elnysa | R4R (refugee4refugee)

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R4R (refugee4refugee)

Hello everyone, it has been some time, and I hope you're all doing better after recent events. Once again, I come to you with an app for your convenience. For those still struggling to find companionship in their new lives, I am pleased to introduce

OPENING ALRIGHT_CHERUB_v2.0.EXE...
INITIALIZING DATA...
CONFIGURING...

[♪ pleasant chime ♫]

Welcome to Alright Cherub, an online mingle application for the socially ineptERROR lonelyERROR ERROR

An online application for singles looking to mingle!
Please fill out the following information so we can begin pairing you up with like-minded loseERROR partners!

-A.G.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[You know what, fuck it, Zer0's bored. He might as well blow a few minutes filling this crap out. And by that I mean he leaves most of it blank. He expects absolutely nothing to come out of it anyway, but maybe he'll magically find someone to fight with?

It's not likely and he forgets he filled it out like immediately after doing so but here you go.]

NAME: Zer0
AGE:
SPECIES:
SINGLE:
LOOKING FOR: Fights
FAVORITE FOOD:
FAVORITE BOOK:
FAVORITE MOVIE:
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: L0L
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": :(
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: Technically I am one
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: (ง'̀-'́)ง

[ Rhys is desperate enough to spend any time at all with Zer0 that he is totally on board with Angel's creation and the fact that she has totally rigged it to match them up.

He has zer0 shame in filling it out

eh

EH ]

NAME: Rhys
AGE: 27
SPECIES: Human
SINGLE: You bet ;)
LOOKING FOR: Hanging out, watching movies, getting to know each other!
FAVORITE FOOD: Ice cream and Hyperion Donuts (Sprinkles)
FAVORITE BOOK: The one where that guy does the thing and everyone likes him for it.
FAVORITE MOVIE: Mad Vincent: Quandrant Road
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: Definitely not crashing a space station into a planet or anything.
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: I am the life of the party.
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": ....No?
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: I mean...maybe? I guess? Sometimes you have a job and that job means fighting a lot of bandits and finding alien treasure and that's pretty cool.
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: Haha, not falling for it!

SEARCHING FOR YOUR PERFECT MATCH...

[♪ pleasant chime ♫]

CONGRATULATIONS! You have 100% compatibility with RHYS.

Would you like to chat now?

[ The app doesn't wait for an answer before going ahead ]

INITIATING CHAT

Edited 2017-11-13 03:49 (UTC)

[lmao ok so zer0 was totally trying to reply to the GODDAMN THING and doesn't realize he's been connected yet I guess so enjoy this??????]

STOP DISCONNECT ABORT WTF

[ AHAHAHA THIS IS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN ]

Uhhhh
Hi?

[THIS IS THE MOST HORRIBLE THING TO EVER HAPPEN]

Oh

Hi

[SHIT]

I'm guessing you didn't mean to send those messages

[ FINE WITH HIM RHYS WILL TAKE IT ]

I meant to send them,
But they weren't intended
To be sent to you.

[new phone who dis lol???? damn]

[ l i e s ]

Oh
Were you having a conversation with someone else?

Kind of.

Not

really?

It's complicated.

Right, yeah, no worries.
So you're using this cherub thing huh?

one sec

[There's kind of a long delay while Zer0 actually looks at the shit he's been using hmm]

I probably should have read this thing first.

Did you seriously install and run this without looking at what it was first??

Edited (words are hard) 2017-11-13 13:17 (UTC)

[I mean yeah this was pretty stupid, but if THIS is the stupidest thing Zer0's ever done, he's doing pretty damn good for himself just sayin.]

#Y0L0

[ I'd say "compared to Rhys this is true" but ANYONE compared to Rhys would have this result. This man needs to stop everything entirely forever. ]

--And you left most of your profile blank!

[ DAMNIT ZER0 how is he supposed to know how to impress you if you don't tell him all the things he wants to know. You are the Lion Universe of Borderlands. ]

My information
Is confidential, sorry.
Need to know basis.

[though he could actually list off all the ways he would kill a man if it would make Rhys happy.]

Oh...I guess that makes sense since you're an assassin and all.
Have you found any work doing that here yet?

[ he meant to contact Zer0 about doing work with his stuff but...well. He got sick and that ruined a lot of his short-term plans. ]

Assassinations?
Not really, I'm branching out.
Side jobs here and there.

[do you need someone killed rhys he would SO dig it]

[ The true secret to winning Zer0's heart: hire them to kill people. ]

How would you feel about fighting a bunch of wildlife and bringing in some supplies?

Edited 2017-11-14 02:55 (UTC)

[Oh you've got Zer0's attention, Rhys. You've got his attention so hard right now. Sidequests aren't as fun as hunting vaults but IT'S A START]

Yes.

[That's how he feels about it!!!!]

[ +10 affection?? Social Link Rank Up??? ]

Cool :)
I need some ore that's apparently in a really difficult place to get to on account of all the wildlife in that area. I don't know if it's Pandora-levels of bad but...
It should be fun?

