elnysa | video | UN: P5YCH0

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[This video starts with a man's eye. A little bit squinty, a little bit bloodshot, and framed by some kind of...mask?

Krieg pulls back from the device a little bit and yeah, it's definitely a mask.

He's still uncomfortably close (for other people) to the camera, but he doesn't know that, and if he did he wouldn't care. He has important business to discuss.]

The Badass Grandpa owes me a fight and a drink!

I'm ready for both!

Order doesn't matter!!

[Each statement he makes is louder than the one that precedes it. Indoor voices are for other people.

Could he have perhaps private messaged the aforesaid Badass Grandpa instead of broadcasting to the network? Absolutely. Does he realize this? It's hard to say. Would he care if he did? Definitely, absolutely not.]

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[Well, that's... refreshingly to the point??]

Do you mean Mr. Reinhardt?

Really? Because it looks like you're ready to go rob a bank.

[ What's up with the mask, seriously? ]

[ There is a long moment where X'rhun just sort of looks at the camera with confusion.

His mouth opens to speak, but he thinks better of it. He vaguely points to the image of the masked man on the screen, and then himself. Out of habit, he glances over his shoulder, as though the video could be directed at someone behind him instead.

Which obviously it isn't. ]

I'm sorry, but to whom are you referring?

[ There aren't many people here who would qualify as a "badass grandpa", but at least X'rhun is in the right age bracket?? ]

[What the heck, this isn't the badass grandpa--

---wait.]

Yes.

Pfmnahahaha! Bank robbery is only one of the many fine services I offer!

[But is he capable of robbing a bank without a ton of incidental slaughter? That's the real question.]

But I don't want a side-quest right now! I want my fight!

[There is only Battle Grandpa.]

[ This isn't a fucking RPG, Krieg, there are no side-quests. ]

Alright, alright, calm down. What did this guy do to make you wanna punch him so bad anyway?

The Badass Grandpa!

[How can anyone hear the words "badass grandpa" and not immediately think of Reinhardt?]

One eye - [He lifts a hand and drags his thumb down over his own left eye to indicate a scar] - a beard, and muscles for days.

[Do you know anyone who fits that description, sir?]

[~~There are always side-quests if you believe hard enough.~~

He'll calm down when he's dead!!!]

He looks like a badass!

[ She's a non-believer. :( Also a disbeliever, judging by that uncertain look on her face. ]

What, he's eight feet tall and got six knives hanging off him?

[Well, he doesn't know exactly how tall Reinhardt is and he didn't see any knives when they had breakfast together but who knows.]

Maybe! He's taller than me and built like a tank!

This Badass Grandpa,
Looks like he could bench press Brick,
Really big hammer?

HE HAS A HAMMER????????

0mg

It's as big as him.
I watched him fighting with it,
And was quite impressed.

I

NEED

TO

FIGHT

HIM!!!!!

[ You rang? Here he is, the man of the hour. Badass Grandpa. He's grinning and gives a friendly little wave at his camera ]

Hallo. I do owe you that and I am a man of my word. So, I will invite you to come to the arena. I believe that we can borrow it for a few hours. And after, if you can still stand when I am through with you, I'll get you that beer.

[ someone is confident. ]

Oh, I understand,
I would like to fight him too.
He's just really cool.

[he's basically the coolest Krieg THE COOLEST.]

[Krieg is like a little kid on Christmas morning ~~yeah that's right, that's the metaphor i went with~~, fidgeting and impatient.]

Yes yes yes yesyesyesyesyes! Bring the hammer to the slaughter and I'll burn it all to the ground!

[Krieg, what does that...even mean...

Psychos, man.]

YOu should fight him toO!!

[Friendship fights!]

[ Another laugh because you're cute, Kreig. You remind him of his wilder Crusader days ~~you know...if the Crusaders were certifiable~~ ]

Now now, no slaughter or burning anything. It's just a fight between the two of us. No civilians. I won't do it if civilians are involved.

[ Excepting bar fights, because bar fights are different. ]

[~~Santa-Reinhardt-sempai thinks he's cute, kyaaa~~]

The meat-man eats the bullets so the innocents don't have to! The slaughter's only good if the viscera deserves it!

No one dies when it's for fun!

[And that's his really weird way of saying he 100% agrees to these terms. Hopefully that comes through.]

[ He's a tank and a meat-shield too. He totally gets it. ]

Agreed. The innocent and the weak are to be protected. This is not their fight. It is ours. And no one dies. If you can't walk after, I'll just carry you to beer.

[ He's totally doodling something as he's talking and hold a pretty crappy map that's supposed to be the way to the Wyver arenas. There's a little arrow with Krieg's ass kicking HERE written by it. ]

Just follow this map. I'll see you tonight. Just one question for you though. Do you want me in my armor or do you want it a little less one sided?

[He squints at the map Reinhardt holds up, bringing his device closer to his face to get a good look - and he laughs when he sees the written direction. And again at Reinhardt's question.]

Mnahahahahaha!! I want a challenge!

[RIP in pieces, Krieg.]

Don't be late! I hate waiting!

[Waiting for it to be evening is going to be enough of a strain on his very limited patience.]

[ There is a loud laugh all his own. That's the spirit! He likes you lots!! Just what he wanted to hear. ]

A challenge it is then. Just remember that you asked for this. A knight might be about a fair fight, but you wished for it, so it shall be.

I'll be there. At the proper time. Don't worry. I'm always on time. I'm German after all.

What reasons do you have to fight him?

[Is it consensual? Does Atsushi need to intervene?!]

[ That certainly narrows down the pool of possible suspects by a fraction. ]

If he's really built like a tank, then I don't think you're gonna win this fight.

[ Sorry, buddy. ]

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