inaurare: (Startled)
inaurare ([personal profile] inaurare) wrote in [community profile] elnysa2018-06-11 04:34 pm

[voice-to-text] un: Linneus

Hello everyone. I've a slightly irregular circumstance I hoped someone might help me with. I debated whether or not I should ask, but-- well, it's been a few days and if-- I suppose if it belongs to someone it's unfair I hold on to it just out of embarrassment.

It's this:


[and here, he attaches an odd image - a photograph of an eggplant, carved out of stone. An unusual subject as stone-carving goes, and certainly an odd thing to be so uncomfortable over that he doesn't seem to want to show his face over the network... but voice to text seems to be doing a great job of catching all of his hesitance over this.

Because the problem is that for Linneus - and only for Linneus - it looks like a giant stone penis.]


It is not the first thing I have had abandoned outside my house, but why this, I haven't much of an idea. There was no note, no explanation, so if anyone could suggest where it might have come from? Whom I might return it to...?

It is a... "distinctive" ornament, so I suppose it's also possible Lula might have taken it.


[which leads to the slightly horrifying thought of Lula proudly running around who-knows where, for who-knows-how-long, holding that]


((tl;dr, Linneus' ACP reward was an enchanted jewellery box shaped like a erection - a dildo of holding, if you will - but only he can see that it's basically a giant phallus. Everyone else sees an eggplant.

Help. Help him.))
thetaintedsorrow: (Portrait)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-11 05:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Proud...

Kinda resembles a dick tbh.
thetaintedsorrow: (Point)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-11 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe as a joke?

Or a sex toy.

Either way.
thetaintedsorrow: (:3)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-11 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[SNORT.]

It’s that big in person, huh?

No idea. Atsushi got a naked statue randomly, so maybe the Natha have a sense of humor.
thetaintedsorrow: (Fashion baby)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-11 08:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Like some pervy stonemason? Maybe.

Anyway, what’re you gonna do if you don’t find the owner?
thetaintedsorrow: (Look up)

NSFW for CRASS LANGUAGE

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-11 09:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Sure. Cock ring toss. Why not?

I mean maybe you could sell it. People love weird art shit.
thetaintedsorrow: (So what you’re saying is)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-11 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[He lives to entertain. Okay not really but he does enjoy making people laugh. When it’s not at his expense, at least.]

Maybe, haha.

Oh, maybe you could donate it to Shades Darker. Might be fun decor.
thetaintedsorrow: (Let’s do this)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-12 06:53 am (UTC)(link)
I don’t actually know, but it’s worth a shot, right?

If anything I might take it off your hands and leave it in someone’s bed as a prank.
thetaintedsorrow: (Dayum)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-12 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
[He could make so many crude, nasty jokes right now...]

This just makes me sad that good toys are hard to come by here. But maybe I’m not looking hard enough.
thetaintedsorrow: (I told you so)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-12 08:33 am (UTC)(link)
You’d be surprised.

And yeah, it’s pretty much just a really ugly paperweight.
thetaintedsorrow: (Content)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-12 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Fair enough.

Too bad the naked statue Atsushi got wasn’t to my tastes.
thetaintedsorrow: (Red smile)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-12 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
In a manner of speaking.

Hm? Symbol?
thetaintedsorrow: (Ribbon)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-13 12:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this~?

It just means whoever it is is talking in a teasing sort of tone.
Edited 2018-06-13 12:36 (UTC)
thetaintedsorrow: (Dayum)

[personal profile] thetaintedsorrow 2018-06-13 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Yup.

But now I know you were teasing me, so I’ll have to return the favor in the future.

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It’s all good!

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