[ VIDEO ] un: chocobro

[punshots]

[ It's mid-morning when this video goes live, the camera auto-focusing on Prompto's face as he kneels "steathily" in what appears to be a hallway, his back pressed up against the wall even as he grins stupidly at the screen. Prompto isn't one to easily be found in a bad mood, but he appears to be exceptionally giddy today. The reason why? Well...

In a hushed, excited whisper: ]

Heeeeeeeey. Hey! Heyyyyy! Goodest of good mornings to ya! I've got, like, a crazy big announcement to make! Wait for iiiiiiiit, just - okay, okay -

[ He starts creeping down the hall in his crouched position, as if he's approaching wildlife that should be considered dangerous. And this is certainly dangerous. Prompto swivels the camera's view around to face forward as he tiptoes to just outside the doorway to Alisaie's study, where she's just visible through the ajar door, sitting at her desk, reading out of a book and drinking from a steaming mug. She seems to be unaware of his presence...for now. ]

See her? I know, right? An actual elven goddess, as clever as she is brave and loyal, a hero to the people and a scholar - also, a total hottie. Okay, but get this - I - me, Prompto Argentum - asked her to marry me - hah - and she totally said yes!

[ The last word is spoken with such a feverish high pitch that only dogs could probably hear it. He moves around the doorway just a biiit more so he can attempt to focus in on the engagement ring Alisaie is wearing, which really just makes the picture as fuzzy as hell because he's still in the hallway, but whatever, it's there on her hand and it looks great in person!! ]

Check it - booya! Look at that rock! Oh man, you guys, it was sooooo romantic, there were rose petals and fireworks and birds were singing - probably -

[ Prompto turns the camera back on himself as he just sort of...slouches back against the wall and laughs nonsensically with a hand against his face, which might seem a tad concerning for anyone who doesn't know him, but this is just his way. ]

Oh, man - I still can't believe it! I don't even know the first thing about planning a wedding... [ Even if his best friend was supposed to get married back home, it's not like Noct was at all involved with the planning of it, so Prompto has no example to follow there! He also stops remembering to whisper riiight about now. ] Like - we need a DJ, right? Pretty sure we need a DJ. Anyone out there a sick DJ? Am I gonna have to take my own photos? Plus, we're gonna need the best cake imaginable 'cause Miss Sweet Tooth in there -

[ Of course, this is when the door to the study swings open wide, with Alisaie appearing in it as grave as a ghost with a look that could kill, and Prompto's phone goes clattering to the floor, providing a unique perspective on what will likely be his brutal murder. ]

Oh, crrrr - hi, sweetheart! I was just...

[ As he grabs for his phone again, the feed cuts out, RIP. ]

Comments

[punshots]

[ Yeah, he probably should have expected this...WHATEVER, Ardyn isn't gonna ruin this for him!! ]

Thanks! You're not invited.

[daemonized]

[YOU'RE SO RUDE

Actually, he's not at all surprised to hear this. It would be more surprising if he was invited, honestly. But of course, Ardyn is going to feign surprise, placing a hand on his chest.]

What? But I wish to stand in the back, holding in tears, while the two of you exchange your vows. You'd not rob me of that opportunity?

[punshots]

[ Yes, he must truly be so shocked. ]

Somehow, I wouldn't be surprised if you sneaked in anyway. I'm just makin' your uninvitation official.

[ Please don't curse them, Maleficent-style... ]

[daemonized]

[No guarantees.]

You cannot uninvite me if I was never invited to begin with. [Yes, Ardyn is that level of annoying today.] Come now, I promise not to make a fuss.

[punshots]

[ Ah, yes, Promises by Ardyn™. Lest we forget what happened to the last wedding Ardyn meddled in... ]

Why would you even want to be there, anyway? Don't you have, like, a bridge to hang out under, or something?

[daemonized]

[Look, that was only the one time. Gosh. Can't a guy catch a break?

Neatly stepping over that insult, thank you.]

Oh, the pomp and circumstance -- the elegant decor and lavish necessities that grace any wedding worth going to. The atmosphere, the mingling. And let's not forget about the cake.

[punshots]

[ ONE TIME IS ALL IT TAKES... ]

Uh-huh. [ Prompto is remarkably flat, in both expression and tone. ] Aaaand I guess the happiness of the couple really isn't even on your radar.

[ Somehow, he doesn't doubt that at least some of that was genuine, though. Ardyn had been at the gala, after all. ]

[daemonized]

Are you saying your love is so tenuous that happiness itself would be shattered by my mere presence? I hope not.

[He knows well enough that wasn't what Prompto meant.]

[punshots]

[ He rolls his eyes so hard it kinda actually hurts his head. Ow... ]

Yeah, that's tooooootally what I'm saying. Not! I'm sayin' this is gonna be an Ardyn-free event. Y'know. A safe space.

[daemonized]

Oh, you wound me. Truly. What a callous heart you possess.

[Maybe he'll sneak in just to make a point. It wouldn't be difficult, gods knows.]

I have been providing nothing but safety for the citizens of Olympia since my arrival here. Or have you forgotten that?

[punshots]

[ It wouldn't be difficult, and Prompto doesn't doubt Ardyn will do it. This un-invitation is on principle only. ]

Oh, no, I remember. I also happen to remember how you freakin' stabbed Aranea.

private;

[daemonized]

[Prompto may or may not notice how this immediately switches over to a private feed. Ardyn's demeanor doesn't change to betray this much.]

Well, she stabbed me first. What else should I have done?

[punshots]

[ He notices. Oh, so he doesn't want that particular foul to be public knowledge, huh? Not surprising. ]

I dunno, walked away? Oooor maybe, just maybe, not given her a reason to stab you in the first place?

[daemonized]

[No, and for particularly good reason, as one might imagine.]

She was inebriated and easily thrown into agitation. A few words is not reason to attack someone in such an aggressive way.

[Sorry, Aranea, but THAT WAS REALLY RUDE.]

Besides, would that truly be your advice to someone who had just been thoroughly and completely stabbed through the midsection? Smile and walk away?

[punshots]

Yes - no - I-I don't know!

[ Should Aranea have attacked him? Of course not, but that answer is a hell of a lot more complicated given Prompto also knows now what they were arguing about. That he's a part of this isn't doing his conscience any favors. ]

Look - it doesn't matter if you've been on your best behavior here. You're totally bonkers if you think I'd ever invite you to my wedding.

[ i hope this becomes a moment of fridge horror later ]

[daemonized]

[i'm almost 100 percent sure that it will

He takes some satisfaction in the young man's stuttering. Though as expected, it's not like it'll change his mind about the wedding invite. Ardyn's not as put-off by it as his words might imply.]

And if I show anyway?

[punshots]

[ Ah, yes, there it is. ]

Then you show up! We're not gonna let you ruin our special day just because you're there.

[ And of the two of them, Alisaie is the one more likely to make a scene at their wedding, but he doubts even she could be put off the newlywed glow by Ardyn's presence. ]

You so won't get a thank you card, though.

[daemonized]

You see? That's all I needed to hear.

[To be fair, he has no plans on making a ruckus if he does show. But getting under Prompto's skin like this is just part of his monthly quota of Frustrating Ardyn Things.]

See you on the special day, then?

[punshots]

Ugh.

[ And he's just...not even going to dignify that with a response. All Ardyn gets is an exasperated sigh in return. Which is probably what he was going for anyway. ]

[daemonized]

[Exasperation in general is what he was going for, yes. And he seems satisfied with the result.

Ardyn just grins, has the audacity to give a vague little wave goodbye, and cuts off the feed with a laugh.]