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un: spiderguy

( the username might not be familiar to most, since it isn't used often and usually only with those that already know about who spider-man is. these are unusual circumstances, though, and require a little flexibility. )

yo, spider-man here

( absolutely just ... puts that out there, like it's a perfectly normal name that no one should have questions about. )

usually this sort of thing isn't a team sport for me, but, hey. old spiders can apparently learn new tricks. or try? this is me, trying.

so i here i am on a midnight stroll at flona cove, i love me some romantic walks alone on the beach,
and to my astonishment just offshore there are what look like pirates (a few hats w feathers but what gave them away was the guy with the eye patch) making off like... well, pirates? i guess? with caches i know for a fact they didn't dig up
there's lots of these guys. 30 or more. and while i'm used to the solo thing, maybe this is more like a 2 person job.
3. maybe 3.

any takers? and more importantly, how fast can you get here

( he will take questions and concerns while he's at it. shoot. text only though, please... he's trying to go incognito. )

Comments

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yeah, I'd agree with that. there's a reason I go by Spider-Man and not Officer Spider-Man.

( he works outside the law, most of the time, even if he's not trying to work against them necessarily. )

movies are....... hard to explain, sort of like the video feature, where it's a moving recorded image, only with actors and scripts and that sort of thing?

...aaaaaaand are you telling me you are an actual pirate. am I reading this correctly

[seagoing]

Interesting name choice by the way, didn't know if I wanted to bring it up or not. I'd been guessing you were just a big fan of spiders.

So it's like actors in a play, or bards singing tales in taverns then? That makes a little more sense.

Used to be. I'm not much of one at the moment without a crew or a ship, but that does mean I usually know how they go about things. I can tell you the parts that mention constantly drinking is true though. Pirates love their ale.

[She isn't not a pirate either though, it just doesn't carry as much weight when there's nothing to show for it.]

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it is mostly to do with my spider powers, but I gotta say that was a really good guess.

right, exactly. sort of like they filmed that and played it on a huge 40ft screen

I can see how piracy would be hard without a ship... not sure if you could commandeer one from this many guys, either, but maybe??? that'd be pretty awesome, even though I should probably be taking a harder stance against stealing right about now...

( way to send mixed messages, peter... )

[seagoing]

You're more than welcome to keep them all to yourself then. But now I'm really curious, what exactly does spider powers entail?

Ahh, I see. That sounds a little ridiculously large though, any point to it's size?

Depending on if their worth their salt or not I probably could, but there are actually protocols for these kinds of things. You can't just kill a man and steal his ship, there's no honor in that. There at least has to be some kind of bargain or a bet of some sort to gain it for yourself. Contrary to belief pirates don't steal everything you know.

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sort of what you'd expect. climbing on walls. weirdly strong for my size. that sort of thing

I can tell you it has 3 masts. does that help?? as for a square foot estimate... that'd take getting closer

the pirates I know are the worst kind, then. honor and protocol are my kinda lingo. you don't run as a vigilante following all the rules, but I like to think I have honor and protocol. maybe not so much the last one but the first one for sure.

[seagoing]

Do you also like to make webs in inconvenient places for people to run into, or were you spared that affliction?

That's good enough for me, it's a shame a ship that nice is wasted on them.

Sounds like it. Any respectable person out on the sea follows a code of honor, it would be too frustrating to sail the seas without it. You'd have way too many mutinies and no respect for anyone with any sort of rank to their name for starters.

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I mean, sometimes? I don't like to limit myself,
sometimes a good web trap is handy. but.... I didn't make the web, so maybe that's cheating

yeah? shame pirates get such a bad rap for being lawless swashbucklers, then

#notallpirates, I can respect codes. these guys, if they have one, it needs revising. there's gotta be better people to steal from than miners that work so hard.

[seagoing]

Ever do it just for fun? I would anyway, that sounds like a nice setup for a good prank or two anyway..

See there's the thing. There's nothing wrong with being a lawless swashbuckler, it's the ones with no morals and an aversion to direction that make us all look bad. Trust me when I say there's always one rotten apple in the bunch.

These sound no different. If you're going to steal from someone at least take from someone with heavier pockets, they're far less likely to miss it. Taking from the poor undeserved like this makes them seem like no less than unorganized thieves than actual pirates.

[Nevermind her own history of stealing things for better or worse but details....]

