elnysa | VIDEO | UN: Trafalgar

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one piece: trafalgar law

VIDEO | UN: Trafalgar

[The video feed that opens up on Law has a bit of a jarring background of metal and glowing screens, a sight many will recognize as the stasis pods aboard Thesa Station. He's taken an excursion in the midst of everyone's weird forest adventure. He's sitting now on the floor of the chamber, back up against one of the control panels to the pods. It's an especially odd place to be, because if you squint you'll notice that there's a chair within view of where he's sat, yet he's still chosen to remain on the cold metal floor.

He doesn't actually speak right away, simply staring blankly at the feed as if he'd turned it on as an afterthought. When he does speak, it's with a heavy bitterness as if he's been wronged in some way. As far as he's concerned, he has been, but he's certainly not going to speak openly about that.]

Do you ever think maybe we're all dead and this is actually hell? I've been thinking about it and I think it explains a lot about our situation.

[Anyone who's met Law before knows that his resting state is looking vaguely tired. Today is different. This isn't even the sleep deprived tiredness he'd had when he was working overtime tending to the injured months ago in the aftermath of the dragon. No, this is something different, an emotional exhaustion, manifesting as a redness around the eyes rather than just his usual dark circles.

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[The slumped posture Law's sitting in seems to get even more pronounced. Damnit, Iskandar, can you not be smooth and charming for just a minute, Law is having a Mood.]

I truly don't understand how you can be so positive all the time.
[This is always true, but especially right now, he cannot possibly fathom where he can pull that confidence from.]

Not all the time. However, I find that because people look up to me and follow me that I should give them a bright path to follow. So they won't get lost along the way.

[He smiles a little and gives a shrug.]

But I still don't think this Hell. Based on the little I know of the concept that would require no pleasures at all and I've had many here.

[There it is again, that pure magnanimous drive, to do and be better for the sake of others. It feels so unreachable for Law, but at the same time that’s exactly what keeps pulling him in. Law lives life with rainclouds in his brain, so when people like Iskandar come along who radiate light and warmth like sun sun, it’s as disorienting as it is intoxicating.]

No, you see, if it was terrible all the time you’d get used to it. You’d get empty inside and nothing that happened to you would even matter. People are adaptable like that.
[A pause, and a soft heavy sigh.]

If you really want people to suffer you have to keep letting them crawl back up before pushing them back down again.
[This is the root of his almost reflexive rejection of anything remotely nice that might happen to him.]

Or perhaps they want you to think that because you're so good at tormenting yourself that they can let you live on without doing any work themselves.

[JUST. SAYING.]

Not everything in life and death is cruelty and misery. Besides, what reason would there to be such pure souls in with the terrible? Is life really going so well for you that you can only believe you're no longer alive?

[Honestly, this is probably the harshest Iskandar has ever been with him. But in some ways that just makes them feel more genuine to Law than all the kind words he's given. But maybe that's just an effect of his own pessimism. He's right, really. But Law's hardly in the mood to actively admit it. But in exchange for Iskandar's efforts, Law's going to try and be open about his feelings for once.]

It's hard to feel like things are going well when I found a man who's thirteen years dead in a stasis pod. [For a split second when he'd found him, he'd been happy. Sure, he was in stasis, but that could well lead to him being alive. But then the cold hand of logic and stoicism had slammed down. For all intents and purposes, nothing had changed. He just had a much more present reminder.]

And it's hard for me to not be dispirited by false hope when I've waded through so much of that "cruelty and misery" as you're referring to.

Edited 2018-11-20 02:46 (UTC)

You are not the only one who has done so, Law. But you are someone who has chosen to despair because of it.

[He sees no reason to sugar coat things with Law. Law deserves better than that in his eyes. So with that said...]

Would you like company?

[Company seems like the healthy thing right now, but if he were honest he'd really just like to lay flat on the floor and contemplate the void. Given that he's already basically done that for a couple hours, he figures he at least shouldn't say that. Especially since it would prove Iskandar's point about choosing to wallow in things. Which.... isn't wrong but it's not in his nature to admit when people have him pegged.

But then he really thinks about it, having Iskandar here. His warmth. He tugs the brim of his had down a little further over his eyes.]

I wouldn't mind it, if it's you.

[He smiles at that. This is definitely progress and he'll take it.]

Give me a few moments and I will be there.

[After all he can basically teleport himself to the area but then he has to find the right pods.]

[Thankfully, though Law had to wander pretty far in to find what he was looking for, he wouldn't have been able to keep it together if he'd stayed there, so the place where he's camped out isn't too far from the entrance. So he won't be hard to find.

He doesn't turn his head or get up from where he's still sat on the floor, but he doesn't have to, the large splash of red and gold in his periphery is enough to identify the man.]

I don't suppose you've found anyone you know in these pods, Iskandar-ya?
[Given how long ago he was actually alive.... then again, the Natha brought him here as a spirit, so who knows how any of this actually works.]

I don't know. I've never looked.

[Lowering himself down, Iskandar sits with him on the floor. Leaning back, he sighs gently.]

This is my first visit actually.

[Law thinks for a moment, about how it must be, to be some sort of disembodied spirit like this. Of course he wouldn’t be concerned with the pods, surely whatever worldly concerns would have vanished along with his physical body. Or maybe it was just a symptom of the way the man lived always facing forward. Something Law couldn’t possibly come to grips with.]

