hjack69: (let's go predator on dis bitch)
god-king of shitposting ([personal profile] hjack69) wrote in [community profile] elnysa2017-12-05 09:05 pm

text; un: hjack420blayz

WANTED:
One ( 1 ) to five ( 5 ) hired professionals willing to traverse the wilds of Olympia to gather samples of native flora and fauna. Ideal candidates will have trained in one or more fields of combat; specifics cannot be given due to the unknown and highly unpredictable nature of the Olympia wilderness.

I will be personally leading a highly-trained team of my own to ensure your safety.
PAYMENT
Any one ( 1 ) of the following:

- An amount of currency to be agreed upon before departure.
- A cut of any profits made from the samples.
- A favor from our incredibly talented, remarkably intelligent, and unbelievably good-looking engineer.
- My personal gratitude. (The most valuable option tbh.)


Contact if interested.
Handsome Jack and associates are not responsible for any gutting, burning, maiming, stabbing, devouring, electrocuting, exploding, flaying, defenestrating, or any and all loss of life or limb associated with temporary employees i.e. 'mercenaries'. Temporary employees are not entitled to healthcare options or insurance. Temporary employees and their families are not entitled to any form of compensation in the event of death or maiming i.e. "life insurance". In the event of a mutiny or other attempt to subvert the chain of command, or any attempt to rob, kill, or otherwise harm the team, Handsome Jack and associates reserve the right to execute the offending parties in an only moderately excruciating manner.
originallutece: can you not hemorrhage for like ten minutes (neutral; ugh more blood)

[personal profile] originallutece 2017-12-07 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
Obviously nothing happened, Rhys, I'm hardly sitting here agog.
rhygret: (why do I make out with you again)

[personal profile] rhygret 2017-12-07 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
Well...good.
I can't believe he's being this childish, OH WAIT. Yes I can!
originallutece: the ojigi tried to eat the delivery boy again (talk; w e l p)

[personal profile] originallutece 2017-12-07 05:47 am (UTC)(link)
You realize he hadn't mentioned you by name?
rhygret: (SURELY NOTHING WILL GO WRONG)

[personal profile] rhygret 2017-12-07 05:50 am (UTC)(link)
Well...no but
Like YOU know who he's talking about
originallutece: It's not going well (talk; reading isaac asimov)

[personal profile] originallutece 2017-12-07 05:52 am (UTC)(link)
I did, yes, but it might have served you better to play that one off.

Ah, well, too late now. So long as you're here, that reminds me: you owe me a phone call.
rhygret: (my son's a little...loud)

[personal profile] rhygret 2017-12-07 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
Wait I do? Why
originallutece: can you not hemorrhage for like ten minutes (neutral; ugh more blood)

[personal profile] originallutece 2017-12-07 05:54 am (UTC)(link)
Call me and find out, why don't you.