dial h for hire [video]

[unweave]

[ The feed picks up with a slight buzz of static. The visuals over the network focus on a waist-up shot of Aranea who isn't looking too hot. Not only is her face bruised (healing black eye, slightly swollen nose and busted lip), but there is a bandage pack poking out from under her top. ]

Don't want to waste anyone's time — there's enough stupid messages coming across this every day and I don't want to add to it.

My names Aranea Highwind and I'm recruiting for a mercenary group — odd jobs, monster hunts, personal protection, and the like. I'm willing to give a large cut on jobs I get in, bordering 65%. Tough sons of a bitches please apply and those looking for their problems to be solved? I'm your gal.

[ I mean, even now she's confident with a sly smirk plastered on her face. This is the most blunt ass sales pitch ever? But — ]

You can't trust everyone you meet here, some people will literally stab you. [ She nudges the view to her hip, but rolls her eyes as the camera gets back to her. ] But, there's still people wanting to help out. Why waste your time at that shitty fight club when you can make a difference and get paid for it? Think about it.

Comments

[congratulating]

So you have.

[ LISTEN TO THAT SOFT BACKHANDED SNARK. ]

There are worse things to die from, but it certainly will not feel that way if you die from such an ailment. [ He chuckles. ]

Fair enough. But it helps to unite the people under a single idea. [ Like Executor. Simple, effective. ] Everyone will do whatever they like, but so long as everyone's working toward the same goal, no harm in naming them. It means you'll have to take responsibility for those that you're asking to be part of your venture, however.

So a bleeding heart may, indeed, be the ailment we both will worry about. [ IT ALL COMES FULL AWFUL CIRCLE. Just be happy he isn't walking in a circle around her. ]

[unweave]

I still refuse to give them some corny name. They live off street cred, better not to kill them before they get started.

[ IT'S NOT A BOY BAND. ]

I'm use to kicking people into shape and making sure they don't kill themselves.

[congratulating]

Are you that certain you are so bad at choosing names?

[ IT COULD BE A BOY BAND. ]

Even so...

[unweave]

Horrible.

[ GOD. ]

Don't even humor it.

[congratulating]

I promise you that no humor is being had, Aranea.

[unweave]

[ Just deadeyes. ]

[congratulating]

[ Moving on. ] In any case, I offer my services to your band. Seeing as I have seen you... it feels like it would be wrong not to offer the same free assistance to your people.

Indeed, it is against my sacraments to offer nothing more for you after I helped you.

[unweave]

It's not a band. Don't call it that!

[ GROAAAANS. ]

Well, thanks, I guess. I don't trust the clinic so I'm glad there's another option to send people who botch shit.

[congratulating]

Friendly group of mercenaries, then.

[ FIGURATIVE AIRHORNS. ]

You are welcome. As I have told others, it adheres to my sacraments to help and so I am grateful to be able to do so. But if you and yours wish to do a free favor now and again, I would not be opposed.

[unweave]

Consider it done. You need a favor and I'll handle it myself. Not too often, though.

[congratulating]

That is more than fair, Aranea.

I shall thank you in advance. [ but he doesn't think she's going to thank him. ]