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i try and use my spider powers for good, not evil. pranks are definitely balancing on that gray area... (but yes, they can be handy, i won't lie)

you sound like the robin hood of pirates. i can kind of appreciate that. i don't have a hat but if i did it would be off to you.

[seagoing]

There's no harm in a little fun right? Breaks up monotony of working so hard, and a good laugh can turn around any awful day.

You flatterer. Being a captain makes you hold people to a certain standard is all, even if mine were a bit rigid in places. Had a fancy hat too. I'm fond of the ones with feathers, typical as that probably is.

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exactly. sometimes you need the laugh, especially if the world is on fire around you.

standards are important if you want to be more than average, as a wise man used to tell me. and if I see any feathered caps around, I'll see that you get a new one.

[seagoing]

You know, I like the way you think. Even in the worst situations there's time for giggles, keeps your head above water.

My crew usually preferred to drink or spend a night at the brothel for fun, far better than stealing things that aren't even all that valuable from hard working people. Also, if you find any in red or blue let me know. I tend to look good in those.

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i am often told my humor is out of place.
it probably is. but it is an emotional crutch and i am committed to it now.

red and blue? you don't know this about me, but that's my favorite color scheme. i will definitely keep an eye out for you.

[seagoing]

Well I think it's amusing, but I'm not exactly one to talk either. I don't often do pranks but I'll always laugh at a well timed one or a good joke, especially a dirty one. Humor's just as good as any carnal vices anyway.

You're sweet. Blue is a favorite color of mine, but I've learned I don't look too bad in red either. I'm sure you pull off both quite well if you like them so much.

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it's good to be able to laugh. life doesn't always make it easy to be happy, so take advantage when you can.

no comment on that, but i like it all the same. if I see any pirates in blue, I will assume it is.. well i don't know your name, but i'll guess it is you.

[seagoing]

Exactly. Avoid all the touchy politics, stick to what you do best and have fun doing it. Keep that in mind and you'll go far out in the world. You've got a good head on your shoulders.

Isabela. If I see any...spiders? Spiderlike men, I'll be pretty sure its you. The blue and red will just make it easier to know for sure.

Oh, and some advice for your pirate problem. If you can't manage to get any reinforcements then take them out one at a time if you can, but go for the one who's obviously drunk first. There's always at least one who can't hold their liquor, and they usually happen to be the loudest.

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red and blue and spider-like is definitely a dead giveaway. maybe you will see me around 👉👉

find the loudest and the drunkest... i can do that. any other tips for me?

[seagoing]

I'll keep an eye out. Just making sure, but you don't keep actual spiders with you right?

It's a shot in the dark without a visual of my own, but from what it sounds like their captain is likely all talk. No one needs that many people around them for a unoccupied looting unless they're too scared to do any real fighting themselves.

Without his men I'm sure he won't be much of a fight for you.

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no, just me. I think I provide enough spider to any given situation.

( he won't mention the probability that spiders will be wherever she is most of the time, since they're tiny and their population far surpasses humans. far, far surpasses... )

and without him they'll be easier to handle? ok, got it. that should help me out. thanks, the help is appreciated.

[seagoing]

I'd hope so with that choice of a name.

[She doesn't mention her aversion to actual spiders, but when you've faced actual giant ones the size of large buildings it would be hard to blame anyone who had a problem with them.]

As long as you have some experience in fighting, especially taking people by surprise that should be the gist of it all. But yes, with their captain gone a crew of that size would easily get disorganized from wanting to take measures that clash with one another. Shouldn't be too hard after that.

No need to thank me, I've done nothing to really earn it. If you get those workers back their missing belongings it'll be thanks enough.

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I guess I'm experienced with fighting? sorta just... roll with the punches, but usually it works out.

( spider senses that help him avoid most things thrown his way help a lot. )

I'll do my best. and I can be pretty ok at this sort of thing, so, fingers crossed

[seagoing]

The fast and loose approach then? Nothing wrong with that so long as you keep your head about you and look out for what the other guy is up to.

[To some degree it's how she fights, impulsive and without much of a plan before she moves, so this much she understands.]

I'm sure you'll do fine. If it does get hairy out there try to lay low. It's not as if I don't know where you are after all, and I can come show them how a proper pirate handles things if you need me.

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bonefide pirate backup is pretty damn tempting

if need be i'll just hang out somewhere secluded and let you know. but consider me confident. 👍