text | un: rjlupin

[xxxxx]

A few of us have been talking and we're already tired of being broke, so we're wondering what everyone hopes to do here job-wise, what you did before, and how you go about explaining it to the locals if they want to know about your previous floor-sweeping or shelf-stocking experience before allowing you to sweep any floors or stock any shelves. Especially if your job back home was a little more complicated than that.

And have any of them asked any of you for references? Do they actually check them?

Does anybody have any experience with making up false references wholecloth? Can we begin acting as one another’s references?--which is a terribly trust based suggestion, we realise, and so the following question,

Should we design a character test for the sake of honest false reference corroboration? (‘We’ is the general ‘we’ not the ‘we’ asking these questions.) Is there anyone here who is not a reliable hard worker that the rest of us should be sure not to refer for anything?

Before anyone feels the need to point out that unreliable lazy workers will lie: yes, thank you, please see similar discussions following the questions about murder.

[ For the record, this is the product of a phone and its tiny keyboard being passed around among several different curious people. Remus just drew the short straw, because there is no justice in any world, and has to post it. Also, threadjacking super encouraged if you feel the urge. ]

Comments

[stabilis]

Fair to middling character. Got it.

And I could share my reference, but she might not have very nice things to say about a bunch of randoms. No offense. That said, her character might be middling enough for her to vouch for one or two of you as long as you promise not to commit any murder on the job.

Unless murder's in the job description, in which case it should at least be satisfactory murder. You know,
'exceeds expectations' material.

[barreling]

please, I always exceed expectations

[ ...by making sure the bar's so low it's practically underground, but job interview lesson #1 is not mentioning things like that ]

what kind of job are you planning to use your fair to middling reference to get? bounty hunter's got to be pretty universal, right?

[stabilis]

Promises, promises.

[ It's a solid tactic, tho. ]

That's the idea. Although a straight up 'bounty hunter' is a little gauche. I'm a Killjoy, I like to operate with a bit more finesse. What about you? Let me guess, NOT sweeping floors and stocking shelves?

[barreling]

A killjoy, that's seriously your title? Do you specialize in rounding up people who are too fun at parties because if so I'm going to have to back away slowly

I've done my time in retail hell, but bounty hunter of sorts is actually pretty close lately

[stabilis]

Only if I'm getting paid for it. Jobs are usually more along the lines of retrieval and escort.

What's the "of sorts" part?

[barreling]

Let's just say I specialize in tracking and handling certain types of threats

[stabilis]

That's almost as melodramatic as it is vague. "Certain types of threats"? Should I start guessing, or?

[barreling]

I have a very particular set of skills.

[ is she doing a Liam Neeson impression at her phone? Maybe. eh, whatever. ]

it's demons. I hunt demons

[stabilis]

[ why don't they have Taken in space, tho ]

Like demons

Real demons or metaphorical demons?

id: killjoy

[motivation]

the actual title is Reclamation Agent, if you must know

[barreling]

Catchy

So are you his boss?

[motivation]

partner-boss, but yeah

[barreling]

cool guess we know your policies on fraternization then
so are you hiring?

[motivation]

depends. what are your qualifications?

[ she's not hiring because she doesn't actually have a job herself. she's also not sleeping with johnny, but — she kinda really, really can't argue the fraternisation bit regardless, because she may not be sleeping with johnny, but she sure did sleep with his big brother, and d'avin is part of the team as well. ]

id: killjoy

[motivation]

who said anything about sharing, now, sugarpants?

and wow
"middling"

[ she's hurt. really. very. definitely. ]

we can't all be captain apex, you know

[stabilis]

I had no idea you were so big on monogamy. My bad.

[ """"sharing""" ]

And hey, even Captain Apex tells white lies. You know, for the greater good.

[motivation]

i've done my night of monogamy [ and the only reason she's comfortable saying as much on an open network is that johnny's the only one who'll get that she's talking about her wedding night. ]

but if anyone gets to volunteer anyone, it should be the other way round

[ "captain apex also hangs out with an awful lot of princesses", dutch almost writes, but — pawter was a princess. too soon, maybe? ] whose definition of the greater good are we talking here?

[stabilis]

I've heard it's overrated, anyway.

[ If they weren't in similarly tragic boats, he'd be less inclined to joke. As is, at least they're on the same bitter page. ]

And hey, I'll volunteer myself. Although I'm not totally clear on the 'greater good' in question. Might be an easier sell if murder wasn't the great unifier in this group.

Better argument: if one of us gets outed, the rest of us are at risk.

[motivation]

[ besties united by bitterness. there are worse unifiers, but dutch wishes johnny could still be sunshine and candy and ponies, the way he once was. ]

says captain apex? stop the press

[ but yeah, he has a point there. and she's mostly just giving him shit because it's fun, not because she's actually adverse to lying to give out references. ] i could take that chance
but maybe i'll stoop to one or two references after all

[stabilis]

One of those better be for me.

[ He says, as if he'll try to get reputable work. ]

So what's our cover story? Mercs? Pirates? Pirates with a sense of hygiene.

[motivation]

like i'd let you work some shit job without me if i can help it

[ package deal, right? ]

no one will believe you're a pirate, your teeth are too straight

[stabilis]

Are you saying I'm too pretty to be a pirate?

[ <3 :) ]

And in retrospect "pirate" might not get a lot of sane job offers. Not that sane's a requirement, historically speaking.

[barreling]

Hey, no murder here. Everyone I shoot's already dead

[stabilis]

No offense intended. Was kind of referring to the murderous masses.

[ See: the last week or two on the network. ]

How dead, though? Like spiritually and intellectually or physically without a pulse?

[barreling]

I've never really whipped out the stethoscope but definitely spiritually
And probably intellectually but I don't think they were exactly mensa candidates before they died so not sure we can blame hell for that