video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly is on screen, looking pained and unhappy. ]

Nom de Dieu, I'm bored. Let's start some gossip.

Tell me - this question goes out to everyone - who's the worst person here? Or if that doesn't work, tell me who you like best. Or - mm - at least tell me who you've been secretly eyeing. Or just make up a salacious rumor, I don't care, just tell me something fun.

Comments

[vorrutyer]

It's true. As you can see, I've completely collapsed into a miserable heap, unable to carry on. Say, who do you suppose is the smartest of us?

[dendarii]

You must really be bored if you're asking me that.

[vorrutyer]

No, please, give me your opinion, "sire." I know you always thought very highly of yourself when we were children. I seem to recall, as a matter of fact, you sniffling and shuffling your feet and mumbling about much better you were than the rest of us...

[ This memory may or may not be remotely accurate. ]

[dendarii]

[ Well. Neither is it completely inaccurate. Miles has a hell of an ego, oh yes. But he won't take the bait today. ]

Lady Jessica, then.

[vorrutyer]

Ooh. Condescending.

[dendarii]

How so?

[vorrutyer]

You don't actually think it.

[dendarii]

... Why not?

[vorrutyer]

What has Mademoiselle Jessica done that has so impressed you?

[dendarii]

She thinks you're the worst, for starters. Pretty damn smart.

[vorrutyer]

Condescension, milord. You're falsely flattering her just in an attempt to insult me.

[dendarii]

You think I can't multitask?

[vorrutyer]

Ah, so you admit to being a false flatterer.

[dendarii]

I admit to providing a genuine compliment while simultaneously insulting you.

[vorrutyer]

And yet you can't name a single instance of cleverness aside from detesting me. Honestly, sire, I don't know whether to be flattered that your contempt is so pervasive or to be disappointed that you have such a simplistic view of intellect.

[dendarii]

She's sensible in other ways.

[vorrutyer]

Such as...?

[dendarii]

Ways I needn't describe because they're apparent just talking to her.

And I'm really not going to expend any more energy in just fucking around with you.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, dear. Have I offended my Emperor?

[dendarii]

No, no. I'm just bored too.

[vorrutyer]

And so you decide to alleviate your boredom by coming and sneering at your poor, innocent, humble servant. Poor Byerly, who has never done anything to harm your Imperial Majesty, but who has always been a good and self-effacing and self-sacrificing slave to the camp stool.

[dendarii]

Yes.

[vorrutyer]

Poor Byerly, who would be put to death if he said a single word against your Imperial person.

[dendarii]

[ He rolls his eyes at that. ]

Oh yes, that's me. Putting people to death all the time.

[vorrutyer]

Come now, sire, I've seen the holo-vids. Emperors who look like you are always wicked.