text; un: gamora

[godslay]

A Public Service Announcement:

Star-Lord is the handsomest, funniest, most modest guy around with the sweetest singing voice and the sickest dance moves. It’s an absolute privilege and delight to call him a friend. My days are enriched for knowing him and fuller for speaking with him.

Everyone adores him. They think he’s a righteous dude.





P.S. – Gamora, you shouldn’t leave your comm lying around unlocked. xoxo Star-Lord

Comments

[beatupgrass]

[UM. maybe you shouldn't talk about DRAX when he isn't around to defend himself.]

Sarcasm is just how normal people communicate with you. It's a natural defense mechanism.

[nostalgiabomb]

But it's also, like, a valid form of humor.

I mean, obviously Gamora's not gonna be telling any jokes that start with, "Two guys walk into a bar," but she's still way funny when she wants to be, so.

[beatupgrass]

Oh, but you're not biased at all.

[nostalgiabomb]

—What? I'm not.

It's just, you know. There are different ways of being funny, that's all I'm saying.

[beatupgrass]

Let's get back to the point at hand.

Which is Gamora's immediate displeasure with your shenanigans.

[nostalgiabomb]

I mean, I can already see that for myself. Doesn’t seem like we should really belabor the point.

In fact, I think you’re just trying to get the heat off yourself, ‘cause you’re worried I’m gonna say something like, “Gamora is funnier than you.”

[beatupgrass]

Y'know the crazy part is you actually believe that, and it's so schmaltzy I can't even be offended by it.

[nostalgiabomb]

It’s okay, man.

Listen, if it helps? I think you’re both equally funny.

And I also think neither of you have anything on the charismatic power house that is Drax the Destroyer.

[beatupgrass]

.... I mean yeah, dude. That’s just common sense.

[nostalgiabomb]

Yeah.

Like, Drax is definitely at the top of the hierarchy.

Then me. Obviously.

Then you and Gamora are, like, a distant third.

Super distant. Phenomenally distant.

Like, I can't stress enough how significant this gap is.

[beatupgrass]

Yeah, that checks out. I do find myself laughing at you all the time.

video; @star-lord

[nostalgiabomb]

[ Oh, what’s this? A video chat? Hey, maybe Peter found something interesting to share with Rocket! Maybe it's a cool weapon or a neat mural or some person with a dumb haircut that Peter wants to show-off so they can both laugh about it?

—Oh. Uh. None of that. Apparently Peter just wanted video so he could flip Rocket the bird. ]