text | un: rjlupin

[xxxxx]

A few of us have been talking and we're already tired of being broke, so we're wondering what everyone hopes to do here job-wise, what you did before, and how you go about explaining it to the locals if they want to know about your previous floor-sweeping or shelf-stocking experience before allowing you to sweep any floors or stock any shelves. Especially if your job back home was a little more complicated than that.

And have any of them asked any of you for references? Do they actually check them?

Does anybody have any experience with making up false references wholecloth? Can we begin acting as one another’s references?--which is a terribly trust based suggestion, we realise, and so the following question,

Should we design a character test for the sake of honest false reference corroboration? (‘We’ is the general ‘we’ not the ‘we’ asking these questions.) Is there anyone here who is not a reliable hard worker that the rest of us should be sure not to refer for anything?

Before anyone feels the need to point out that unreliable lazy workers will lie: yes, thank you, please see similar discussions following the questions about murder.

[ For the record, this is the product of a phone and its tiny keyboard being passed around among several different curious people. Remus just drew the short straw, because there is no justice in any world, and has to post it. Also, threadjacking super encouraged if you feel the urge. ]

Comments

[motivation]

i'm dutch

[barreling]

congrats? i'm canadian

if you think i'm gonna mangle it you can just spell it phonetically or tell me on audio or something

[motivation]

i thought your name is wynonna
and dutch isn't that hard to pronounce

[barreling]

wait dutch is your name?
huh ok

i've waited forever for this to happen, thank you

[motivation]

yeah
what else would it be

[barreling]

a person from holland?
i'm guessing they don't have the netherlands in your world do they

[motivation]

nope

[barreling]

welp that's where dutch people come from in my world

anyway yeah my name's wynonna

[motivation]

so what's canada?

[barreling]

that's the country i'm from

[motivation]

nice place?

[barreling]

not really

other parts are nice enough i guess but the bit i'm from is pretty much the worst

[motivation]

sorry to hear that

[barreling]

it sucks but it's home sweet home, or whatever

where are you from if you're not dutch dutch?

[motivation]

you've never heard of the quad, have you
dwarf star system in the j

[barreling]

nope
so you're from space that's cool
how would you feel about switching to video for a minute

[motivation]

[ instead of confirming, dutch just makes the switch. so here she is, one hand lifted in greeting for a moment before she drops it. ]

[barreling]

[ there's a second where Wynonna flips on the audio but not yet the video, and Dutch will just hear her say ] Oh [ before visual follows. She looks to be outdoors, and the hand she raises in greeting has a liquor bottle in it ]

All the aliens here turn out to be people.

[motivation]

What were you hoping for?

[ whatever you do, don't say "green goo". ]

[barreling]

I mean hoping is a strong word, it's not like I'm disappointed that you're a perfectly--like, alarmingly perfectly actually--absurdly good-looking human person with great hair, I was just expecting maybe a couple extra arms or some antennae or something.

[motivation]

[ awh. ]

You're not bad-looking yourself.

[barreling]

Thanks! I mean, yeah. Damn right! [ Wynonna shrugs and brushes off one shoulder, hair given a bit of a flip. Damn right. ]

So what's space like? Are there aliens? There've gotta be, right?

[motivation]

Sure. Fun alien parasites threatening to take over all of humanity.

[barreling]

Damn, where's Sigourney Weaver when you need her?

[ that's a rhetorical question. this one isn't: ]

Wait, they didn't put any of the parasites in the pods, did they?

[motivation]

They might have. No way of knowing whether someone's human or not unless they bleed.

[ she's not kidding. ]