video; un: eproghuefgdzptrrw

[vorrutyer]

[ Byerly, a handsome fellow with a hard-to-place accent that just sounds a bit different, is lounging on a couch. The angle isn't entirely flattering, since he's filming himself while laying supine, and so there's a view sort of halfway up his nostrils that is a little bit too much information. A bottle of brandy dangles from one hand, and his voice is slurring just a bit. This fellow seems quite drunk. ]

Bonsoir, you grunting peasants and cultureless rubes, and happy Winterfair to all. For those of you who are cultureless monsters, Winterfair is a time when gifts are exchanged and joy is had. My gift to you is that I won't call any of you peasants again for the duration of this broadcast. Winterfair was also the last Emperor's birthday, or thereabouts, which meant everyone had to give him their taxes for the year, but mine's not till later, so you don't need to pay me till then. I'll let you know when taxes are due. Start saving up now.

So what should you all give me instead? I suppose to begin with you could entertain me. What do you say, my cream puffs - a little game of two truths and a lie? You know the rules, since the rules are literally the name of the game. Go on, play with me, do. I'll start. I'm currently rightful Emperor of Barrayar, my great grandfather Pierre once showed up to a Winterfair ball soaked in blood to send a message, I'm terrible in bed.

Anyone who opts out of the game, I'm going to assume they're simply too in love with me to speak with me, so don't play at your own risk.

[ He winks, and then lifts the brandy to his mouth - and it apparently goes down at a bad angle, because he sits up, coughing and spluttering and getting alcohol down his front before he shuts off the feed. ]

Comments

[illuminescent]

[She pauses a moment.]

Well.

I am a skilled tilter, I am the first queen of my name, once I outran a royal hunt by befriending a unicorn.

[vorrutyer]

[ Look, look, look how grown up he is, he's not making a single joke about virgins and unicorns. Look. ]

I think there have been hundreds of Queen Lucies.

[illuminescent]

Oh! But that is untrue!

[vorrutyer]

Ahh. Then you never conquered a unicorn - it was a dragon you rode.

[illuminescent]

[She’s laughing now.]

You are humoring me, By.

[vorrutyer]

What - don't tell me you're not a skilled tilter?

[illuminescent]

[Another giggle.

And then there's a pause.]

May I ask you a favor?

[vorrutyer]

Of course. I live to serve.

[illuminescent]

Would you mind, terribly, if I stayed with you a time?

[vorrutyer]

[ A slight blink. He's genuinely taken aback. ]

I - I certainly would not mind. But is that the best thing to do?

[illuminescent]

The Starks have been terribly kind to me, but I find myself unable to inconvenience them with my presence, and I am...quite alone.

[vorrutyer]

I'm not reputable, Lucy.

[illuminescent]

Would you hurt me?

[vorrutyer]

Never.

[illuminescent]

Then I am unconcerned with your reputation.

[vorrutyer]

[ He's quiet a moment, rubbing at his chin. ]

You...have the concept of reputation where you're from? And dishonor?

[illuminescent]

[A heavy sigh.]

Yes.

[vorrutyer]

[ A small shrug. ]

All right, then. Then yes. I'll prepare a bed.

[illuminescent]

Thank you very much.

[She goes a little quiet.]

I would always vouch for an honorable man, who acts honorably with me.

[vorrutyer]

[ He shakes his head. ]

Unfortunately, the word of a good woman isn't much against the weight of a very bad reputation.

[illuminescent]

I think that is heartily untrue.

But I will grant you it can be difficult.

[vorrutyer]

Ah. [ He shakes his head. ] I simply do not wish to cause you an ounce of suffering, good Lucy.

[illuminescent]

I think I have suffered quite admirably enough now, here.

[vorrutyer]

Not on my account, though, right?

[illuminescent]

No, never.

You have always been most kind, most faithful, and most proper with me.