video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly, a handsome fellow with a hard-to-place accent that just sounds a bit different, is lounging on a couch. The angle isn't entirely flattering, since he's filming himself while laying supine, and so there's a view sort of halfway up his nostrils that is a little bit too much information. A bottle of brandy dangles from one hand, and his voice is slurring just a bit. This fellow seems quite drunk. ]

Bonsoir, you grunting peasants and cultureless rubes, and happy Winterfair to all. For those of you who are cultureless monsters, Winterfair is a time when gifts are exchanged and joy is had. My gift to you is that I won't call any of you peasants again for the duration of this broadcast. Winterfair was also the last Emperor's birthday, or thereabouts, which meant everyone had to give him their taxes for the year, but mine's not till later, so you don't need to pay me till then. I'll let you know when taxes are due. Start saving up now.

So what should you all give me instead? I suppose to begin with you could entertain me. What do you say, my cream puffs - a little game of two truths and a lie? You know the rules, since the rules are literally the name of the game. Go on, play with me, do. I'll start. I'm currently rightful Emperor of Barrayar, my great grandfather Pierre once showed up to a Winterfair ball soaked in blood to send a message, I'm terrible in bed.

Anyone who opts out of the game, I'm going to assume they're simply too in love with me to speak with me, so don't play at your own risk.

[ He winks, and then lifts the brandy to his mouth - and it apparently goes down at a bad angle, because he sits up, coughing and spluttering and getting alcohol down his front before he shuts off the feed. ]

Comments

[seagoing]

I thought I'd try and call your bluff but really? Royalty?

My turn to give it a shot then? Lets see...I've once been part of a foursome, A demon once offered me a brand new ship, and I learned my style of fighting from an assassin.

[vorrutyer]

Oh, this is difficult.

[ He purses his lips in genuine thought. ]

I'm going to guess it's the second one. I would assume a demon would see that you couldn't be bought so cheaply.

[seagoing]

When the deal seems good and said demon is also seducing you its possible. I mean, I didn't go through with it but you'd have understood if you were there. It was a very attractive demon.

[She just shrugs while shaking her head.]

Anyway unfortunately the first is false, not that I'm averse to it.

[vorrutyer]

What - Oh, we need to remedy that.

[seagoing]

I'm up for it if you are. You know, I hear they make threesomes seem almost chaste, and I've had my fair share of those.

[vorrutyer]

True. Although sometimes they're less than ideal, as well. The problem, mathematically speaking, is that it's quite easy to simply break off into two pairs. One must curate a foursome very carefully, lest it turn into something tame.

[seagoing]

Where's the fun in simply pairing off and not sharing one another? That's such a waste of willing flesh and talented fingers. Tame was never my field of choice, I prefer more...memorable experiences with my partners. I'm curious though, how does one go about organizing such a thing?

[She grins knowingly with a brow raised in full knowledge that he knows what she means.]

So, does that mean you have people in mind or do you want to give another round of this game of yours a go for now?

[vorrutyer]

No one in mind, alas. I know a few who might be open-minded enough, but there is of yet no guarantee of their compatibility with one another...We're going to have to plan carefully. So, in the meantime: yes, another round. It was my turn?

[seagoing]

Let's make a note of it and come back to it later then. I'd like to eventually scratch it off of my list of things to do before I die at least. But anyway go on, let me redeem myself and try to spot your lie.

[vorrutyer]

My two facts and one non-fact. Yes.

[ He makes a little show of thinking. ]

Hm. I despise the cold, I don't know how to swim...and I like it best when the woman's on top.

[seagoing]

Hmmm. [She crosses her arms, tilts her head to the side mulling it over.] Well I hope the third is true, or at least I can maybe convince you to change your stance on it if it's false. So I'll say the third and the first is true, and the second is false.