1 ● Seeking: New Rooomates + The Starks Civil War [TEXT]

[silverhound]

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How come I have to have a "silver turd" and a "blind dude" as roommates? They both suck!
Who came up with this idea? This is stupid.

Might kick them out. They're too noisy.

Does anyone even like their roommates? Mine are annoying. Let's do a trade.

Comments

[silverhound]

...wait, you have a "goat" for a roommate?

[tummyflowers]

Yes and he's absolutely enormous. I don't know where we're expected to keep him.

[silverhound]

No trade! I don't have enough space for a goat man!

[tummyflowers]

Oh come on, it's a great deal! Not only do you get more person than I do, but you'll never have to worry about your lawn getting out of control. So, bonus.

[silverhound]

NO TRADE, ASSHOLE!!!!!

[tummyflowers]

Well that's just rude.

[silverhound]

Ruder than you selling me a heap of choco-shit?
I don't think so!

[tummyflowers]

That is my roommate you're talking about, sir. He may be a giant goat man, but he is a fine gentleman all the same. More than can be said of you.

[silverhound]

Wait, fuck you!

You was just trying to pawn that sucker off a minute ago!!!

[tummyflowers]

What? No. I was offering you what was clearly the coolest roommate I have. I mean, come on, a giant goat? Let me tell you, eight year old Rick would have been all about that. But, you were upset about your blind dude. I completely empathize with that. I mean, back when I was king, we'd just throw them into a ravine, but I was trying to help you out.

But fine. Fine. Offer rescinded. I'll keep my goat man. He'll be happier with me anyway.

[silverhound]

LIIIIIIAAAAARRRRR!
There's no way you was a "King", since I met the "Queen" and she's a heck of a lot cooler than you! She's cooler and types better than you! She also sounds fancier.

Keep the stupid goat! At least I still have space at my place!

[tummyflowers]

[It honestly does not occur to Richard that Loz doesn't realize there can be multiple kings and queens, which leads to one horrible conclusion... his former (current?) wife is here. And that's terrible.]

Wait... the queen is here? And you actually like her? She's basically evil, you know. She stabbed my brother in the back and while I will be the first to admit he deserved it, still basically a dick move.

Also? She was born a peasant. So stew on that.