text » un: killjoy

[motivation]

the hells is this and why was it on my doorstep? [ IMAGE ATTACHED ]

if anyone's up for a spar, i could use the exercise

[ never mind that she earns her keep around here by regularly competing in one of the fight clubs... alvis is gone again which means dutch needs the distraction ]

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voice | un: sparkler

[flashystyle]

Now now, a proud mother shouldn't talk about her children that way.

[motivation]

[ hmph. ]

If I catch you laughing, I'll punch you so hard you'll still feel it in a year.

[flashystyle]

Then I shall go into hiding, so it will take you a year to find me instead.

[There's definitely some snickering going on, but please don't punch him.]

You must name it, you know. It can't be "this" forever.

[motivation]

[ she wouldn't actually. she'd glower a lot, though. in fact, she's glowering right now. ]

I don't have to do anything.

[ she's grumbling. she knows she's grumbling. johnny would have named it already. ]

Any suggestions?

[flashystyle]

[He drums his fingers, staring at the image in deep thought.]

... He looks like he could be a Harold. Or George?

[motivation]

Those are terrible.

[flashystyle]

But they're quite fitting.

You should name him after me, if you want the very best name.

[motivation]

I'm not naming it after you, you arrogant sod.

[ she sounds more fond over the insult than anything else. ]

[flashystyle]

You're right. I'm such an arrogant sod, that I'm naming it after me. From here on out, he is Dorian the Second.

[He laughs, with that same fondness. After a moment:]

Shall I bring over some celebratory wine for his wonderful name?

[motivation]

[ the staggering amount of confidence gets a laugh from dutch. ]

Might as well. But if he shits all over you, you only have yourself to blame.

[ dorian II it is. ]

[flashystyle]

If he shits all over me, he's disinherited.

[perfect.]

White or red, my dear?

[motivation]

I bet that'll make him behave.

[ or, y'know, not. ]

Red.

[flashystyle]

I'll be over to see my stunning protégé momentarily. Don't get rid of him before I get there.

[He hums, then hangs up. Sure enough, he's knocking at Dutch's doorstep with a full bottle of wine in hand within half an hour.]