text, u.n: j.watson

[enarms]

He looks cute but he's a thieving little shit. If you've lost anything small over the last few weeks, sorry. I'll bring it back if you get in touch.

[ is this John Watson, posting photos of his ferret to soothe the masses? it might be. but he also genuinely does have a room full of trinkets that don't belong to him, and there are also a few attached images here of all the things his little tyke of an animal has thieved while John's been otherwise engaged.

(but mostly he's just hanging out with a long fluff, finding it therapeutic and wants to share the feeling - and hey, sooner or later somebody has to get back to pretending nothing's happening and treating the network like a Facebook wall. why not him?) ]

(( ooc: feel free to chime in with "that X in the picture is mine"/"do you have my Y?" etc if you fancy it! basic guidelines are if a ferret could feasibly carry it, this ferret could feasibly have stolen it. ))

Comments

[flashystyle]

Eight rings, seven bracelets, three necklaces, a number of gems, and now, this morning, my very important family birthright that no one else should have their grubby little hands on.

I thought Rosalind was simply borrowing from me, but the truth is revealed. He's made off with a fortune and you owe me greatly.

[enarms]

I can't tell whether or not you're being facetious. I've got enough stuff here to account for that three times over.

[flashystyle]

Why would I be facetious over such an important matter, John? I don't just spend my paycheck on drinks, you know. I'm coming over.

[enarms]

Please do, I'd like to be able to see my floor again.

[flashystyle]

[A true savior of John's floor arrives shortly afterward, looking an impossible mixture of cross and grateful all at once. He pats John's shoulder and walks right past him as soon as the door opens to make his way for the pile. Hello.]

He's a monster. Absolute menace.

[enarms]

[ great, wonderful, a blessed saviour of the day. the pile is... abominably large. it's a practical Aladdin's cave in John's room. he's quick to shut the door behind Dorian to stop the culprit from slipping out to pinch more additions to the Pit of Things. ]

I couldn't agree more.

[ some pet owners have to worry about their furbabies heading off to tumble in the hay with the fluff next door. if only this habit were as easy to remedy. ]

Probably Darwin's fault he's got so much of yours.

[ that's right. he knows where you live now, Dorian. ]

[flashystyle]

[Dorian freezes, whipping around with a hand over his chest with and overly exaggerated aghast expression. He's trying desperately not to smile.]

A conspiracy! I always knew that fat little thing had it out for me. Ever since I wouldn't feed her third breakfast.

[enarms]

Well, that's what you get. [ hang on. hang on. there's room for a miracle here. ] —For living with a hungry, hungry hippo.

[ oh... my God. John barks a breathy laugh at his own horrible, very Earth-specific joke, and his shit of a ferret pops its head out from behind a cabinet on the opposite side of the room. what's goin' on out here. ]

i'm dropping this thread

[flashystyle]

[Dorian gives him a, understandably confused look initially, but he can't help but laugh from the sheer ridiculousness of the alliteration. And, well, he can't remember the last time he's seen John laugh.

It's a good moment, ruined by the ferret's reappearance.] You cretin! [He points, carefully stepping over one of the many piles of loot to get up its tiny face.] You're smarter than you look, hm? I know you stole my birthright to usurp my politic standing, but I won't leave until I find it.

[This is still ridiculous.]

good riddance to bad rubbish

[enarms]

Did you just call my ferret a cretin and accuse him of trying to usurp your position in the space of three sentences?

[ Dorian...... you're too much. John's trying not to laugh again he really honestly is but please... he's going to start weeping if you don't Stop.

the ferret seems about as perturbed as John is - which is to say, not very - and stands his furry little ground. come and have a go if you think you're hard enough. ]