002 - audio; un: mad-dog

[hannya]

[There's a bit of rustling and grumbling as Majima tries to set up his communicator; he doesn't use it as often as he should, so jumping back into a public posting has something of a learning curve. Finally, he clears his throat and gets down to business.]

So one crazy party made everyone on this planet real goddamn tense for the past few weeks. Thought they were used to that kinda thing.

Anyway, I don't really get this place's politics, but I do know it's been tough to get a place to stay in Olympia lately if you're livin' in Wyver. I don't really give a shit where you live, and I got an open couch, so if you need somewhere to crash for a day or two, I'm offerin'.

[He switches briefly to video, just to show the main room of his rather humble apartment, where a living room breaks off into a kitchenette. The only real decorations are an overflowing ashtray and a weird cookie jar on the kitchen counter.]

It ain't much, but you'll have it to yourself most nights. I work until last call. Just drop a line if you're interested. Er, only one person a night, obviously.

Comments

[hannya]

That's one thing I don't kid about, Iz. Gotta stake my professional reputation on it, y'know.

But look, all it gave me was cookies. Can't really hate it for that.

[seagoing]

Maybe I should have challenged you in something different then, like a good brawl or something that didn't leave me slightly woozy the next day. I think it's thanks to you I dealt with my first hangover in years.

[She gives her best attempt at sounding put out about it before she laughs, giving herself away.]

Well, that's unexpected. Were they good? No...funny feeling after eating them right?

[hannya]

Well, if they ever put us in the same bracket at the fight club, that comes with built in bets, don't it?

[As for the cookies, he hums briefly in thought.]

I mean, they were a little tough, but homemade tastes better anyway. Didn't hurt me any.

[seagoing]

True. I'll be looking forward to any future matchups then. I've been wanting to get my hands on you and see what you can do.

[Meant mostly in the purest of terms...mostly.]

Can't say I've had the pleasure of having any from scratch, but I'll believe you if you say so. As long as they were made with love and nothing supernatural I'll be at ease knowing the thing isn't looking at me.

[hannya]

Well, you can do that whenever. Just can't place any bets on it.

[He knows better than pure in her presence at this point.]

Man. Dunno what to think of a world that didn't have cookies, I gotta say.

[seagoing]

Can I now? Careful not to get a girl's hopes up too high. I mean it's nice practice to stay in top form, it's good to stay flexible and quick on the draw just in case. Doing my part to keep you in yours is just a bonus.

[She laughs, because what she's referring to at this point is honestly anyone's guess.]

Don't be silly. Of course we had cookies where I came from, I've just never had the pleasure of getting any made specifically for me.

[hannya]

[Majima likes guessing, in this case, so he doesn't mind.]

With all the admirers you've got, that's surprisin'. I'd offer, but I can barely make instant lunches without burning 'em.

[seagoing]

You and I both know any admirers I have want to give me more than just cookies. Which I mean, sex is pretty nice but even a sandwich would be appreciated every once in a while.

[A nice roast, or a lavish dinner? Almost better than sex honestly.]

At least you can do that much, I'm used to either eating out or eating whatever will stay good on a ship. Usually jerky.

[hannya]

I'll try and stock the fridge, then. I like junk food and all, but jerky's overdoin' it.

[seagoing]

Well, it wasn't just jerky. Plenty of bread and ale too but jerky lasted the longest. Not like we could stop and restock whenever we wanted to away from shore after all.

[Rice, jerky, ale and a lot of booze. The seafarers diet.]

You can buy whatever you want, I'm not too picky when it comes down to it. I owe you one for giving me a place to stay anyway.

[hannya]

So far, you're just provin' all the stereotypes but eyepatches an parrots are true.

[There's a smile in his voice until she mentions being indebted to him.]

Ain't nothin' like that. Just picking up the natives' slack, that's all.

[seagoing]

Don't forget the hook hands. Sounds exciting, but it would be highly useless in the middle of a fight or managing a ship. Even the most outlandish tales have some nugget of truth to them.

[The eyepatches might be true for example, less so the wooden legs. She laughs just imaging it.]

Well it's in my favor so I'm grateful is all, it's nothing too noble. I'd offer to buy a bottle of whiskey for you but I'd imagine you've got your place more than well stocked.

[hannya]

Eh, I could make it work.

[Theoretically. If he made one eye viable, he could probably swing that.]

Hey, I'm not gonna spit on a gift like that. I leave the top shelf stuff at work.

[seagoing]

Versatile, I like that. You've already got the advantage for looking like one over me, I bet you could pull it off.

[The image of him turning away people from the bar with a threatening hook for a hand is more than amusing.]

Where's the fun in that? Nothing wrong in indulging at home with a glass of something nice. You'll have a drink with me if I bring drinks, right?