video | un: Priorly (old man yells at clouds)

[priorly]

[After a cluster of days spent surfing park benches, with sleep only a brief and unwelcome interruption, Prior has finally made it to the space station. He comes onto the screen, a black shadow in a gleaming hallway: if he looks like death on a mission to avenge itself, that is the intended effect. It may be more Norma Desmond descending a staircase, but that's not far off, either. He's still clutching a cane just to hold himself upright. His voice is raspy but loud, and just a few notes higher pitched than it should be.]

Is everyone back from the dead now? Good. Wouldn't want our new arrivals seeing the aftereffects of that little mess, would we. How good that our merciful overseers can let us go through days of torture, days of agony, let our skin slough off and our eyes burn out, let us choke on gas until we suffocate from it, then kindly bring us back so we can all do it again next time someone in this sadistic little shithole gets a fresh bee in their bonnet.

You know - on earth - I always had trouble with the idea of a non-interventionist God. But non-interventionist omnipotent aliens? Well goddamn. Fuck that. Fuck them.

Oh, they can play with the native's minds so a talking racoon looks like business as usual, but they can't stop them wanting to kidnap us?

They can see everything we do and they can't tell our fucking friends where we are?

What is the point of them, then? What's the point of any of this? They haven't rescued us from any storm, they've just left us stranded on a tiny, hostile island, wondering whether our little bit of sand is going to wash away before or after the natives get around to eating us.

Well I am tired and I am sick and I am through with this bullshit. Was anyone else told they'd look after our loved ones for us? Because I have loved ones down there now, and they were not looked after well. Maybe I should let a few of the next-to-wake know exactly how reassuring all those promises look now.

I don't know what to do, but it seems to me that we're being hung out to dry down there, and someone needs to do something. So I'm going to start by finding one of these assholes and seeing what happens.

Comments

[beatupgrass]

That tree dude is a dick. He deserves to be the weird one.

[HE IS A FALSE PROPHET AND TAKES THE NAME OF GOOD, DECENT TREE PEOPLE IN VAIN. Rocket's not bitter about Groot- you're bitter about Groot. Huff puff.]

For the record, Celestials aren't required to listen to logic and reason, no matter how pissy you get when you lay out said logic and reason. Best save your breath, and take care of your own.

[priorly]

I've only had the pleasure from a distance. I'll keep it in mind.

[No one wants false prophets giving the real ones a bad name. Sorry about your personal tree, tho.]

If I could've taken care of my own I wouldn't need to ask them to help. That is the problem.

[beatupgrass]

Then get better at it, 'cause you ain't gonna get any help from them.

[ice cold...

which is, unfortunate, because he's still kind of shaken by ice and cold.]

[priorly]

So people who haven't ever asked keep telling me. And maybe I'm stubborn, or stupid, but it hasn't put me off trying yet.

[beatupgrass]

The reason I haven't asked is 'cause I've dealt with jackasses like them, only worse. [suddenly thoughtful] And blew him up, actually...

[That has not for sure happened yet.]

[priorly]

You blew them up. And people are telling me I'm going in too hard.

[Rocket, you're working hard on regaining your weirdest status by going from talking racoon to talking racoon and munitions expert. Just saying.]

What did you mean by 'celestials?'

[beatupgrass]

[I MEAN.....]

Celestials. Gods. Whatever the Natha are callin' themselves, it's the same basic thing. And, to be fair, I only blew the last guy up 'cause he was trying to destroy the universe before the Storm beat 'em to it.

[priorly]

Oh. Well.

[He'll never be used to this place, never. And he's been screwed by an angel.]


...Extenuating circumstances.

[beatupgrass]

[Touched by an angel jokes go here!!]

Not for nothin', but I'm entertaining the idea that these guys have an actual connection to the planet and that's why they're so frickin' obsessed with this one.