I. | audio | un: sparkler

[flashystyle]

Is... is this thing on? [Excuse the uh, distinct sound of someone tapping a screen like an old person.] Hello? Oh! There you are. Excellent.

So, now that we've gotten the world's-- sorry, the universe's biggest trust fall known to man and not-man, I think it's time we start popping the question. The real question. No hypotheticals, no, excuse me, [Dorian voice turning a pitch higher in imitation of... someone? Who knows. This is probably the collective voice of all of you. It's incredibly inaccurate.]

If I had the chance, I'd do it! They're a bad person! They killed hundreds of people, or... or one time they looked at me funny and they had shiny things galore! [ahem] We've all had drama against one another, with no real way of proving they're a terrible person other than the game of he said, she said, so! Let's get straight to it, shall we?

Have you, yes, you, killed someone or... something? Poof, gone, light left their eyes if they have them, turns out they're dead forever or it's like a five-minute deal. Whatever have you; it still counts if they stopped breathing.

If yes, why? Should we all expect a knife in our back? Get electrocuted to death? Be made to walk off a cliff? What are the qualifiers for this sort of thing, really? Personal vendettas? OR... perhaps you were playing the hero. [the deets, give the sweet deets.]

If no, well... I didn't think that far ahead, truth be told. You're more than likely surrounded by murderers, so... what's... a food you miss? Murderers can probably answer this as well, perhaps we'll find some sort of connection. [or, like, just listen to how many people you met have killed someone? have fun with that.]

Comments

[flashystyle]

[Oh, that... sucks. Dorian, the only child, has no concept of how she must have been feeling. So he isn't going to say some stupid shit like "I understand" or "I know how you feel", he'll keep it simple.]

I... see. Well, good on you for that good old revenge. Really gave it to him.

[Nailed it.]

And... Me? A holy man? I sometimes have to wonder if I'm going to set fire in a Chantry, please. Where I come from, there's a giant hole in the sky that makes small holes on the ground that spout literal demons everywhere. Cultists want to make the hole bigger and let them kill everyone that doesn't. Kind of a problem for everyone, religious or not.

[kissintime]

[She just snerks loudly at that. Not bad Dorian, 4/5!]

Wow that does fucking suck. You literally fight demons and cultists by shocking them to death. Sounds like some crazy fantasy bullshit. I like it! [She's never been into that nerd shit, but hell her life is just stupid nerd shit. The last few months have convinced her of this.] Are you gonna be applying your murdering skills around here? Fishing for partners?

[flashystyle]

[Uh, there's been a mistake? He's a 10 at all times?]

That depends. Should the need arise where there are a brand new set of cultists, or other crazy fantasy bullshit, I think I might need someone to punch a few faces for me. Would you happen to be up for that, by any chance?

[kissintime]

[fine, fine, 8/10. there you go.]

I would be more than up to punching bastards down. That's one of three things I'm good at!

[flashystyle]

I'm surprised there's three. [wait, she might be able to beat him up,] Only three.

What might be the other two, then?

[kissintime]

Gambling and replicating objects. Though neither of those really have anything to do with fighting.

[flashystyle]

Well, now you have me curious. Do those go hand in hand? Replicate more money to gamble?

[kissintime]

[LONG pause and then--]

Fuck! Why didn't I ever think to do that?!

[WHY DIDN'T SHE THINK OF REPLICATING HER MONEY THAT'S BRILLIANT AND SIMPLE AS SHIT.

(araki probably forgot)]