.

[reek]

[ He was looking for a fight to burn off some of his anger, and he got...well, he got more a bit more fight than he expected.

He merely rolls a shoulder in a shrug. ]

They can trust blindly if they please, then.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Some of us have been fixing people since we fell from the sky. It's not blind trust.

[Not that she thinks she can change his mind.]

[reek]

[ He sighs, a sign that he may be growing weary of all of this. He clenches his jaw, though. He stubbornly refuses to give in. ]

This is different.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Because it's people you care about?

[She's still pissed, but she's trying.]

[reek]

No.

[ Because there's no one left who he can trust. Asha was his last lifeline. Robb will never forgive him, and Sansa and Jon lie to him (or so a Certain Someone has manipulated him into believing). He may as well be a grain of sand to his uncle, merely the insignificant and forgotten son of Balon who was sent North so many years ago. The other Westerosi are strangers to him, or he is Theon Turncloak to them, and everyone else from their strange worlds—how is he meant to trust them when he’s already been manipulated and lied by people he’s known for half his life? Nothing makes sense, and it constantly feels as though his own memories are betraying him. Asha’s presence kept him grounded.

But that’s information he can’t share, because he’s a stubborn idiot. He's just an idiot in general, really. ]

It--this--this is not an illness of your world.

[nineteenfortyfive]

No, but that doesn't change my desire to help, or the responsibility I have to the people here. I'm a healer. I have been doing all I can.

[Keeping the fevers down and the patients from crawling up the walls has, somehow, been the easiest part of it. The healthy loved ones? Well, they're something else. They're the ones with the tempers and the anger and the fear. Theon just doesn't have much a filter, it seems.]

I can't promise that everything will be all right. No one can without telling a lie. But I can swear to you that everything possible is being done to make a difference here.

[reek]

[ He's always been brash and loud, reeling himself in only for the Northern Lords who he was expected to behave respectfully around. But he has no warden here, so he's more flippant with his speech. He reigns himself in around the Starks out of habit, around his uncle out of desperation for acceptance, and around Ramsay out of fear. For everyone else, it's mockery, cutting remarks, cruelty, and disrespect.

He shakes his head. ]

And still, she may not wake from stasis again.

[ The first hint he's given that this isn't really about the cure at all. ]

private

[nineteenfortyfive]

[Claire catches that. She's quiet for a moment, then does them both a favor and switches the feed to private.]

No, and I am sorry for that. No one can give us any reassurances when it comes to those pods. My boy is up there. And yet as much as I'd like him here with me, sometimes I wonder if it's perhaps not a... blessing in disguise, that he doesn't have to deal with any of the fear and uncertainty down here. Your sister is safe. It's not enough, but it has to be for now.

private

[reek]

[ He shoots her a glare, but it's not terribly harsh. He isn't certain if he's grateful or offended for the private feed. He's a ridiculously proud man, but he's stubborn. Oftentimes, those two qualities can clash with one another. ]

What the others recall of home doesn't fit what I recall.

[ He betrays himself by letting that much slip, and he clenches his teeth to stop himself from going into too much detail. ]

She was the only one who remembered it as I did.

[ But now he wonders if she wasn't lying to put him at ease. Why should he and Asha be the only ones who remember differently? The odds are stacked against them, and Ramsay had told him that he was driven mad with grief and guilt over the things he'd done. It makes sense for his memories to betray him, after all he's been told. ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

[Perhaps the trick to dealing with Theon is to ignore the looks he gives entirely. That said, Claire frowns, though it's more at his words than anything else.]

My husband doesn't remember what I recall, either. He's several years behind. [So, she can sympathize with that feeling. She's told Jamie what she could, after some debate, but it's still not the same as someone remembering the things you went through together. It still feels off. It's a lonely feeling.]

Do your friends treat you differently because you're not on the same page?

[reek]

No, it isn’t age, it’s—

[ He falters. He can come to grips with the years between himself and the Starks, but all of his memories being torn to shreds is another story. He can’t trust himself, and he can’t trust anyone else. Blinking, he stops himself from going any further. ]

It’s nothing. They treat me no differently than they should.

[ He wishes it weren’t a lie. Robb is the only one who treats him no differently than he should, but Sansa is grateful to him for something he doesn't believe he's done, and Jon claims to want to accept and forgive him--all while accusing him of killing people he swears he's never killed. It’s all very strange. ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

It's memory. Important things that happened. The truth of things. [... which Claire hasn't entirely told Jamie, but she's hoping that he'll one day understand. She could be wrong when it comes to Theon, but she has to at least try. She can be angry and frustrated, want to throttle the young man, but she'd be more upset if she simply shut the door on someone who is suffering.

Of course, she knows better than to say that much.]

I do understand that much, Theon.

[reek]

It is nothing.

[ He repeats the sentiment more firmly, as though trying to force himself to believe it. It isn’t nothing. It’s something that’s driving him half mad to the point where he’s fallen back into the trap of trusting someone who he logically knows he shouldn’t trust.

He can’t take back that he’s already said it, though, so it very obviously is not nothing. ]

There is nothing to understand.

[nineteenfortyfive]

It's not nothing. [But she's not going to fight him for it. Some people need space, and some people need a kick to the ass like a mule. She's inclined to believe Theon is the latter, but you never know--and she doubts she'd get anywhere right now. All she can do is offer.]

You can talk to me, Theon. This isn't an easy time for anyone. You, especially.

[reek]

I'm certain I'm more than capable of talking to you, but I’ve nothing to say.

[ He knows he should let someone in, but it’s not an easy feat. It never has been for him. ]

[nineteenfortyfive]

Should you have something to say, then, you know where I tend to be. And how to use this thing.

[Communication from the comfort of your own wherever.]

I mean it. I am capable of having a conversation without losing my temper.

[Which means maybe she feels a little bad for earlier, but not that much. He started it.]