[voice-to-text] un: Linneus

[inaurare]

Hello everyone. I've a slightly irregular circumstance I hoped someone might help me with. I debated whether or not I should ask, but-- well, it's been a few days and if-- I suppose if it belongs to someone it's unfair I hold on to it just out of embarrassment.

It's this:

[and here, he attaches an odd image - a photograph of an eggplant, carved out of stone. An unusual subject as stone-carving goes, and certainly an odd thing to be so uncomfortable over that he doesn't seem to want to show his face over the network... but voice to text seems to be doing a great job of catching all of his hesitance over this.

Because the problem is that for Linneus - and only for Linneus - it looks like a giant stone penis.]

It is not the first thing I have had abandoned outside my house, but why this, I haven't much of an idea. There was no note, no explanation, so if anyone could suggest where it might have come from? Whom I might return it to...?

It is a... "distinctive" ornament, so I suppose it's also possible Lula might have taken it.

[which leads to the slightly horrifying thought of Lula proudly running around who-knows where, for who-knows-how-long, holding that]


((tl;dr, Linneus' ACP reward was an enchanted jewellery box shaped like a erection - a dildo of holding, if you will - but only he can see that it's basically a giant phallus. Everyone else sees an eggplant.

Help. Help him.))

Comments

[inaurare]

[please introduce to Linneus this concept, 'salad bar'.]

It was born out of a jest at her expense, admittedly. But she took to it well.

And Lula is a little better in singsong than Lullaby is.

[Lullaby - for her snoring.]

Oh, I don't... you needn't bring anything...

[cassus]

[ He'd eagerly take the other man to a salad-centric buffet if they had those here. And yes, Linn. It'd be a date. ]

Lucky for us that we have those who tolerate our sense of humor.

[ Linn has his egg-baby and Dazai has him, at least when Linneus doesn't call him out on his absurdities. He might deserve it in spades, but Dazai has to let off steam every now and again. Besides, without his penchant for teasing and taunts, who would he even be? ]

Ah, but unfortunately you're too late to stop me.

I've purchased a few things for Lula and yourself, so would you forgive the intrusion if I dropped in?

[ In typical Dazai fashion he poses the offer as if it'll be easily turned down, all while he's loitering but a short distance from Linneus' home. ]

[inaurare]

[This is your idea of a date, Dazai? Lettuce?]

Already? But we were talking...

[he's still not used to multitasking with his device - not one of those people who can text and walk at the same time.]

If it's already done... I suppose it's all right...

[market sales are usually final, and it would be rude now that Dazai has gone to all the effort...]

[cassus]

[ Dazai isn't exactly the steak and lobster type. Even when he had an excessive salary, he'd never made a point of burning through it for a good time. In fact, his fondest memories were those spent with friends at seedy, run-down little places like a hole-in-the-wall bar, where the talk meant more to him than whatever was spent on the cheap liquor.

So, yes. Next he'll be picking you uneven bunches of dirty wildflowers. The absolute cad~. ]

I'll talk with you for as long as you like, once I arrive.

[ The acquiescence is all he needs to end up on Linn's doorstep, arms laden down with groceries for the adults and treats for a certain special egg-baby. It takes some maneuvering on his part, juggling his parcels this way and that, but Dazai eventually manages to knock upon Linn's door. ]

To [Actions]~!

[inaurare]

[the downside of Dazai knowing where he lives - unexpected visits like this one. The upside of Dazai knowing where he lives - Dazai knows where he lives, and is able to drop in for unexpected visits like this one.

He just about has time to stash his puzzling... ornament before he answers the door, nudging Lula aside gently

That... is a great deal of shopping.]

How did you...?