[ text | un: professorx ]

[axiomed]

I feel as a group of people, we've gone over many of the logistics, the fears and the desire to connect with others. We carry within ourselves, a world that may be long gone but continues to breathe in our hearts and I hope we can bring what is best of all our worlds together.

So my question is this: What kind of plans do you have for yourself? What kind of future do you hope to achieve?

Perhaps by working together, we can all come closer to our goals.

Comments

[axiomed]

Why not? Surely they can't be all that difficult.

[maipokerface]

They're all that disappointing though. And I don't really like disappointment.

[axiomed]

What makes them so disappointing?

[maipokerface]

Because you put hopes into them whether you mean to or not.

[axiomed]

Yes. But is that preferable to no hope at all? Living from moment to moment, feeling like you'll never have what you want?

Hope is harder, but I find it's worth fighting for.

And I'm sure you deserve to have something of your own.

[maipokerface]

... Maybe? I don't think I don't deserve something of my own. I've left things I've wanted a lot because I felt I deserved more than what was given to me.

[What did she want of her own? It was a question Mai had never asked herself since she had left Zuko to his lies and his inability to rely on her.]

But having hope is a pretty bitter thing when it goes unfulfilled. I'm not that sure it's worth chasing anymore.

[axiomed]

We're in a new location. With the chance to start something new for ourselves. Perhaps it's worth at least a try.

[maipokerface]

While everyone else sleeps? While they don't get a chance at that?

[While her little baby brother gets to spend his time in some sort of suspended animation rather than being a kid? Somehow the idea of it just makes her more bitterly angry with the situation.]

[axiomed]

[ A pause. ]

I don't think they'd want you to punish yourself over it. And I certainly don't think it'll help.

[maipokerface]

[Mai takes a moment to press her lips tightly together. She's getting way too emotional over this. She tones it back quickly into her typical apathetic tone.]

... You're right, it wouldn't.

[axiomed]

I know a little of hope and losing it. It never gets easier.

But the alternative is not better either.

[maipokerface]

[There's a bit of bitter amusement to her tone now.]

I always thought it was a little easier on the heart at least.

[axiomed]

I can't deny that.

But I find it leaves the heart empty.

[maipokerface]

There's a lot of things that will do that.

[axiomed]

So why add to it?

[maipokerface]

[Why purposely empty out her heat like that? Why do it to herself? Mai pretty much knows her answer to that instantly.]

Because then I'm the one doing it.

[axiomed]

And because you'll have control?

[maipokerface]

... I guess.

[axiomed]

It's understandable.

[ Charles can admit that much. ]

But it gets harder as time goes on.

[maipokerface]

No kidding.

[A sigh.]

Though I guess now I've got nothing but time to come to grips with that.

[axiomed]

I hope you find a solution for yourself.