elnysa | 002 - audio; un: mad-dog

[There's a bit of rustling and grumbling as Majima tries to set up his communicator; he doesn't use it as often as he should, so jumping back into a public posting has something of a learning curve. Finally, he clears his throat and gets down to business.]

So one crazy party made everyone on this planet real goddamn tense for the past few weeks. Thought they were used to that kinda thing.

Anyway, I don't really get this place's politics, but I do know it's been tough to get a place to stay in Olympia lately if you're livin' in Wyver. I don't really give a shit where you live, and I got an open couch, so if you need somewhere to crash for a day or two, I'm offerin'.

[He switches briefly to video, just to show the main room of his rather humble apartment, where a living room breaks off into a kitchenette. The only real decorations are an overflowing ashtray and a weird cookie jar on the kitchen counter.]

It ain't much, but you'll have it to yourself most nights. I work until last call. Just drop a line if you're interested. Er, only one person a night, obviously.

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Well, if you're offering how could I say no? It's not like anyone I've tried talking to for board will give me the time of.

[However if she suddenly sounds uneasy....well.]

I do have a request though. Can I put the...odd dwarf thing you've got in your kitchen somewhere else at night? Like another room or a locked box even?

... What's with the. Thing.

[What is it exactly?]

The way people are acting, you'd think the party was the first step in an act of war.

[ but who knows... that could be how they do things here. and as for that cookie jar... ]

Looks like you've already got at least one guest with you.

[ is that thing possessed? ]

Is that supposed to be a gnome?? [ SO OFFENSIVE. ]

How are you doing, former roomie?

And yet it's not the most disastrous party I've ever been to.

You too, huh? All over a few fuckin' pins.

[He scoffs. It's ironic that the significance of badges in your lapel have suddenly decided to follow him here.]

Huh? I mean, if you want, but it's just a cookie jar.

I know I don't got a lotta shit in here, but you're gonna have to be more specific than that.

Haven't they been at war before this? People around here are pretty tight lipped about history.

[A pause, because in a paranoid flash, Majima assumes people are seeing something he's not-- but no.]

Look, I didn't pick it out.

Not the pile of trash, the other thing.

[... Oh well that's no more descriptive either.]

The tiny person.

[Is it a person?]

Think so? Maybe a dwarf?

[God, he should have thrown it out after he finished the cookies.]

But I ain't doin' too bad. Clearly don't got a green thumb around anymore, though.

Wild don't always mean a disaster.

[That is the wry tone of too much experience.]

But guess it ended up one, considering how people are actin'.

[A harsh sigh. He figured that would signal his place is smoker friendly, but everybody's a critic.]

It's a cookie jar. What about you, you an interior decorator?

[Not angry, just. Slightly annoyed, partially at himself for leaving the stupid thing in plain sight.]

He's too small for a dwarf.

That's good! If you ever start missing the plants, you can always visit me! I even have a garden now. A proper one. Not just a bunch of pots.

When it comes to weird jars? Maybe.

[For her part, Mai just mostly sounds curious. They sure as heck don't have those kinds of jars in the Fire Nation after all.]

is your friend gonna be there?

[ he means the... whatever that thing is. ]

You ought to charge. You could make a fine profit that way.

Seems so. I thought it was all in good sport, I didn't think people would take it so serious to cause this much of a stink about it.

[She pauses to give an irritated sigh at yet another Olympia local muttering something about Wyver. She does sound a little surprised when she responds again though.]

You mean it doesn't bother you? I feel like its staring straight through to my soul.

Gotta say, almost regretting drinkin' you under the table.

[Is that how that went? It's a bit blurry, but that could be how that went.]

It's a little weird, yeah. Not in the habit of tossin' gifts, though.

If you're lookin' to crash, I can put it somewhere else.

Hey, don't people like the pots look these days? Makes your place look rustic.

But where's it at? Apparently I need to brighten the place up if anyone wants to stop by.

[A long sigh, one Majima realizes it's about the jar again. It's part relief, when he reads a name he doesn't recognize.]

Everybody's real fixated on this thing. He really that weird?

I ain't hurtin' for money that bad, you know.

Thanks. With everyone else being jerks, it's nice to see someone pleasant for a change.

I'm glad to hear it. My point still stands.

Then again, I suppose it's hypocritical of me to advise such a thing when I take advantage of a friend's kindness for free myself.

[Majima scoffs.]

You ain't take takin' advantage of nothin'. [Which reminds him--] You go to Wyver every once in a while, right?

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