elnysa | video | un: Priorly

[This post is made at around 3am, and Prior appears to be curled in a corner of his bathroom floor, in a pink cardigan and floral PJs.]

Forgive my intrusion on what, I am told, is a highly complex network of cups and strings... has anyone else been assigned to an empty house? Quite, quite empty. Aside from myself, of course, but I'm all moved in now and find I do not, in fact, take up that much room. And it's very quiet, at this time of night. Very quiet. The emptiness becomes somehow moreso. Does that make sense? I'm not sleeping very well.

[He's not doing much very well, by the slightly shivery look of him. Although it is cold on the bathroom floor, and perhaps that's at least part of the cause.]

Though I can't deny the extra space is a boon. Very handy for storing all the nothing I have to fill it with. Would anyone like to go antiquing? If we're lucky we may even find something here that doesn't look archaic.

Speaking of looking for things. I hear there's no hospital. Do we have pharmacies? I have prescriptions from my own world which will run out soon and I don't know the best course of action to take. This city can't, surely, be all cons and no mod. Are there ballrooms? Movie theatres? I know there's an entertainment district but haven't yet ventured out that far. I suppose a bar with a rainbow flag in the window would be too much to ask for.

[Swallowing, he glances down, feeling the glare of being on camera and saying too much.]

Perhaps I should set something up downstairs. At the very least, I have the room.

[He reaches out, and the screen goes black.]

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Why, how would I know? I've barely seen it any other way.

[A pause.]

I could instead not profess ignorance at all, and come off as a worse manner of fool.

You could try. Listen, you're from one of Disney's medieval zones, I know. I don't think you sound ignorant at all.

But then I wouldn't be able to speak to anyone at all. Just to begin a conversation, I need to ask. College. Antiques. It's all a series of information I lack.

Unless you want to speak about horses and raiders and, I don't know, the best way to survive in the woods in the winter.

Warm and cosy in grandmother's house?

Well, that is one way.

So long as one avoids the wolves. You know, your type seem to be in the majority here. You could seek out other woodsmen and avoid the bemusement I bring.

[But Prior reminds him of the Fool - sharp tongue and slim sleek bones, and that prophet's look to him.]

I could, but what manner of friend would that make me?

A less presumptuous one, of course. [But look, Prior's smiling.] Are you hoping I'll let you hold me again? Because, fortunately for some, in my current condition I could hardly refuse.

Do you not think of us that way? Then you'll have to excuse me.

[Prior chuckles, low and pleased.]

Oh, look at that. I like you when you're not confused, too.

[Although confused doesn't get old easily, he must say.]

And baby, I think of everyone that way. My life's like one giant Coke advert on a hilltop.

I should start making all my metaphors about obscure horse lore.

I'll make all my replies about riding.

Well of course, what else would you do with a horse?

[A pause.]

Well, harness one to a cart, perhaps.

If that's your particular inclination, who would I be to judge?

[He tips his head back though, addressing empty air.]

Dear lord, he predates euphemism, this is worse than I thought.

[There's a snort]

We have euphemisms, just none that involve-

[There's a pause.]

You've a filthy mind.

[There's the faintest purr in Prior's voice: impressive from a man trapped on his bathroom floor.]

You've such an innocent one. You should run, really, or it won't last.

I grew up in the guard barracks and stables, I don't think anyone has ever used the term innocent mind for one who came out of those.

But even they draw the line at horses.

[Wait wait hold that thought right there a moment. Prior throws his hands up in alarm.]

I draw the line at horses! Just not perfectly mild, utterly socially acceptable, probably televised before the watershed jokes about them, that's all.

[Fitz actually laughs at that.]

All is well, Prior.

[Well good. It is the desired effect after all.]

So long as we understand each other. On this, at least.

We've ample misunderstandings ahead of us.

To which I look forward. I'd toast, but I left my water by the bed.

You can't toast with water, anyway. Bad luck. I wonder if I can find brandy.

It is? Must be where I've gone wrong all this time.

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