[voice-to-text] un: Linneus
Hello everyone. I've a slightly irregular circumstance I hoped someone might help me with. I debated whether or not I should ask, but-- well, it's been a few days and if-- I suppose if it belongs to someone it's unfair I hold on to it just out of embarrassment.
It's this:
[and here, he attaches an odd image - a photograph of an eggplant, carved out of stone. An unusual subject as stone-carving goes, and certainly an odd thing to be so uncomfortable over that he doesn't seem to want to show his face over the network... but voice to text seems to be doing a great job of catching all of his hesitance over this.
Because the problem is that for Linneus - and only for Linneus - it looks like a giant stone penis.]
It is not the first thing I have had abandoned outside my house, but why this, I haven't much of an idea. There was no note, no explanation, so if anyone could suggest where it might have come from? Whom I might return it to...?
It is a... "distinctive" ornament, so I suppose it's also possible Lula might have taken it.
[which leads to the slightly horrifying thought of Lula proudly running around who-knows where, for who-knows-how-long, holding that]
((tl;dr, Linneus' ACP reward was an enchanted jewellery box shaped like a erection - a dildo of holding, if you will - but only he can see that it's basically a giant phallus. Everyone else sees an eggplant.
Help. Help him.))
It's this:
[and here, he attaches an odd image - a photograph of an eggplant, carved out of stone. An unusual subject as stone-carving goes, and certainly an odd thing to be so uncomfortable over that he doesn't seem to want to show his face over the network... but voice to text seems to be doing a great job of catching all of his hesitance over this.
Because the problem is that for Linneus - and only for Linneus - it looks like a giant stone penis.]
It is not the first thing I have had abandoned outside my house, but why this, I haven't much of an idea. There was no note, no explanation, so if anyone could suggest where it might have come from? Whom I might return it to...?
It is a... "distinctive" ornament, so I suppose it's also possible Lula might have taken it.
[which leads to the slightly horrifying thought of Lula proudly running around who-knows where, for who-knows-how-long, holding that]
((tl;dr, Linneus' ACP reward was an enchanted jewellery box shaped like a erection - a dildo of holding, if you will - but only he can see that it's basically a giant phallus. Everyone else sees an eggplant.
Help. Help him.))
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Kinda resembles a dick tbh.
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[and you might imagine Linneus is frowning at it over the top of his device]
Why might one keep a stone statue of an-- eggplant?
[sort of slurring from one word into the other - "e-eggplant", but thank goodness for voice-to-text]
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Or a sex toy.
Either way.
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But if it were a joke - who would set it as a joke?
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It’s that big in person, huh?
No idea. Atsushi got a naked statue randomly, so maybe the Natha have a sense of humor.
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[and he can't see any wisdom of making one out of stone...]
Could it have originated from the same person, possibly?
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Anyway, what’re you gonna do if you don’t find the owner?
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[no way is he letting anyone see this in person.]
I've no use for it, frankly. If no one comes to claim it, it will likely be got rid of.
What would I be able to use it for, really? Some strange game of hoop-la?
NSFW for CRASS LANGUAGE
I mean maybe you could sell it. People love weird art shit.
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Perhaps the cock rings will be delivered on a different day.
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Maybe, haha.
Oh, maybe you could donate it to Shades Darker. Might be fun decor.
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Do they usually accept donations - and of this manner...? That is highly unusual.
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If anything I might take it off your hands and leave it in someone’s bed as a prank.
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This just makes me sad that good toys are hard to come by here. But maybe I’m not looking hard enough.
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I never knew you had an... interest. But I wouldn’t consider this a good one by any means...!
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And yeah, it’s pretty much just a really ugly paperweight.
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Too bad the naked statue Atsushi got wasn’t to my tastes.
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[he's teasing. Apparently the device knows it, but...]
I'm not sure what that symbol is for.
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Hm? Symbol?
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Yes, a sort of squiggle. We don't use it where I'm from.
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It just means whoever it is is talking in a teasing sort of tone.
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[that's what he was going for - he just never realised there was a way to convey it in text.]
I'd never seen it before, so I wasn't sure what it stood for.
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But now I know you were teasing me, so I’ll have to return the favor in the future.
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It’s all good!