[ For Zer0. Probably almost no one else. ]

[yeah something like that]

I'm so down for this. / Let me know when you need it, / And I'll deliver.

If you can get it within a week or two that'd be awesome! I'll send the coordinates to your ECH...oh. Right those aren't a think anymore.
I'll just text it to you.
It's north-east of Wyver.

That works for me. Thanks.

NAME: ~~KIND~~ KING RICHARD
AGE: Not too old
SPECIES: Human? Why are we even asking this?
SINGLE: Well obviously
LOOKING FOR: Women. Not too old, but mature, you know?
FAVORITE FOOD: Spinach Puffs
FAVORITE BOOK: I didn't really do a whole lot of reading since I had people to do that for me
FAVORITE MOVIE: What?
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: Um, have my executioner do it, I guess? I don't know.
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: No! Why would you even ask that!
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": Like what?
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: No! I mean, would you?
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: What?

NAME: Willem
AGE: six and twenty
SPECIES: man
SINGLE: I am one man, yes.
LOOKING FOR: a partner who enjoys the outdoors,
FAVORITE FOOD: I'm partial to roasts.
FAVORITE BOOK:
FAVORITE MOVIE:
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: A knife.
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: No.
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": No? What is weird stuff?
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: Would I sleep with someone who killed repeatedly? Who would do such a thing?
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: Ha, nice try.

Oh my god you're welcome hahaha! :)
I'll upload a picture of the ore I need as soon as I can head into the market here. Everything's all weird to navigate

[ a mixture of truth and lies. or maybe a bunch of lies and a single truth.

hey. everyone needs a hobby. ]

NAME: REDACTED
AGE: REDACTED
SPECIES: Who knows?
SINGLE: Sure
LOOKING FOR: That defeats all the fun of you finding out.
FAVORITE FOOD: Veal
FAVORITE BOOK: In Cold Blood
FAVORITE MOVIE: Animal Farm
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: Depends on the man, doesn't it?
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: Who knows?
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": Wouldn't you like to know?
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: Only if they'd sleep with a war criminal.
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: "I'll gladly give all my information to complete strangers."

Edited 2017-11-14 04:55 (UTC)

:)

Yeah, this place is weird
It's also way too humid
But some parts are cool.

Tell me about it, it humidity is KILLING me
I've had to change from suits to normal clothes
It's horrible

[ Rhys almost died, and the biggest tragedy of his life is that he has to wear regular pants like everyone else. ]

[ This is sort of embarrassing, but hell, sometimes even old men need a little help. Plus, it could be a good way to meet friends. ]

NAME: Reinhardt Wilhelm
AGE: 61
SPECIES: Human
SINGLE: yes
LOOKING FOR: new friends in the fight for justice
FAVORITE FOOD: currywurst
FAVORITE BOOK: Nibelungenlied
FAVORITE MOVIE: Dragonheart! It's a classic!
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: with honor
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: some would say so
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": define weird
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: Do I know they are one?
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: I know this. I will not fall for it

Those suits look so uncomfortable though.

[Says the guy that runs around in full body leather]

But they look good too though right?
They're actually not that bad. A good cut makes even the stiffest of suits like a smooth summer breeze
What's it like wearing a bodysuit all the time? Aren't you like...boiling in this weather?

Better when you're not
tucking your tie in your pants.
What even was that

I'm fine.

[ Oh my god no ZER0 DON'T SHAME HIS TIE. ]

Wait what was wrong with my tie??

Everything

What
Come on it wasn't THAT bad

was it?

You look way better
After getting rid of it,
A big improvement.

[ .......Rhys is going to take that as Zer0 saying he looks good. SW00N. ]

Oh
Oh that's good then
Thanks!

[I mean Rhys's face isn't hideous or anything so I guess???]

:)b

[ Those emojis will never cease to cause Rhys's heart to flutter like a nerd. ]

:)!

[how big a goddamn nerd can you BE]

Anyway I gotta go bye

[HE'S GOTTA GO DELETE THIS APP]

NAME: Sanderson Hawkins
AGE: complicated
SPECIES: geomorph (former human)
SINGLE: emphatically
LOOKING FOR: pretty much anything
FAVORITE FOOD: coffee
FAVORITE BOOK: anything by Dian Belmont
FAVORITE MOVIE: can't choose, won't choose
IF YOU HAD TO KILL A MAN HOW WOULD YOU DO IT: that is a terrible question
ARE YOU ANNOYING?: the narcolepsy probably isn't helpful but I don't think so
ARE YOU INTO "WEIRD STUFF": my life is was like 95% 'weird stuff' before I got here
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A SERIAL KILLER?: why. JUST WHY. No. FFS.
ALOSERSAYSWHAT: Chicken butt.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

R4R (refugee4refugee)

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un: real_life_actual_king

text, un: willem

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un: anonymous

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