elnysa | video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[ Byerly, a handsome fellow with a hard-to-place accent that just sounds a bit different, is lounging on a couch. The angle isn't entirely flattering, since he's filming himself while laying supine, and so there's a view sort of halfway up his nostrils that is a little bit too much information. A bottle of brandy dangles from one hand, and his voice is slurring just a bit. This fellow seems quite drunk. ]

Bonsoir, you grunting peasants and cultureless rubes, and happy Winterfair to all. For those of you who are cultureless monsters, Winterfair is a time when gifts are exchanged and joy is had. My gift to you is that I won't call any of you peasants again for the duration of this broadcast. Winterfair was also the last Emperor's birthday, or thereabouts, which meant everyone had to give him their taxes for the year, but mine's not till later, so you don't need to pay me till then. I'll let you know when taxes are due. Start saving up now.

So what should you all give me instead? I suppose to begin with you could entertain me. What do you say, my cream puffs - a little game of two truths and a lie? You know the rules, since the rules are literally the name of the game. Go on, play with me, do. I'll start. I'm currently rightful Emperor of Barrayar, my great grandfather Pierre once showed up to a Winterfair ball soaked in blood to send a message, I'm terrible in bed.

Anyone who opts out of the game, I'm going to assume they're simply too in love with me to speak with me, so don't play at your own risk.

[ He winks, and then lifts the brandy to his mouth - and it apparently goes down at a bad angle, because he sits up, coughing and spluttering and getting alcohol down his front before he shuts off the feed. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I’d rather listen to boring stories than just one exciting one, if it means enjoying the sound of your voice.

Trying your hand at being a professional flatterer yourself?

Perhaps. Is it working?

I suppose it depends. What do you want your reward to be for this flattery?

Besides your stories? I hadn’t thought of one. Something chaste for something so minimal, like... I don’t know, a kiss?

[ Byerly hesitates, gaze flicking over to Dorian. Well, no way for it but the blunt way, right? ]

Are you still - interested in me, then?

[He sighs, spending a moment looking at him in the mirror before he can bring himself to turn around.]

Should I not be?

[ A small shrug as he scrubs at the clothes. ]

Just checking. Now that you know that things are not, perhaps, quite as light and easy with me as you might have thought.

Things are never light and easy. [He crosses his arms.] I know that more than you think I do. I'm not going to be hopping back on your cock so easily, though - that much should be obvious.

It's not so obvious, actually. I've known my fair share of people who screwed me because they detested me. Provoking them served me well...though I did end up a bit afraid for my life, at times.

That seems a little counterproductive. I loathe Byerly, so I'm going to give him the ride of a lifetime. [He can't help but laugh.] No, if I despised you, I'd rope you into one of those little games, except there's no reward at the end. What did you say? A denial like that would break your poor heart?

[ A rueful shrug. ]

Presupposing I actually possess the poor organ, yes it would.

Let's hope you either don't, or you won't test my patience that far.

[He straightens up, setting the towel over the sink.] You aren't opposed to me borrowing from your wardrobe, I hope.

I have some things that would look fine on you, yes. I can go and pick them out for you once I'm done here.

[ He does live to serve. ]

Remind me to get you two bottles for your trouble, then. [A beat.] If it doesn't look anything like what you'd wear at home.

I wouldn't dress Dorian in a Byerly suit. Don't worry. I'll ensure that it's tame in color and outrageous in cut.

Outrageous in cut? [He raises a hand to his chest, feigning offense.] I'll have you know it's very mild. The audacity! The depravity. Next you'll say I'm too dramatic.

Don't you get cold, dear Dorian?

Well, I... Yes, I do. I was hoping for some humidity.

Dear Dorian, let's get you an elegant coat. Something fur-lined.

Edited (god fucking damn it) 2017-12-19 01:27 (UTC)

Then how will anyone behold my stunning physique, dear Byerly? I think I'm doing just fine.

Yes, because there's nothing that attracts a man like a pair of nipples rock-hard from the cold.

It doesn't show the nipple. [He rolls his eyes, but he's crosses his arms over so they don't show moments later.] I'll... consider it. If the snow keeps up.

By which time you'll be a frozen corpse. Alas. At least you'll be a handsome one.

Flattering even my corpse... Well, it’s working. I’ll trust your judgement if you find anything, then.

(no subject)

vorrutyer - 2017-12-19 18:17 (UTC) - Expand

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