It’s something I’d been putting off. I needed to make sure my crew was all here.
[He’d been afraid that he wouldn’t find them. But no, the Natha had assured their safety as promised. He sighs, allowing his body to slump to the side towards Iskandar when the larger man sits down.]

... I just found more than I bargained for, really.
[It was like he’d seen a ghost, except ghosts aren’t real and this very much was.]

I imagine I might as well if I were to go and look. Honestly I haven't because I felt that the way to honor those that I know would be to not do so. To trust them to be here and safe or simply to honor their memories if they are not.

[Crossing his legs, he rests his hands in his lap for now. There will be time to give Law more affection but for the time being he just wants to offer his presence to him. A chance to have someone there to lean against without being called out for it.

Sometimes, that's just what a person needs. To know someone is there. Those are Iskandar's thoughts on the matter.]

I know my Master came here often to wait for me to wake up though.

[To not have it called out is really what Law needs, since he approaches the vulnerability of physical affection with the trepidation of a startled wild animal. He could dwell on the first comment, worrying after whether the man thinks less of him for not having that same assurance about his own crew, but.... Let's not, for now.

He'll take the chance to change the subject, instead.]

Right, Waver-ya. I've met him. He seems... eager to prove himself.
[That's the impression he got.]

He's better than he was when I first met him.

[He chuckles a bit. He still remembers when his Master first summoned him. How almost disappointing he'd been at the time. So much has changed since that then.]

If he's being more so around you though then I imagine you must be bullying him.

[He doesn't sound mad about that.]

Good. He needs it at times.

[Yeah he's not mad.]

[Law lets out a short laugh. Bullying, sure, maybe a little. He might have tried to deny it, but there's no point with Iskandar being happy with it, for some reason.]

That's a strange thing to want for someone you care about.
[He didn't say he did, but from what little information he has, and what he knows about this man, he's sure it's the case.]

Now I'm wondering if you've been bullying me as well.
[It would explain some things, he thinks.]

Do you think that you need it?

[He doesn't confirm if he has been or not. Though he supposes in a way he has. Pushing Law out of his shell a bit. But really it's all worth it in the end. It has brought him closer to the man.]

I think when you are doing something like that with the intention of love or affection that there is not a lot of harm in it.

... I don't know what I need.
[Said flatly, because it's not cloaked in eight layers of padding and caveats like so much of what Law admits about himself. It's just the honest truth. There's a long pause, where he weighs what he should address next, but all of them seem so very daunting, so he continues to divert;]

Aah, I have to confess my intentions in picking on Waver-ya weren't so benevolent. I just thought it was fun to get a reaction out of him.
[It's like he's trying to get yelled at, or something.]

[He shrugs at the confession.]

I used to smack him around for being stupid and tiny with his desires.

[Basically if you're hoping that Iskandar will yell at you then that's not going to do it, Law.]

[Just wait, he's not done trying yet!!]

What qualifies a desire as "stupid" or "tiny"?
[He feels like revenge might qualify in which case he has another confession.]

His reason for summoning me was to prove that he could essentially. He could not look beyond the childish notion of proving he could do things too.

[This doesn't surprise Law, given what he's gotten from his two conversations with the guy. He definitely seems like someone with something to prove. It's not exactly something that drives Law, personally, but there's definitely been points in his life where he just wanted to leave proof that he existed, in prett drastic ways when he thought he didn't have much time left. But that was a long time ago.]

... I don't think I ever apologized to you for the other day. Getting so drunk you had to take me home.
[And also falling asleep in the middle of... things, but he's not quite ready to talk about that so directly.]

Hm? Why would you need to apologize for that? I got to hold you while you slept!

[He counts that as a win. Then again when it's a slow burn to get Law into this, he counts a lot as a win.]

[He'd been so miserably hungover when he'd woken up the next morning, Law had honestly thought he'd dreamt that. He's not sure if he's glad or mortified to find out it really happened, but Iskandar seems happy about it, so he supposes he should just accept it.]

... I just have the distinct impression that I made a fool of myself.
[He remembers the events of the evening, increasingly vaguely as time went on, but he doesn't have any actual gaps in his memory. Just maybe a bit loose on the details.]

I didn't even get the chance to clean up.
[Not that it was a particularly cluttered living place, with how it wasn't even entirely permanent. Just generally disheveled between scattered papers and the disorganized nest of blankets he kept on his bed]

Bah! I make a fool out of myself all the time. There is no fault in that. Besides, I like your place. Especially the nest of blankets. That reminds me a great deal of how I lived when I was still ruling my lands.

[Of course his beds with pillows and blankets had been grander but that's another matter entirely.]

I'll have to visit again so you can better recall me holding you.

[The very concept that anything about the way he lives could be comparable to that of some grand ancient king is already a lot to process, but then Iskandar has to go turn on the charm again, and now he's just embarrassed. The one consolation is that sitting next to the man, leaning against him, means he doesn't have to look at his face when he says that.]

You can hardly call it making a fool of yourself when you seem to have entirely abandoned the concept of shame.
[As far as he can tell, anyway. That said, he falls quiet for a long moment as he grapples with the many, many mental blocks that make this entire situation so embarrassing and anxiety inducing. Working harder to fight past them hasn't exactly bit him in the ass yet, so he figures he aught to keep at it.]

... For that matter, I don't see why you have to come to my place to do that. I'm right here.
[It's not a direct request by normal standards, but even though he manages to keep his voice level, there's a tenseness in his chest and shoulders that's almost palpable.]

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