video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly, a handsome fellow with a hard-to-place accent that just sounds a bit different, is lounging on a couch. The angle isn't entirely flattering, since he's filming himself while laying supine, and so there's a view sort of halfway up his nostrils that is a little bit too much information. A bottle of brandy dangles from one hand, and his voice is slurring just a bit. This fellow seems quite drunk. ]

Bonsoir, you grunting peasants and cultureless rubes, and happy Winterfair to all. For those of you who are cultureless monsters, Winterfair is a time when gifts are exchanged and joy is had. My gift to you is that I won't call any of you peasants again for the duration of this broadcast. Winterfair was also the last Emperor's birthday, or thereabouts, which meant everyone had to give him their taxes for the year, but mine's not till later, so you don't need to pay me till then. I'll let you know when taxes are due. Start saving up now.

So what should you all give me instead? I suppose to begin with you could entertain me. What do you say, my cream puffs - a little game of two truths and a lie? You know the rules, since the rules are literally the name of the game. Go on, play with me, do. I'll start. I'm currently rightful Emperor of Barrayar, my great grandfather Pierre once showed up to a Winterfair ball soaked in blood to send a message, I'm terrible in bed.

Anyone who opts out of the game, I'm going to assume they're simply too in love with me to speak with me, so don't play at your own risk.

[ He winks, and then lifts the brandy to his mouth - and it apparently goes down at a bad angle, because he sits up, coughing and spluttering and getting alcohol down his front before he shuts off the feed. ]

Comments

un: h. devere; video

[etiquette]

[oh byerly, you’ve made this so hard to guess at. harry is smiling to himself, but he can’t resist a good game. where else will all his outlandish accomplishments just get dismissed as lies?]

I may not have the full scope of view on this one, not would I be opposed to verifying it firsthand, but I can guess well enough which of yours is the inauthentic tale. How about something a little more challenging?

As for me: I speak a dozen languages, I’ve had my dead dog stuffed and mounted in my loo back on earth, I’ve successfully forged and committed art fraud.

[vorrutyer]

Hm. I do hope that it's the one about the dog. For many reasons.

But - very well; more challenging. [ He thinks a moment, then says: ] When I was a boy, I nearly drowned due to going out sailing while I was completely shitfaced. My most beloved cousin Donna flew off to another planet to become Dono instead so that she, now he, could inherit the Vorrutyer Countship. I once ran naked for a full mile in the heart of Vorbarr Sultana in full daylight.

[etiquette]

I was overly fond of Mr. Pickle. That one’s true I’m afraid, though I’m flattered you think I’m talented enough for art forgery.

[he pauses, considering the options.]

The second is true.

Might I inquire what the Vorbarr Sultana is before I take a stab at the rest?

[vorrutyer]

Ah, the heart of the Vorbarra district, and the planetary capital. Barra-yar. Vor-barr. You see.

[ What a dreadful explanation. ]

[etiquette]

I’ll take a stab and say that’s your second truth. How did I do?

[vorrutyer]

Alas, you missed the mark. It was Rutheim, my District capital.

[etiquette]

And what happens when one loses or wins this game?

I'm more than amenable to another go.

[not without some innuendo, harry lifts a bro and offers a smirk.]

[vorrutyer]

It is the problem. Usually, the punishment for losing is taking a drink, or something more erotic - depends on the partner. [ He flashes a grin at Harry over that one. ] But it's harder with people in two different locations.

[etiquette]

I’m not one to shy away from a challenge, I assure you.

[bit early in the day for drinking, but he does have a bottle of scotch in view of the screen. as for the other...]

Go on then, what’s my punishment? Surely you have no shortage of creative ideas.