dial h for hire [video]

[unweave]

[ The feed picks up with a slight buzz of static. The visuals over the network focus on a waist-up shot of Aranea who isn't looking too hot. Not only is her face bruised (healing black eye, slightly swollen nose and busted lip), but there is a bandage pack poking out from under her top. ]

Don't want to waste anyone's time — there's enough stupid messages coming across this every day and I don't want to add to it.

My names Aranea Highwind and I'm recruiting for a mercenary group — odd jobs, monster hunts, personal protection, and the like. I'm willing to give a large cut on jobs I get in, bordering 65%. Tough sons of a bitches please apply and those looking for their problems to be solved? I'm your gal.

[ I mean, even now she's confident with a sly smirk plastered on her face. This is the most blunt ass sales pitch ever? But — ]

You can't trust everyone you meet here, some people will literally stab you. [ She nudges the view to her hip, but rolls her eyes as the camera gets back to her. ] But, there's still people wanting to help out. Why waste your time at that shitty fight club when you can make a difference and get paid for it? Think about it.

Comments

[strontiumdog]

I'm interested. If you want my qualifications, it's fourteen years at the Galactic Crime Commission. Search and Destroy agent. My job is exactly what it sounds like, and I'm looking for work again.

[Johnny tilts his head down at the camera with a wry smile playing at the corner of his mouth.]

Provided that you're fully licensed, of course.

[unweave]

[ WELL, damn. She was a bit caught off guard by how quickly he threw his credentials out. ]

Fully licensed? From who? The cityguard isn't going to risk having a third party. This is pure refugee-only fueled and funded. We do good work — [ "Good-ish", honestly. ] — and I pay you out. Mercenaries work on individual contracts.

[strontiumdog]

[Hey, he's not in the habit of wasting time. He's got a damn good resume and he's not ashamed of it.]

As long as it's all on the up and up, I'm satisfied.

[Not that he's too concerned about that. But his job is hard enough even when he's authorized to do whatever.]

Although that said, thirty-five's a large cut for something that could generously be called a finder's fee. [His fingers drum on his thigh, but his voice stays affable.] Ten sounds more reasonable to me.

[unweave]

I won't let any darkness in, if that's what you mean. [ She says that word with bitterness. ] Which is why I'm doing screenings and people can do test runs.

[ But he mentions the cut and she sputters her lips. ]

Bullshit! Finder's fee is only part of it. If you get heat for a job, you think you're going down? Nah, you're affiliated with a group. I'd take the hit. 30% is lowest I'll go.

[strontiumdog]

[Hm. Darkness. Roundabout way of saying arseholes. Either way, Johnny gets the point, and that's a point in her favour.]

If you're screening your candidates as thoroughly as you say you are, that won't be a problem. Especially not for me. [He counters, unimpressed.] And I have a lot of skills and experience I can bring to the table. So lets say fifteen.

[At least this haggling is something he's familiar with. The GCC always took a cut from the bounties, of course, but there was always more squabbling between S/D agents.]

[unweave]

You got to be shitting me. [ She's not even mad at it. He's trying to hustle. ] You're welcome to go find some jobs, start your own lil' group for that 15% you're trying to save.

[ She's firm, narrowing her eyes a bit. ]

I'm not sitting behind some desk waiting to get paid doing nothing — I'm actively going to bring jobs, so if you want in, great. If not, 15% is a hell of a thing to turn down a group of affiliates for.

[strontiumdog]

Fifteen percent difference for every job is a lot, don't make me out as some kind of stingy arsehole. [Not that he holds it against her either. It's a valid tactic.]

I bring my own equipment, supplies, weaponry, I feed myself, I look after myself. [Johnny ticks them off on his fingers, one by one.] I can read minds, and I can track a man halfway across the snecking galaxy. I'm housetrained. Damn fast on the trigger, but I also know when the occasion calls for it. I know when it's time to bring someone in, and when it's time for a body bag.

And [he says pointedly,] I'm used to looking after idiots who get in over their heads. There will be a lot of those in this little group, and you don't want them getting themselves killed. Save yourself the trouble. I'm just one exception. Twenty percent.

[unweave]

Oh my godddd. Fine, you're giving me a migraine! [ There's a heavy groan. Time to retire already. ] Whatever, but you better not be a thorn in my side.

[strontiumdog]

[And just like that, any seriousness on his face breaks apart and a tiny hint of a good-humored smirk comes onto his face.]

Sure. I'll be good. [He says, suddenly agreeable.] It was nice doing business with you.

[He winks, and with a casual, two-finger salute cuts the feed off.]