video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly, a handsome fellow with a hard-to-place accent that just sounds a bit different, is lounging on a couch. The angle isn't entirely flattering, since he's filming himself while laying supine, and so there's a view sort of halfway up his nostrils that is a little bit too much information. A bottle of brandy dangles from one hand, and his voice is slurring just a bit. This fellow seems quite drunk. ]

Bonsoir, you grunting peasants and cultureless rubes, and happy Winterfair to all. For those of you who are cultureless monsters, Winterfair is a time when gifts are exchanged and joy is had. My gift to you is that I won't call any of you peasants again for the duration of this broadcast. Winterfair was also the last Emperor's birthday, or thereabouts, which meant everyone had to give him their taxes for the year, but mine's not till later, so you don't need to pay me till then. I'll let you know when taxes are due. Start saving up now.

So what should you all give me instead? I suppose to begin with you could entertain me. What do you say, my cream puffs - a little game of two truths and a lie? You know the rules, since the rules are literally the name of the game. Go on, play with me, do. I'll start. I'm currently rightful Emperor of Barrayar, my great grandfather Pierre once showed up to a Winterfair ball soaked in blood to send a message, I'm terrible in bed.

Anyone who opts out of the game, I'm going to assume they're simply too in love with me to speak with me, so don't play at your own risk.

[ He winks, and then lifts the brandy to his mouth - and it apparently goes down at a bad angle, because he sits up, coughing and spluttering and getting alcohol down his front before he shuts off the feed. ]

Comments

[vorrutyer]

Au contraire, mon chou. I was an inconsequential nobody back home. It's only here that I've inherited the camp stool - what with the death of everyone else from Barrayar, you see.

[rhygret]

Okay but who are you going to rule over, exactly? It's not like you have a kingdom here.

[vorrutyer]

A government in exile is still a government. I'm here representing Barrayar's interest.

[rhygret]

Okay but like...you know it's all gone right? I had a company and everything back home and it's sort of space dust now. That doesn't mean I'm still going around calling myself the CEO.

[vorrutyer]

No? You should. You need a bit of help in terms of - [ His gesture takes in all of Rhys. ]

[rhygret]

[ YOU JUST GESTURED TO ALL OF HIM /hiccup ]

....What? What's wrong with me? What are you talking about, I look great.

[vorrutyer]

You lack - [ He purses his lips consideringly. ] Poise.

[rhygret]

Poi--what? I'm full of poise! I don't, like, I don't know what it means but I've got lots of it okay? You are looking at the poise master right now my friend, this camera doesn't do me justice.

[ #nailedit ]

[vorrutyer]

[ He purses his lips. ]

Start by talking less.

[rhygret]

[ )8< !!!!! that is exactly the face Rhys is making right now, just way more petty ]

Oh yeah? Well maybe you. You sh, should--should do that. Talk less. Because you talk so much.

[vorrutyer]

I do. But I speak with poise and dignity. My birthright as being of the manner born.

[rhygret]

Ohhhhhkay, yep. This was a great conversation. You have fun with that birthright stuff that literally means nothing here!

[vorrutyer]

See, this is exactly what I'm talking about. You need to say that more witheringly. Try - "Good heavens, my good gentleman" instead of "Okay yep." [ That sounds very odd coming from his urbane mouth. ]

[rhygret]

I'm not saying that. It sounds corny and old. Like I'm some stuffy snob from Athenas.

[ It really does. But he's also got, like, a nice voice and he somehoe still manages to nail it. ]

[vorrutyer]

Oh, give it a try. I think you can pull it off. With conviction. Or - if you truly refuse, then at least let me dress you properly.

[rhygret]

What's wrong with the way I dress??

[ HE DOESN'T EVEN TUCK HIS TIE INTO HIS PANTS ANYMORE why is everyone shaming him about this ]

[vorrutyer]

It's not suave.

[rhygret]

Do you know how hot and humid it is out here?? I'd die in a suit. I don't know if people never sweat where you came from but sweat stains? Do not look cool. It also totally wrecks hair gel.

[vorrutyer]

Heavens - that hair isn't deliberate, is it?

[rhygret]

Yeah, it is. It's a nice haircut.

[vorrutyer]

It's unsuave.

[rhygret]

It's sleek! And stylish, thank you very much!

[vorrutyer]

It looks too deliberate. It looks like you're trying.

[ He makes "trying" sound like a dirty word. ]

[rhygret]

You don't look in the mirror much, do you?

[vorrutyer]

My style is effortless and timeless, good fellow.