text; un: hjack420blayz

[hjack69]

WANTED:

One ( 1 ) to five ( 5 ) hired professionals willing to traverse the wilds of Olympia to gather samples of native flora and fauna. Ideal candidates will have trained in one or more fields of combat; specifics cannot be given due to the unknown and highly unpredictable nature of the Olympia wilderness.

I will be personally leading a highly-trained team of my own to ensure your safety.

PAYMENT

Any one ( 1 ) of the following:

- An amount of currency to be agreed upon before departure.
- A cut of any profits made from the samples.
- A favor from our incredibly talented, remarkably intelligent, and unbelievably good-looking engineer.
- My personal gratitude. (The most valuable option tbh.)


Contact if interested.

Handsome Jack and associates are not responsible for any gutting, burning, maiming, stabbing, devouring, electrocuting, exploding, flaying, defenestrating, or any and all loss of life or limb associated with temporary employees i.e. 'mercenaries'. Temporary employees are not entitled to healthcare options or insurance. Temporary employees and their families are not entitled to any form of compensation in the event of death or maiming i.e. "life insurance". In the event of a mutiny or other attempt to subvert the chain of command, or any attempt to rob, kill, or otherwise harm the team, Handsome Jack and associates reserve the right to execute the offending parties in an only moderately excruciating manner.

Comments

[hjack69]

Exactly. I'd rather pay other people to maybe get eaten - no offense, that's just how it works with employers. We're all secretly thinking it.

[exaomori]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just tell me how much you're going to get me for doing the dirty work.

[hjack69]

Depends on if you want the flat rate (50% upfront/50% after) or the percentage of total profit. One is more instant gratification, two scales infinitely based on exactly how much capital intake we have after a set sales period.

[ If this seems convoluted and vaguely nonsensical, it's because it's supposed to be. ]

[exaomori]

[that's not suspicious at all!]

Give me a couple days to decide, and I'll get back in touch. I have to get some supplies for myself before I go out doing something stupid anyway