001 Text | UN: M.Edgeworth | A public apology.

[milesedgelord]

Good morning all,

Due to the technical difficulties that had taken place over the network yesterday, some of you may have received some rather...questionable photos from me. Please accept my sincere apology for sending them, It was sent in error, and wasn't meant to be interpreted as sexual in nature. If you have received such a text or photo from me, please kindly delete it. I am not the sort of man who sends unsolicited pictures to strangers.

I am aware that once something is out there on the network it is there forever.

[The way he worded that made the incriminating pictures sound far worse than they actually were.]

I can appreciate how upsetting it must have been to see them and how disappointed you must be given the consequences of my actions and the trouble I have caused.

Please be assured that I have taken all the necessary measures so that this type of mistake never happens again. I deeply regret it ever having happened at all and I am willing to do whatever it takes to correct the situation.

Thank you for your time and patience,
Sincerely,
Miles Edgeworth.

Comments

[dendarii]

Your "best friend," eh. Not at all a romantic best friend?

[milesedgelord]

[He did not ask to be called out like this.]

What?! Why?! What would even give you such a preposterous notion?!

[dendarii]

The fact that you intended to send him pictures that you are now issuing a public apology for.

[milesedgelord]

[Shit. He got him.]

Fine. Yes, it is a best friend for whom I have a romantic interest in. Though the sexual nature of the photos in question has been grossly misconstrued.

[All of this just incriminates him further. Why must a simple romantic gesture end up being this ridiculous mess?]

[dendarii]

[ Oh this is just delightful. Sorry other Miles, this Miles is having a grand old time. ]

I see. Does he know about your interest? I certainly hope so.

[milesedgelord]

Yes. He's aware. However, things are rather complicated at the moment, so I'm doing my best not to pressure him.

[dendarii]

[ Oh. All right, he'll be a little more sympathetic then. ]

Ah, in that case. Don't let me make things awkward for you two. I'm just delighted by such things in general.

[milesedgelord]

That... is kind of you. I wish I could say the same. Things of a romantic nature tend to elude my understanding.

This is honestly the first time I've been dealing with this type of thing and I wish I had more of an idea of the general protocol I'm decidedly lacing in.

[dendarii]

Your first time with a relationship in general?

[milesedgelord]

In a non-platonic relationship. Yes. I know its a bit ridiculous considering my age.

[dendarii]

Come now, it can't be that bad. How old are you?

[milesedgelord]

I am thirty-five. Shameful I know. Most men are well aware of how to handle such things by now. I was married to my work in a sense before this and had little time to contemplate a relationship.

[dendarii]

[ Er. That. Is quite a bit older than Miles was expecting. There's a long pause between replies this time. ]

Then - I apologize for being a bit crass, but - you've never had any romantic relationships? At all?

[ He's asking if you're a virgin, Edgeworth. ]

[milesedgelord]

How would being asked about being in a relationship be crass? No, I've never dated anyone.

[Miles was a bit obtuse. Other Miles may have to be more direct.]

[dendarii]

[ Sigh. Sorry, other Miles. He tried to spare you. ]

Then you've never had sex.

[milesedgelord]

Oh.


I have. Only twice, and that was within the last four months. With the aforementioned friend.

[dendarii]

[ Miles has to take a moment to picture that. To be thirty-four (or even thirty-five, perhaps) and still not have had sex yet. For all that Miles decries his own appearance ... he sure has gotten laid more than that. A lot more. ]

And now the relationship, I see. Well - there are worse things to start off with, I suppose. I could give you some advice?

[milesedgelord]

Thank you...Yes, I suppose any advice on the matter would be appreciated. I have no idea what to do with any of this.

[dendarii]

How long has it been going on? Just those few months?

[milesedgelord]

Sexually? Since November. But I've probably held latent yearnings for him close to fifteen years now. The sex just brought those things to the forefront.

[dendarii]

[ Good god. Miles feels kind of bad for this guy now. ]

And him? Similar, or just now figuring it out?

[milesedgelord]

He feels the same, but there is someone else in the picture. Another person he had slept with. He was open about the entire encounter and that he needed to the time to sort things out.

It turns out that this other person is a close friend of mine as well.

...And one I may have accidentally kissed once.

It's all a mess.

[This whole thing sounded so damn stupid when he said it out loud. Almost juvenile.]

[dendarii]

[ Poor Edgeworth. Miles feels bad for him, truly. Normally he wouldn't even be this blasé about it, but - well, when it's not him or people from his own world, it's easy to lean into his more liberal side. ]

Have you considered a threesome?

[milesedgelord]

[Miles is not the first person to suggest such a thing. It did seem like the easiest option available.]

I have. However, I don't think the third party would be interested in such a proposal. There are too many emotions and hurt feelings involved.

Plus, I barely know what I'm doing with one person. How could I ever manage two?

[dendarii]

It is rather more complex, from what I understand. All right, I won't suggest it again.

[ A brief pause. ]

Have you gone out on a date yet?