text | un: rjlupin

[xxxxx]

A few of us have been talking and we're already tired of being broke, so we're wondering what everyone hopes to do here job-wise, what you did before, and how you go about explaining it to the locals if they want to know about your previous floor-sweeping or shelf-stocking experience before allowing you to sweep any floors or stock any shelves. Especially if your job back home was a little more complicated than that.

And have any of them asked any of you for references? Do they actually check them?

Does anybody have any experience with making up false references wholecloth? Can we begin acting as one another’s references?--which is a terribly trust based suggestion, we realise, and so the following question,

Should we design a character test for the sake of honest false reference corroboration? (‘We’ is the general ‘we’ not the ‘we’ asking these questions.) Is there anyone here who is not a reliable hard worker that the rest of us should be sure not to refer for anything?

Before anyone feels the need to point out that unreliable lazy workers will lie: yes, thank you, please see similar discussions following the questions about murder.

[ For the record, this is the product of a phone and its tiny keyboard being passed around among several different curious people. Remus just drew the short straw, because there is no justice in any world, and has to post it. Also, threadjacking super encouraged if you feel the urge. ]

Comments

[stabilis]

Promises, promises.

[ It's a solid tactic, tho. ]

That's the idea. Although a straight up 'bounty hunter' is a little gauche. I'm a Killjoy, I like to operate with a bit more finesse. What about you? Let me guess, NOT sweeping floors and stocking shelves?

[barreling]

A killjoy, that's seriously your title? Do you specialize in rounding up people who are too fun at parties because if so I'm going to have to back away slowly

I've done my time in retail hell, but bounty hunter of sorts is actually pretty close lately

[stabilis]

Only if I'm getting paid for it. Jobs are usually more along the lines of retrieval and escort.

What's the "of sorts" part?

[barreling]

Let's just say I specialize in tracking and handling certain types of threats

[stabilis]

That's almost as melodramatic as it is vague. "Certain types of threats"? Should I start guessing, or?

[barreling]

I have a very particular set of skills.

[ is she doing a Liam Neeson impression at her phone? Maybe. eh, whatever. ]

it's demons. I hunt demons

[stabilis]

[ why don't they have Taken in space, tho ]

Like demons

Real demons or metaphorical demons?

[barreling]

I mean both sometimes if I'm being honest
But yes literal demons as in dead bad guys resurrected from hell

[stabilis]

[ Lots of thoughts on that one, but it really just boils down to: ]

Nice.

Was there a formal interview process or is it more of a self-employment thing?

[barreling]

More like bullshit mystical destiny kind of thing? Too bad, if there'd been interviews I totally would've gotten off the hook

[stabilis]

Wow. You sound very special.

[ Not that he can talk. Dutch is pretty special, too. ]

So it's like a religious calling.

[barreling]

[ it's really a shame this isn't audio so he can hear her laugh ]

No. Noooo no no no no no not religious at all. or a calling. I'm not like a demon-killing nun dude

Long story short my great-great-however-many-greats grandfather fucked something up and so now my family is cursed to fight demons until one of us can kill all of them

[stabilis]

Right, because inheriting a family curse that makes you hunt demons sounds way less stupid than a demon-killing nun.

[ Short pause. ]

Actually, both of those things sound more badass than stupid.

[barreling]

It is pretty badass

It's just everything else about nuns is pretty blech if you ask me

id: killjoy

[motivation]

the actual title is Reclamation Agent, if you must know

[barreling]

Catchy

So are you his boss?

[motivation]

partner-boss, but yeah

[barreling]

cool guess we know your policies on fraternization then
so are you hiring?

[motivation]

depends. what are your qualifications?

[ she's not hiring because she doesn't actually have a job herself. she's also not sleeping with johnny, but — she kinda really, really can't argue the fraternisation bit regardless, because she may not be sleeping with johnny, but she sure did sleep with his big brother, and d'avin is part of the team as well. ]

[barreling]

i spent the last year hunting down a couple dozen demons and sending them back to hell with my bigass magical gun

not a euphemism

[motivation]

well, you got my attention
how badass were those demons? [ aka "how badass are you?" ]

[barreling]

badass is way too nice a word for a bunch of murderous mouthbreathing shitstains

but if you're asking like did they have powers the short answer is yes

[motivation]

what's the long answer?

[barreling]

they're all super strong and super evil but have different powers. some were super fast, some traveled through mirrors, some were giant shadow things, some could move shit with their minds, one i'm pretty sure was jack the ripper and i don't know what the fuck all his powers were but i killed the shit out of him

are you impressed yet or should i keep going

[motivation]

no idea who jack the ripper is, but
hells yes, i'm impressed